that one guy

2011-12-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

Movies I Saw In 2008

2009-01-01T00:31:00.001-08:00

Here are the movies from 2008 that I've seen, in alphabetical order. If it's not on this list, I didn't see it.

21
Baby Mama
The Bank Job
Be Kind Rewind
Charlie Bartlett
Cloverfield
The Dark Knight
Eagle Eye
Forbidden Kingdom
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Get Smart
The Happening
Hellboy II
The Incredible Hulk
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man
Journey 3D
Jumper
Kung Fu Panda
Penelope
Quantum of Solace
Rambo
Run Fatboy Run
Son of Rambow
Speed Racer
Strange Wilderness
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Step Brothers
Tropic Thunder
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan
Wall-E

Review: Brisingr

2008-12-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

After my last experience with Christopher Paolini, I had given up hope on him ever becoming a good author. I stand by every word in that review – in fact, if anything, I think I was too kind to that book. Eldest was absolute hackery; sheer indulgent derivative garbage. It was astonishingly, amazingly bad, so full of hubris that it could be described as a literary Tower of Babel.

I would even go so far to call it magnificently bad. Gloriously bad.

It was with this in mind that I first opened Brisingr. I was eager to see just how bad Paolini could get. (After all, everyone loves a trainwreck.) Consider me shocked and surprised when I realized that, well, it wasn’t all that bad. The writing is better, there are fewer scenes that seem ripped from superior sources, and it seems like Paolini is having a bit more fun in his world. There are still a few extremely awkward attempts at humor injected, and the “romance” scenes in the book are really, really bad – but there’s far less here that’s worthy of scorn or derision.

The problem is, there’s nothing much that’s worthy of praise here, either. While Brisingr isn’t bad, it certainly isn't good. It avoids much of the derivative prose and plot points of the past two books, but it’s fairly paint by the numbers – we know everything that’s going to happen, at every point along the way, and we just have to sit and watch it unfold. It’s like reading a book for the second time – only without having any investment in the plot or love for the characters. There’s no resonance, no impact, and no depth. The characters are nothing more than action figures in Paolini’s hands; the world of Alagaësia is nothing more than a sandbox in his backyard. There’s nothing here that you haven’t seen (done better) a dozen times before.

Paolini has indeed improved his craft. But with nothing to elevate it to something of worth, yet absent of anything truly bad, Brisingr can sit comfortably on the shelves of the Sci Fi / Fantasy section in bookstores everywhere, keeping happy company with books that hold appeal only to those who love dragons like little girls love ponies.

Christopher Paolini, congratulations – you’ve reached the level of mediocre fantasy writer.

a few words on banned books

2008-09-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

When I was young, a visit to the library was a weekly event. They knew me by name - Jason, the little crazy boy who checks out 20 - 30 books every week. I *devoured* books. Tore through anything that was placed in my hands, whether it be kids books, adult books, young adult books, or even non-fiction. Even if it wasn't something a young 10 year old boy would typically read, I'd read it.

And then one week, during my weekly visit, there was a display in the front of the library saying "Celebrate Banned Books Week!" This immediately sent my Good Little Christian 10 Year Old Conscience into a tizzy. They had BANNED BOOKS in this library? Nearly sputtering, I went to my Mom, eager to show her that her good Christian son had discovered something horrible, and that from now on we'd simply have to find another library to frequent, one that didn't support such filth.

However, instead of outrage, my mother simply led me over to the banned books display. She pointed out several books I had already read (and loved.) And then she told me to pick out one to take home and read.

Needless to say, this is not what 10 year old me expected.

That day she explained something to me that was one of the most important lessons I would ever learn, and that was this: Freedom means choice. If you decide what's bad, or wrong, or filthy, or just plain Not Right for someone else, then what's to stop them from doing the same to you? It's up to you to decide what is Good for you, and what is Not Good. Go in with an open mind, with what you've learned by your side, and choose for yourself.

From the American Library Association's website:

[Banned Books Week] celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one’s opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them. After all, intellectual freedom can exist only where these two essential conditions are met.

I couldn't put it better myself.

Some banned books of note:

Harry Potter (All 7)
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Catcher in the Rye
Bridge to Terabithia
The Giver
To Kill A Mockingbirg
Beloved
His Dark Materials series (Golden Compass, Subtle Knife, Amber Spyglass)
Gossip Girl series
Brave New World
Slaughterhouse Five
A Day No Pigs Would Die
Julie of the Wolves
Fahrenheit 451
The Lovely Bones
Anastasia Again!
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry

This is, admittedly, a very short list. Your library will most likely have a much longer one. And, if you're like me, you'll find some of your absolute favorite books of all time on that list.

Imagine if someone had taken the choice to read those books from you? Imagine never having read Bridge to Terabithia. Or Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. To Kill A Mocking Bird.

A world without these books would suck.

Go to your library, pick up a banned book, and celebrate the fact that we live in a nation where we can choose ourselves what we should, or should not, read.

thatoneguy's vegas adventures! (spoiler alert - they're pretty lame and boring)

2008-08-05T22:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, I am in Las Vegas - I'm here on business until Thursday morning. Here are some crappy pictures taken with my cell phone to prove it!

Also, you can follow me on twitter (seriously, sign up if you haven't yet - it's free!) and live vicariously through my adventures (and misadventures) - it's just like being here, only without all the cigarette smoke!

Paris Hotel and Casino

New York New York Hotel and Casino

Ceaser's Palace (sorry, I know it's a crappy picture.)

The Bellagio, and its famous water show. (I'm going to try and take some night pictures tomorrow night - it's pretty dang cool.)

oh yes. two things.

2008-07-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

1.a - You? Need to subscribe to my twitter feed. (and if you don't have a twitter account, SIGN UP! Seriously, it's a blast.)

1.b - Also, for some reason, whenever I twitter from my phone it doesn't get published until 7 hours later. So, you know, if I have woken you up with a tweet at like 3am I AM SO SORRY. If anyone knows how to fix this, let me know!

2. I am seeing Jurassic Park on a huge screen at the local theater tonight for a midnight showing, and I am beyond excited - I've never seen it on the big screen, so I'm like a 11 year old all over again.

catching up, part 1

2008-07-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

One of my New Years resolutions was to write a review for every film I saw in the theaters this year.

I am, if you have not noticed already, a little behind. Time to catch up!

Cloverfield (PG-13)

A relentless roller coaster that consistently deals out emotional sucker-punch after emotional sucker-punch, Cloverfield is the brave film experiment from the minds of J.J. Abrams, Drew Goddard, and Matt Reeves. It's America's Godzilla, a statement on today's Facebook/MySpace/Twitter generation, a daring film experiment, and a breathtaking thrill ride. You may have heard from people who hated it (you might even be one of them) - I'm here to say that they're wrong. Yes, there are reasons to dislike Cloverfield (two of them, by my count) - you could get motion sick, or you could dislike how cruel it is to the characters in the film. That's it. Anything else, and you're probably wrong. (Seriously. I'm willing to argue this in the comments, so, you know, try to prove me wrong. I dare you!)

It takes a brave film to find a group of people, and stick with them - we don't get to see the scientists trying to save the day, we don't get to watch the President make decisions in the White House, we don't get to see the big military battles, we don't even get an elaborate backstory or explanation of what's going on - just one group of friends trying to stay alive throughout the night as a huge-ass creature rips it's way through New York.

This is enough for me. And, my friends, it should be enough for you.

By taking this approach the tension stays high throughout the film - we know we won't be leaving this group until the very end, and we're fairly sure that the end in question isn't going to be a happy one. The film takes the brave approach of not giving us a typical resolution - we get a perfect emotional resolution, but not the resolution we expected. (In the words of Joss Whedon, "Don't give the audience what they want - give them what they need.)

It's exciting, brave, funny, and unlike any other film you'll ever see. Completely worth checking out, and highly recommended.

the whole deal with the adoption thing

2008-07-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? And I really apologize - things have been crazy as of late, and I've avoided blogging because I didn't want this place to become a dumping ground. I get nervous writing about the darker times of life, simply because something I write in the span of a few minutes is suddenly viewed as a summary of my entire life at that very moment. So, if I write about one area of life that sucks, suddenly that becomes "our life sucks." And this simply is not so. I mean, I could be grumpy for like 10 minutes, but if I wrote something during that time it'd seem like life was simply this horrible awful thing. Thankfully, it's not.

However, I'd be lying if I said everything has been roses, sunshine, and kittens the past few months. And there's one particular area where I feel I owe an explanation, because I still get asked a lot of questions about it. The adoption. This is going to be quite hard for me to write, and I think that I'm writing it just as much for myself as I am for all of you. We've accepted what's happened, and we know God is in control, but I'm still trying to figure out how to feel about the whole thing.

A few things before I start - first, all names save for my wife and I's have been changed. This is both to protect the privacy of those involved, and to protect my wife and I. There has been quite a bit of legal action accompanying this adoption. Luckily, none of it whatsoever has involved my wife and I. We'd like to keep it this way. Everything is done and settled, but they've said that before, and it started all back up again. And, as we all know, The Internet Is Forever. Anything you type here is available to anyone in the whole wide world from here to one thousand years in the future. So yes, names have been changed, and some details have been condensed and/or changed as well. Also, I will be trying very hard to keep what I "thought" or "felt" out of it - it's just a simple timeline of events. Also, it might get a little long. Just saying.

Also, the entirety of this blog post is not a legally binding statement, and should not and can not be used in any legal proceedings. It is a personal recollection of a chain of events, and it is not meant to be a factual or literal statement. (Besides, if your court case rests on something written by a guy with MS you might want to re-evaluate your case.)

Now that that is out of the way, here's what happened:

Early this year, my mother called me. On of my distant aunts, Janice, had called her earlier that day. Janice has two daughers - Laura and Linda. Both have had several children. Both have been to jail at least once. Both of them have had all of their children taken away by social services. Laura had just had another child, a boy, and she was about to be sent to prison. Her child was once again taken from her. Janice had called my mother, asking if they would be interested in adopting the boy. My mom said "no, but my son and his wife can't have kids, and really want to adopt, so they might be interested." She called me, and let me know about it. We talked to Janice, and found out that if we were interested, we would have to call Social Services in a certain county in California first thing Monday morning.

It was Saturday night. We had about 36 hours in which to make our decision. We prayed about it, and both agreed that it was a door that God presented to us - and we'd see if it was open. As long as God kept presenting us doors to go through, we'd go through them. That way, it'd always be a God thing - and never an "us" thing. We called Monday morning. They took our info, asked us questions. We were in line to adopt this little boy.

Previous to us, they had already tried to place the child with his paternal Grandmother. She didn't pass the background check. We were now on the list, along with Linda, the boy's aunt. Linda has cleaned up her life in the past few years, is attending (and involved with) church, and is engaged to get married. She's not able to have kids anymore, and she wanted to adopt her sister's boy. Janice wanted Linda (her daughter) to be evaluated first. They begin to evaluate her. Fast forward a few weeks - Linda does not pass the check, and does not qualify at this time for adoption. We're told they'd be moving on to us. So, home free, right?

Not so much. Apparently, when this boy was placed with the family he was currently with he wasn't placed as a foster child - he was placed as an adoptive child. That is, Social Services told this family that they could *adopt* him. They had had him for several months already. A conference call is scheduled by Social Services, involving all the parties involved. It's nearly 3 hours long. It was long, difficult, and exhausting. At the end of it it was decided by Social Services to leave the boy with the family he was with, and not to move forward with us. Around this time Janice (the boy's grandmother) had called in another family to try and adopt the boy. (She did not tell us this.) This family was closely related to us and her, but also actually lived in California. After this meeting Janice pushed for a hearing. Apparently, Laura had (years ago) signed a statement with Social Services that family members were *always* to be given first evaluation when it concerned her children being put up for adoption. Janice argued that the child could not be left with the family that had now had him for over six months until every family member was exhausted.

We did not know any of this was going on, with us being in Washington State and all - we thought the child was happily growing up in a loving home. We then got a call from Social Services at 7:30am one morning - they were beginning to work with Washington State to go forward with our background check and home study. We were shocked, surprised, and excited - God had once again opened a door that was completely closed. We had been at peace with the situation, bummed but still happy that the kid was in a good loving home. Now, we were being evaluated again.

Several weeks pass. We receive word from extended family members that we won't be getting the child, but the other family that had come forward would be instead. We heard from Social Services again - there was going to be another conference call. And, at the end of it, the boy was taken away from the family that wanted to adopt him and placed with the other related family that was in the running. Not us. The reasoning was this - their background checks could be done quicker, since they lived in California. Also, Janice could help raise the child and he'd get to see his birth mother often.

There is more - far, far more, but if I tell those parts then I begin to say things I will probably regret. And I don't want that. We were, and are, completely crushed. I know the family that will be raising this kid - they're good people, and will raise him wonderfully. But it's not us. God has firmly closed the door, and I am having a really hard time with that. We're trusting Him, we want to adopt in the future, but it's just so hard to see so many of our friends having children and then to have this opportunity not work out. We'd love your prayers - we're doing pretty well, all things considered, but prayer is always wonderful.

This post has been written over the past two weeks. It's about half the size that it used to be. It's still too long, but it should give you a very small glimpse of what went on over the past six months. I'm sorry it wasn't happier. To cheer yourself up, go see Wall-E. You deserve it!

don't freak out.

2008-05-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

I mean it. You might have to calm yourself, but once you've steadied your breathing, check this out:

A new film review has been posted over at my wife and I's sadly neglected film review site. I take a look at the skittles blended with pop rocks and chugged with Red Bull experience that is Speed Racer. Did I like it? Click for yourself.

awesome summer movie blowout, part one

2008-05-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

Update:

Apparently, people *did* want to see it. A lot of people wanted to see it. It made approximately $104 million dollars this weekend alone in the US, and it's made over $200 million worldwide. This means Iron Man 2. And The Avengers. And a lot of other Marvel movies. Yay!

Here's the deal - there are a ton of potentially awesome films coming out this summer.

All of them will be begging for your money.

Here's the quandry: Which ones will be worth seeing? And what are these films even *about*, anyways? How do you decide whether or not to plunk your hard earned money to check something out?

Advertising? It lies. Critics? Overly harsh on summer movies. Friends and word of mouth, well, they're usually nothing more than people following trends and hype.

But don't worry - you have me. I'm a total and complete geek, I know what *all* these films are about, I've been following some of them for years, and get this - I am going to share the wealth. You, too, will be "in the know" before everyone else. So, that said, here's the first installment in a summer-long series.

May 2

Iron Man

Robert Downing Jr. is Tony Stark, brilliant billionaire who designs and deals weapons. He's captured, and while being held he decides that when he breaks free he's going to help people. How? By creating the most awesome armored suit ever designed. There's no awkward teen, no tormented history, no gamma-rays or radioactive material that magically gives someone powers, no being birthed from an alien planet - Tony Stark is a remarkable normal guy - he's approaching middle-age, for goodness sake. Iron Man has been called "A super hero movie for grown-ups", and I like that description. And it's supposed to be good. Really good. Like, ridiculously good.

The reviews have started coming in, and they are utterly fantastic. I think its Rotten Tomatoes score is currently (as of Thursday night) sitting at 95% - that is insanely high. Can you remember the last time a summer action film - let alone a comic book movie - got that high of scores? Anyone? So, it's good, but here's the big question: do people want to see it? My circle of friends mostly consists of geeks, so I have no idea if this is something the general public wants to see. I sincerely hope so, but it's a tricky thing - it's easy enough to get fanboys to start drooling, but there's a much bigger "guy with no powers who happens to be a billionaire makes a high-tech suit and fights crime" movie coming out this summer (here's a hint for the slow people in the audience - it's about a bat man.), and I have this horrible feeling that everyone is going to skip this film and wait for that one. Which would be sad, because I want to live in a world where Robert Downing Jr. is a honest-to-goodness movie star. I want movies that he's starring in to make hundreds of millions of dollars. I want a world where a film like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang would be seen by everyone. I think - I hope - that Iron Man will make that a reality.

And, it's good, but *how* good? Best "superhero movie ever" good? And really, what does that list (objectively) look like? Has there been a truly great superhero film? I'd argue that X-Men 2 (or X2, as the marketing wizards at Fox named it) is pretty much a perfect film. (I utterly love Hellboy, but I'm not going to argue that it's the best superhero movie ever made.) Others might argue for Spider-Man 2 or Superman (the original film) - some would say Batman or Batman Begins, but I don't think anyone has actually made a perfect Batman film. Yet. Aske me again in like, two months. (And for the record: I love both those films, and I'm not trashing them at all.) So, it's great, but how great is it, really? And, as a geek side note that none of you will care about - this is the first Marvel film that's made totally by Marvel. Which means, if it tanks - well, let's not talk about if it tanks. Let's just say this: If it does well, we'll get an Iron Man 2 (and 3, most likely). We'll get The Avengers. We'll get event and crossover films. Think about it - The Hulk and Iron Man appearing in the same film. (Actually, it's rumored that Tony Stark actually might have a cameo in the new Hulk movie this summer.) So, yes - if it does, say, $250 million domestically (ie, in the US alone), we'll get all of those. If it does $150 domestically, it'll be a wash - more films will get greenlit, but nothing like The Avengers. (Unless the DVD sales are incredible.) I really want Marvel to succeed - and it looks like they are starting off on a good foot.

So. All that blabbering - are you going to see it? Is there any excitement for this? I'll let you know what I think once I've checked it out (who knows when *that* will be - we just bought a house, so, priorities?), but in the meantime, just assure me that you're going to see it, ok? Thanks. Oh, and word is there's something after the credits, so, stick around, ok?

this was a triumph. i'm making a note here: huge success!

2008-04-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

I think I'm ready for the month of April to be over.

You may have heard my wife and I mention the fact that we're trying to buy a house at the moment - we had the house inspected last Thursday, and it turned out great - except for the inch and half of water in the crawl space under the house.

Oh yes. Water. Underneath the house. It was a little lake. I thought of proudly proclaiming it "Lake Meaden," but then I realized that A) this wasn't a good thing, and B) it'd be a little premature, since we haven't bought the house yet. The little kid side of me that was filled with joy about the various forms of fun that a lake such as that could hold in store quickly gave way to the increasingly stressed out "grown up" side. My grown-up side quickly pointed out that this actually posed a serious problem to our home buying endeaver, that it was quite a considerable amount water, that it couldn't have come from the house we were looking at because the water had been shut off until five minutes ago, you couldn't really fit a raft or boat down there anyways, so shut up inner-child, and anyways wouldn't Lake "Dasher-Of-Dreams" be more appropriate?

The very nice man inspecting the house for us kinda nervously chuckled, said that it was by no means bad news "yet", and that it wasn't a really big deal, and there was no way he was going down there until it was dry.

Well, duh.

We quickly began tossing ideas out, and we decided that the most likely cause was a broken pipe in the neighbor's yard. We decided this because there was a lake in their yard. (Sherlock Holmes' has got NOTHING on us.)

Regardless, the rest of the house turned out wonderful. The inspector said that it was in great shape, and that everyone was good - except for the slowly growing ocean underneath it. He then charged me $330, and told me he'd come back to inspect underneath the house when the water was gone if we wanted. He'd only charge us $50.

And let me just take this moment to say something.

Kids, listen. Growing up sucks. Paying "grown up" money for things sucks even more. There will come a day in your life when paying $2.99 for a comic book is hard to justify, but throwing $350.00+ around for a guy to look at your house is perfectly normal. On this day? You are allowed to cry.

So, the water has now been all pumped out, and it's dry, and tomorrow I'm supposed to call the inspector guy back to look at it again. And we're supposed to get together with our mortgage guy, who keeps calling me and asking me to come down with my wife to sign things, even though we TOLD him she would be gone until the 14th, and I have told him each time he has called since then that she is not getting back until the 14th. Nevertheless, he keeps calling. "Is your wife back?"

No sir, she is not. But I wish she was! *sobs*

Also, to top it off, we received a bill yesterday from the local hospital. They sent us a bill. For the ultrasound-guided biopsy they did on the tumor in my throat. Which happened over a YEAR AGO. Nevermind that it should have been 100% covered by the insurance. Nevermind that they have told us that everything was good. Nevermind that we already got the statement from our insurance company that this was done and settled. (Again - we received this a year ago.)

No no, what amazes me? This was over a year ago. Seriously! Why on earth did they decide to bill us now? I mean... *sigh* I so do not want to call them and dig into this, but unfortunately that is going to have to be done. I just want to sleep. I want to finish buying our house. I want to cuddle and watch movies with my wife. I want my side to stop being numb, I want to stop forgetting things all the time, and I want to play Rock Band with our friends lots and lots.

April has been dumb. But the house stuff should be done soon, my wife's birthday is coming up next week, and May is looking so, so much better.

I'm totally at a loss for a title, here. So... yeah.

2008-04-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

Amazingly enough, I haven't died. Our apartment has not burned down. The cats haven't devoured me in my sleep. And I've only eaten frozen pizza *one* night. I haven't forgotten any major bills or tasks (that I can remember, which I've only realized now is a logical fallacy of horrific proportions - how can I know if I *have* forgot something?). Things are, overall, pretty normal.

Except everything sucks. I have found I can survive without my wife - there's just no point to it. Even watching tv or movies - without Sarah? Waste of time. Even if I know it's a film she'd *hate* - I'd rather watch it with her and hear her dismissive comments than watch it alone. So yes, things are fine, but there's just no fun to any of it. It makes me a little proud that I can do the shopping, cook, and do errands all by myself, but it's a hollow victory. I am not the kind of husband who takes his wife for granted, always eager to jump at the chance of a guy's night out. I like my wife. A lot. I like hanging out with her, I like doing things with her. In case you didn't notice, I love her - this is one of the trillion reasons I married her, because I simply think that things are better when she's around. She makes me, the life we live, and the things around us, better.

So yeah, I'm thrilled she's having a blast in Georgia, and I'm doing ok here - but I can't wait for her to get back. Life is ridiculously pointless and boring without her. When she left, I was afraid one of two things would happen. First, that I'd completely fall apart without her. Second, that I'd have an absolute blast watching movies and playing videogames. I never considered the third, more horrifying prospect - that neither of those things would happen, that I'd be perfectly fine, with the ability to do whatever I like, but to have all of it just be a hollow empty shell of what it is when she's around.

So yes, I'll be glad when she gets back home.

Also, in case you haven't heard - we're buying a house. In fact, it's looking like we might be able to start moving in, like, 3 weeks. Crazy, huh?

twitter

2008-03-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

Added a twitter feed to the sidebar - I'll begin posting "for real" again soon. Honest!

our favorite films of the year 2007, part TEN. (Yes. Finally. Our absolute favorite film from the year 2007. WE DID IT!)

2008-03-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

Yes. I finally finished writing my last review. (My wife's has been done for like 3 weeks, now.) And, I have to say, I love every single film on my wife and I's top ten list, but these two films are truly amazing. I believe both of them are "must see" films - even if you don't love either one, both are experiences that are entirely unique. And please - comment away! Tell us what we missed, or which of the films on our list you hated! If there's demand, (aka, comments), I'll do a quick list of my *least* favorite films from last year as well. So, without further blabbering... our favorite films of last year.

sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons
7. Mr. Bean's Holiday
6. Beowulf
5. Ratatouille
4. Stardust
3. Hot Fuzz
2. Transformers
1. Across the Universe

Tagline: All You Need is Love.
Directed by: Julie Taymor
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, Martin Luther McCoy, T.V. Carpio, and a cameo by Bono
Music by: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, and Elliot Goldenthal
Released: September 14
Rated: PG-13, bordering on R (for brief scenes of nudity)
Awards: Nominated for Best Costume Design for the Academy Awards, Best Motion Picture in a Musical or Comedy for the Golden Globes, and Best Compilation Soundtrack for the Grammys.

Synopsis : A musical composed solely of Beatles' songs, Across the Universe tells a love story between Brit dock worker, Jude, and sheltered American girl, Lucy, set in the turbulent sixties. Also involved in the drama are Lucy's brother, Max, a singer named Sadie, a guitarist named Jojo, and the transient lesbian, Prudence.

Why it made my top ten: If you know me at all, you would have seen this coming. I am, and have been since middle school, a die-hard Beatles lover. Taymor has taken 34 (34!!!!) Beatles songs and incorporated them into a visually stunning love story set during the time the Beatles were most prolifically writing and making an impact on the world. You can tell this film spared no expense (and went horrifically over-budget) with the gorgeous costumes, amazing sets, and breathtaking CGI choreography. While I do have a few complaints (like how they produced "For the Benefit of Mr. Kite" and "Happiness is a Warm Gun") overall, I can't say enough about how wonderful this movie is. They've taken classic songs and reworked them into different musical styles, bringing a new perspective. "With a Little Help From my Friends" becomes a Queen inspired rock song, "Oh! Darling" is a ranting break-up ballad, and "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" is transformed into a powerful political statement. Even if you don't like the Beatles, if you've lived any amount of time in the society of America, you're familiar enough with them and their music to appreciate this movie and what it's done with their music. This could have been a mediocre musical based on a legendary musical group...or it could have been a stereotypical love story set in a time when the world was changing and there were difficulties to be faced and growing up was hard (when is that NOT happening?) But when Taymor allowed the two to collide, she created something stupendous. There was no question what movie was going to take the top spot this year for me.

Favorite scenes: Hey, Jude (of course), With a Little Help From My Friends, I've Just Seen a Face, Come Together, Dear Prudence, and Blackbird. (The chapters of this movie on the DVD are broken up into songs.)

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
5.) Zodiac
4.) Hot Fuzz
3.) No Country For Old Men
2.) Transformers
1.) Once
Director: John Carney
Written by: John Carney
Starring: Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova
Music by: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Released: May 16, 2007
Rated: R (For Language)
Awards: A ton of awards (see them here), numerous top ten lists (not only my own), and a VERY well deserved Oscar for the song "Falling Slowly" - that song (and Marketa Irglova's acceptance speech) was easily the highlight of the night.

Dreams, aspirations, hope - these things have been whored out by the film industry so entirely that they're now nothing more than plot devices that are used to manipulate our emotions. While we're children, we're taught to dream. We're told that magical lands that are just on the other side of a wardrobe, that the scrappy untalented team beats the reigning champions, that the homeless puppy will find a happy home, that the ugly outcast will find love and acceptance.

Then, somewhere along the way, we're told otherwise.

The situations and characters we now see in films are so often nothing more than gross caricatures. Inspiration, hope, and happiness found through satisfaction have become something frightening - unrealistic. Movies that celebrate these simple things become guilty pleasures - films that we turn to when our day needs to be brightened up, when we feel sick, or when we're going through rough times. Films that celebrate these things generally aren't considered good. Fun, maybe, but never truly great.

And then there's Once.

There's no huge, epic storyline. No huge record contract at stake, no "guy wins the girl's heart", no giant evil corporate company.

It's about a guy. He's had his heart broken, and he's going nowhere. He works in a vacuum repair shop by day, plays his guitar at night. He's broken, and shattered, and isn't all that interested in picking up the pieces and moving on.

Until he meets a girl. She likes his music, she's funny, she's talented, and she's broken too.

So she helps him move on. They write music, they both heal each other, and they aren't as broken as they used to be. Through each other, and each other's music, they're able to find inspiration, strength, and hope.

That's it. And it is utterly and astonishingly beautiful. I love this move so, so much and I couldn't recommend it more. It's not big, and it won't change your world.

But.

It will uplift your spirits, make you smile, and give you hope. And that's so very very much worth celebrating.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part NINE! (The penultimate entry in which we both geek out over giant robots)

2008-02-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, we're really truly going to finish this off. I'm as surprised as you are.

sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons
7. Mr. Bean's Holiday
6. Beowulf
5. Ratatouille
4. Stardust
3. Hot Fuzz
2. Transformers

Tagline: Their War. Our World.
Directed by: Michael Bay
Written by: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, John Rogers
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, John Voight, Rachael Taylor, Anthony Anderson, Tyrese Gibson, Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving
Music by: Steve Jablonsky
Released: July 3
Rated: PG-13
Awards: It's been nominated for 23 awards, mostly in sound and visual effects. But Jon Voight was nominated for his FOURTH Razzie award for his role in this film.

Synopsis : The earth is stuck in the middle of a war being fought between two sides of giant sentient robots from outer space. Sam Witwicky, an American geeky teen, finds himself a main focus of the Decepticons - the "evil" robots - when he purchases an Autobot named Bumblebee as his first car and then realizes he holds the key to finding a powerful relic of the Robot Homeworld - the Allspark.

Why it made my top ten: I was not one of those kids who watched this television show regularly, like my husband. I was a girl...and raised in a pretty strict Christian home. We watched the Donut Man. So when I heard they were making a Transformers movie, most of my enthusiasm was gained through osmosis from my husband's excitement, and because it was starring LaBeouf - who is the "It" boy in Hollywood nowadays. I went to a midnight showing mainly to hang out with my brother, his friends, and my husband, and I was completely blown away. While the acting could've come across as campy and they could have completely done away with a plot and still made millions...they did neither. All of the actors in their respective roles carried the movie, whether their character was a robot or a human. Hugo Weaving is definitely one of the most under-recognized and multi-talented actors of our time. From the Matrix to Lord of the Rings to V for Vendetta to Transformers, the man becomes his character so flawlessly that you barely recognize him as himself in each role. LaBeouf pulls off the unfortunate type-casting with style, as an awkward teenager dealing with the throes of hormonal crushing on his co-star, the gorgeous Megan Fox, and also coming to terms with the fact that yes there are aliens. And his car is one of them.

Also, enough cannot be said about the impressive visual effects in this movie. The Robots' rendering may have pissed off a few die-hard fans with the changes they made away from the original series, but I have no complaints. They were totally robotic, yet totally emotional - you could read their completely alien body language and facial expression and tone of voice. Plus...they just flat out rocked when they transformed and fought. If anything, watch this movie for the special effects, you won't be disappointed.

Favorite scenes: Optimus Prime and a decepticon fighting it out on a series of freeway overpasses. Also, Starscream. Anything with Starscream.

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
5.) Zodiac
4.) Hot Fuzz
3.) No Country For Old Men
2.) Transformers
Director: Michael Bay
Written by: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and John Rogers
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, and General Motors
Music by: Steve Jablonsky
Released: July 2, 2007
Rated: PG-13 (for awesomeness)
Awards: Look, it's gotten a ton of special effects nominations and awards, and rightfully so. It's also received a Saturn nomination for best Sci Fi film, and it's received the "Jason Meaden Award for Overall Awesomeness that is Beyond Belief." It's a very prestigious award.

Why I Love It So Much

I didn't watch much television as a child - my Mom generally encouraged us to read, play outside, and, in her words, "use our imagination". However, there were two shows that I did watch regularly - G.I. Joe and Transformers. The reason these shows were an exception to the "tv is bad" rule was simple - my Dad loved them as much as I did. We'd both happily plop down in front of the television to see what our favorite characters were up to. Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Starscream - these weren't just cheap creations made to sell toys. At least, not to me. These were wondrous amazing characters that were instrumental in the growth of my imagination. There's just something about giant robots that turn into everyday things that is beyond awesome to a small boy. I mean, you have things like trucks and cars and jet planes, which are already awesome, and then they turned into alien robots bent on destroying / protecting the world.

As a young boy, it does not get better than that. Ever.

And so we watched Transformers. It was time that my Dad and I shared, and afterward we'd happily break out the small army of Transformers toys that I owned and take our favorite characters on new adventures sprung from the depths of my childhood imagination.

A full twenty years later, I was nervous as I made my way to the theater to catch the midnight showing of Transformers. I'm by no means a purist - I didn't really care what they did with the characters, I just wanted it to be fun without insulting my intelligence. Thoughts flew through my head - would it suck? Would it be too serious? Not serious enough? Would everything look real? And the big one - am I too old for all this?

Turns out, this movie was the perfect realization of every single daydream I had as a child. I don't think I've ever had as much as I did that night - I was a kid again, and I was having a blast. I love this film without reservation, and I will argue it's worth and quality with anyone who dares to suggest otherwise.

Why You'll Love It, Too

I'm not sure how to do this without shifting into full-on geek-out mode, but listen - there is a reason that both my wife and I picked this as our number two film. It is good. Better than it deserves, actually - not since I first saw a T-Rex come to life in Jurassic Park has there been such an amazing portrayal of something that is utterly beyond anything we'll ever see in "real life." Nearly everything in this film is photo realistic, and you'll find yourself completely won over by these very awesome robots. You'll have a huge, giant smile on your face, and it will not leave. Starscream jumping from fighter jet to fighter jet over a city skyline, Optimus battling a Decepticon while bouncing off of freeway overpasses, cars and busses being demolished during a freeway chase scene, a Decepticon tossing a freaking tank as it attacks a US military base - it's beyond awesome. I mean this. It is not hyperbole. You need to see this on the biggest screen possible with the sound turned all the way up. At it's worst, it's a mindless fun action movie. At it's best?

Well, ask any kid - it's the sort of thing that all of your very best childhood dreams are made of.

Oscar Chances: It will win in the best special effects category. Unless all of the voters were on crack.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part EIGHT! (In which we discuss films with a rather shockingly high amount of violence)

2008-02-07T23:47:00.000-08:00

Yes. Still alive.

sarah

10.) Wild Hogs
9.) Surf's Up
8.) Meet the Robinsons
7.) Mr. Bean's Holiday
6.) Beowulf
5.) Ratatouille
4.) Stardust
3.) Hot Fuzz

Tagline: Big Cops. Small Town. Moderate Violence
Directed by: Edgar Wright
Written by: Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton,
Music by: David Arnold
Released: Feb 14 in Britain and Ireland, and March 14 in the U.S.
Rated: R, and rightly so
Awards: Best Comedy in the UK National Movie Awards

Synopsis : When top bobby Nicholas Angel is transferred to a small town by jealous colleagues, he anticipates a boring future. He is disgusted by the apparent laxity of the small town police force, who seem more interested in drinking and eating than cracking down on small misdemeanors such as underage drinking. But when a series of brutal accidents occurs, Angel and his new friend, Danny Butterman, have trouble convincing the constable that the accidents are actually murders in a cover up plot.

Why it made my top ten: The complete insanity of humor that this movie is made of. It draws from nearly every action or cop movie you can think of. While there is excessive over the top violence and swearing (it's a British film, they don't really give a second thought to profanity compared to the US) it is exceedingly funny and at times sweet. I love the character of Danny - he's the perfect blend of innocence and dark comedy. You never know quite what's going to happen next, who is going to die or how they're going to be killed. And throughout it all, I was rollicking with laughter.

Favorite scenes: The fence chase scene, the interview of the man with the hedges, and Officer Angel riding the horse.

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
5.) Zodiac
4.) Hot Fuzz
3.) No Country For Old Men
Director: Ethan and Joel Coen
Written by: Ethan and Joel Coen
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, and Kelly McDonald Released: November 21st, 2007
Rated: R for strong graphic violence and some language

Awards: Every stinking award under the sun. Seriously. Check it out.

Why I Love It So Much

Once in a while, you see a film that is an utter masterpiece on every single possible level.

This is one of those films.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Coen brothers are back. And not only back - No Country for Old Men is, perhaps, their best film yet. A gripping portrayal of greed, violence, evil, justice, and America, No Country for Old Men is about as perfect as a film can ever be. This film will clean up come Oscar time, and it deserves it.

Why You'll Love It, Too

Because you guys are smart enough not to say "I don't get it" afterwards. And, because it's funnier than you'd expect - there's some subtle, dark humor here, and it's ok to laugh. It's fascinating, with dialog that is pure Coen brothers. It's gorgeous, moving, and impressive. In terms of quality, it's easily the best film I've seen this year. It's jaw droppingly good, and will be remembered for all of time as an absolute classic.

Oscar Chances:

Gold. The only question now is this - how many Oscars will it get?

our favorite films of the year 2007, part SEVEN! (In which we discuss films that include a plethora of brilliant British accents!)

2008-01-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

AGAIN with the themed choices - today? British film day. And I have to quickly say, that "Stardust" is absolutely awesome, and after watching it again the other day and I'm absolutely devastated that it didn't make my list. Any other year, I swear, and it'd be here. Sarah does a good job of talking about it, but let me quick say this - it is the rare film that starts off being just "ok" and gets progressively better until it's gloriously awesome ending. Seriously. Good stuff.

sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons
7. Mr. Bean's Holiday
6. Beowulf
5. Ratatouille
4. Stardust

Tagline: This summer a star falls. The chase begins.
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Written by: Neil Gaiman, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn,
Starring: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Mark Strong, Robert De Niro, Sienna Miller, and Ian McKellan
Music by: Ilan Eshkeri
Released: August 10
Rated: PG-13
Awards: The only award it was nominated for and won is the Phoenix Film Critics Award for Most Overlooked Film.

Synopsis : Tristan Thorne is in love with the town beauty, Victoria. He is the son of a man from their hometown of Wall and a mysterious woman from over the wall in the land of Fairy and he can't seem to do anything right. When Tristan and Victoria see a shooting star land over the wall, Tristan promises to give it to Victoria for her birthday if she promises to marry him. He then sneaks over the wall in pursuit of the star, which is actually a girl. Meanwhile, several princes from the Fairy land of Stormhold are also in pursuit of the star, named Ygraine, because she bears the necklace that will enable them to claim the throne. And finally, a witch is seeking Ygraine so she can eat her heart and gain back her lost youth.

Why it made my top ten: I like fairy tales, and I like Neil Gaiman. I also like most of the actors/actresses in this film and I thought it was told well, despite the fact it doesn't faithfully follow the plot. It's been Hollywood-ized, but still keeps the taste of the story. Tristan is an entirely lovable character, with his determination to find love and his bumbling antics at the start of the story. The magical world of Stormhold is lovingly created and feels utterly real, complete with lightning pirates, witches, magical flowers, and crazy princes. This isn't a movie for young children, as there are gay jokes and several battle scenes which could scare them, plus several animals are killed violently. And an evil witch...who is actually evil and who is played to perfection by Michelle Pfeiffer. But overall, this is a wonderful fairy tale for grown ups, which is how I think Gaiman originally intended for it to be.

Favorite scenes: The scenes with Ferdy the Fence (Ricky Gervais) and anything involving the dead princes.

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
5.) Zodiac
4.) Hot Fuzz
Director: Edgar Wright
Written by: Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton, Paddy Considine, Edward Woodward, and Billie Whitelaw
Music by: David Arnold
Released: April 20, 2007
Rated: Rated R for violent content including some graphic images, and language.

Awards: It won "Best Comedy" in the National UK Film Awards, and it's on numerous "top ten" lists.

Why I Love It So Much

Sean of the Dead is a tough act to follow. (If you haven't seen it, add it to your Netflix queue right away. I mean it!) It's clear that the trio of Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost have considerable amounts of talent - Sean of the Dead actually works as a zombie film, a comedy, and a romantic comedy all at the same time. It never devolved into a spoof, never has a moment that feels disingenuous, and never ceases to be fun. With Hot Fuzz, they've set their sights on a new genre - the buddy / cop action movie.

And oh man, have they brought the awesome all over again. This, like Sean of the Dead before it, isn't a spoof. Yes, it's a funny, funny film, but it's not meant to be mocking. If anything, it's a roast - a love letter to the action genre that celebrates it's ridiculous excesses, calling cards, and cliches while never ever being mean spirited.

They tease because they love. And man oh man, does it show..

Why You'll Love It, Too

Because it's brilliantly funny, and perfectly made. If you like action films, this is an absolute must-see. I'll now watch anything made by these guys, and I can't wait to see what they come up with next.

Oscar Chances:
No nominations here - It's a British action / comedy film.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part SIX (Yes! We continue on! In this edition? Rats and serial killers!)

2008-01-22T23:02:00.000-08:00

The final five - and yes, we continue on. I'm still plodding along, determined actually finish the list this year. Not that anyone is actually *reading* this silly list...

sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons
7. Mr. Bean's Holiday
6. Beowulf
5. Ratatouille
Tagline: He's Dying to Become a Chef.
Directed by: Brad Bird and Jan Pinkava
Written by: Brad Bird, Jim Capobianco, and Jan Pinkava
Starring: Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Ian Holm, Brad Garrett, Janeane Garofalo, Peter O'Toole,
Music by: Michael Giacchino
Released: June 29
Rated: G
Awards: It won the Golden Globe for Best Animated Film and won several other awards in other ceremonies for the same category.
Synopsis: A rat named Remy who dreams of cooking and becoming a chef is shocked to find out his idolized Chef Gusteau, has died. When separated from his family, Remy befriends a young man named Linguini who cannot cook but is employed in the late Chef Gusteau's restaurant. The pair learn to cook alongside the other chefs and work to evade the head chef, Skinner, who is up to no good.

Why it made my top ten: Because only Pixar could take a rat, and make it a cooking hero. Remy is adorable and humorous in his attempts to cook, and then while teaching Linguini to cook. The other chefs are entertaining as well, and Skinner plays the perfect Napolean-esque villain. The movie is clean, even if there are rats in the kitchen (haha), and suitable for any age. It gently pokes fun at the people of Paris while praising their qualities, and also includes some jabs at highbrow critics. There are several subplots going on behind the scenes, yet none of them interfere with the main story but only serve to make it richer. And while the end is happy (it IS a Disney film) it's not quite what you would expect.

Favorite scenes: Remy running along the roofs of Paris soon after he arrives and the various scenes of Paris life shown

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
5.) Zodiac
Director: David Fincher
Written by: Robert Graysmith and James Vanderbilt (based on the book written by Robert Graysmith)
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downing Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Brian Cox, Chloe Sevigny
Music by: David Shire
Released: March 2, 2007
Rated: R for some strong killings, language, drug material and brief sexual images

Awards: Nominated for the Golden Palm at the Cannes Film Festival, nominated for "Best Director" and "Best Adapted Screenplay" by the Chicago Film Critics Association, Nominated for "Director of the Year" and "Film of the Year" in the London Critics Circle Film Awards, and nominated for "Best Adapted Screenplay" by the Writers Guild of America

Why I Love It So Much

It's official - David Fincher is one of the finest directors working today. Even his "bad" films (Alien3, Panic Room), are pretty dang good. The Game is an absolute (and severely underrated) blast, and Se7en and Fight Club are genuine masterpieces. So, when I say that Zodiac outshines them all...

That's high praise. And there's no reason to shy away - this isn't a dark and twisted serial killer film, like Se7en was. Zodiac is a complete stunner of a film that focuses not on the killer, nor the law enforcement hunting the killer, but everday (real life) people who tried their best to make sense of something horrible, people who are aching for closure. It's so real that it could almost be called a documentary - it's about real life people, people you can related to and understand. Fincher does away with his flashy "zoom through the landscape" camera moves, and adapts a more timeless (but no less impressive) style that recalls the earlier films of Spielberg. It "feels" like it's from the time period it's portraying without ever coming across as old or obsolete, and that's a tricky thing to achieve.

This isn't a film that feels cold or impersonal. It's vibrant, with expert work being delivered from all involved. It's utterly fascinating, and so good that I actually forgot I was watching a film the first time I saw it. I was utterly engrossed, and absolutely thrilled to be watching that could only be called art of the highest degree.

Why You'll Love It, Too

It needs to be said - this is *not* a horror film. It's not even a thriller. The closest thing I can think of when trying to classify it is "period film" - it's about everyday people doing everything in their power to make sense of something that's beyond their reach. For some reason or another, they decided this wasn't something they could just let go of. And in a time and place where serial killers were still something rare and a killer engaging the press and the public was something that was practically unthinkable (and unheard of), these people decided to not be afraid. They paid a price for this, but that doesn't make their endeavors anything less than extraordinary. It's a fascinating, incredibly enthralling story, and shouldn't be missed under any circumstances.

Oscar Chances:

Nope - no nominations for Zodiac. It was released way too early in the year to ever have a chance.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part FIVE! (in which the competition heats up, and the quality of the films chosen become shockingly intense!)

2008-01-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

(also? half-way mark, people!)

From here on out, it's all great stuff. That's not to downplay what's been chosen - but coming up? Awesome, awesome stuff. Stuff so good that in ANY OTHER YEAR they'd be the number one film. Yup. They're that good. Also? We continue with our oddly themed choices - today? Books into film.

sarah

10.) Wild Hogs
9.) Surf's Up
8.) Meet the Robinsons
7.) Mr Bean's Holiday
8.) Beowulf
Tagline: Pride is the curse.
Directed by: Robert Zemeckis
Written by: Neil Gaiman, Roger Avary, and whoever wrote the original epic poem
Starring: Ray Winstone, Robin Wright Penn, Brendan Gleeson, Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Anthony Hopkins, Crispin Glover, Alison Lohman
Music by: Alan Silvestri
Released: November 16
Rated: PG-13, but trust me, it should have been R
Awards: Nominated for 5 awards, in four separate Award Sets
Synopsis: A legendary warrior named Beowulf is hired to kill the monster named Grendel, who is terrorizing a small village. He then becomes king and finds himself embroiled in a moral struggle with Grendel's demon mother.

Why it made my top ten: I don't really care for the story of Beowulf. It's been years since I read it (or parts of it), and I didn't think anything would induce me to enjoy it again. This movie changed that. They took a work of literature that should be recognized as great and put it into a medium that the masses will understand and enjoy. And they did it with finesse. The story itself is changed and mashed together, but still rings true to the original poem. I was highly impressed that Grendel himself spoke in Old English. The action is well-performed and played, despite the fact it's animated. And the animation itself is spectacular. Not quite as good as "300" but still way above par. I think many people who are unfamiliar with Beowulf will be shocked with the violence and sex and other questionable aspects of the story, but it only proves that what entertained back when Beowulf was first told hasn't changed much in appealing to the human nature of being entertained - we're entertained by sex and violence and the downfall of those in leadership positions. Overall, this is a great new chapter in the developing telling of Beowulf.

Favorite scenes: The fight with the dragon in its entirety.

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across the Universe
6.) Into the Wild
Director: Sean Penn
Written by: Jon Krakauer, Sean Penn (Adapted from the book by the same name)
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Jena Malone, Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn, Kristen Stewart, Hal Holbrook
Music by: Michael Brook, Kaki King, and Eddie Vedder
Released: September 21, 2007
Rated: R for language and some nudity

Awards: It's been nominated for pretty much every award under the sun - go here or here to see lists of them all.

Why I Love It So Much

It's difficult to make a film that genuinely inspires - and I'm talking about actual inspiration, the kind that makes you actually want to change your life - and the way you live it. It's even more difficult to create a film that inspires you and fills you with joy while ripping your heart out at the same time.

This film is quite possibly the most sweetly inspiring and completely gut-wrenching movie I've ever seen.

For those that have yet to hear the incredible story that is the life of Christopher McCandless, "Into the Wild" is the true life story about an upper class young man who, upon graduating from college, decides to donate all his life savings to charity and strike out across the US on his own. At first, he has his car.

Until it gets swept away in a flash flood.

Anyone else would have gone on home, but Christopher? Not so much. He burns what little money he has left, and decides to leave his old life behind and start a new life as a hobo / hitchhiker named (and I am so not making this up) Alexander Supertramp. He then ambles all over the freaking US, encountering people who are immediately drawn to this bright young man and his incredible dream. All of them try to understand just why, exactly, he's doing this. And, slowly, throughout the movie, we begin to learn why. We hear from his parents, his sister, the people he encountered along the way - and you begin to see why he's left everything, and gone in search of something a little more real than what he's experienced so far.

And I'll admit it - I loved this film. There isn't a weak link to be seen - everything from the small character moments to the huge rolling vistas are nothing short of astonishing. We're witness to McCandles' life, and we get to see the beauty and wonder that drives him forward.

Why You'll Love It, Too

You are so not ready for this film. It's beautiful, harsh, moving, and inspiring - read the book it's based on, yes, but by all means - see this movie. You'll grow to love Christopher McCandless, even when he's making all the wrong choices.

Oscar Chances: Nominations are are pretty much a lock, at this point - expect nominations for at least a handful of the following - Best Actor (Emile Hirsch), Best Supporting Actor (Hal Holbrook), Best Supporting Actress (Catherine Keener), Best Song, Best Cinematography, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Directing, and Best Picture. It's going to clean up at the Oscars.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part four (in which we assure you that YES, we WILL be getting through all ten films! [God willing.])

2008-01-12T00:03:00.000-08:00

I will be truthful.

It's going a bit slower than I'd hoped...

...but it's still going. So that's good. Also, once again - not my wife's fault. *My* fault. Look! Reviews!

sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons
7. Mr. Bean's Holiday

Tagline: Disaster has a passport. (Alt: "Disaster is a small step away")
Directed by: Steve Bendelack
Written by: Simon McBurney, Hamish McColl, Robin Driscoll
Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Max Baldry, Emma de Caunes, and Willem Defoe
Music by: Howard Goodall
Released: August 24
Rated: G
Awards: None
Synopsis: Mr. Bean wins a trip to the beach at Cannes, France and sets off in his usual quirky style, armed with a digital video camera. Along the way, he inadvertently separates a son from his father, and the father happens to be someone famous. Now, accused of kidnapping, stripped of his passport and money, Mr. Bean must find a way to reunite the son and his father and make his way to Cannes to enjoy the rest of his holiday.

Why it made my top ten: I am a huge fan of Mr. Bean anything, and this is the best Mr. Bean show/movie I've seen as of yet. All the quirky awkwardness and play between good and bad luck is polished to perfection in this film. The side characters are wonderfully constructed, despite the fact they speak in mostly French and require subtitles. Mr. Bean is truly in his (uncomfortable) element in traveling to a country where he can't understand a word they're saying other than "yes" or "no." The countryside of France is beautifully shown, along with many sides of the country you wouldn't normally be privy to. Plus, you get a bit of an inside look at the Cannes film festival...and even more inspiring...Mr. Bean's mind.

Favorite scenes: Mr. Bean getting coffee on the train, the scene at the French restaurant, and the deleted scene of Mr. Bean stealing someone else's ticket.

jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.) Ratatouille
7.) Across The Universe
Director: Julie Taymor
Written by: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, Martin Luthor McCoy, T.V. Carpio
Music by: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, T Bone Burnett (Modern arrangement) and Elliot Goldenthal (Modern score)
Released: October 12, 2007
Rated: PG-13 for drug content, nudity, sexuality, violence and language. It's a heavy PG-13 rating, though - there's quite a bit of nudity and sexuality, including a topless Evan Rachel Wood. In other words, not for the young ones.

Awards: A Golden Globe nomination for "Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy", a Grammy nomination for best compilation soundtrack, and a few various nominations for its cinematography and set design. (Both of which are incredible.)

Why I Love It So Much

If you're going to make a musical comprised solely of Beatles music, you can't be half-hearted about it. Luckily, this film is the direct anti-thesis of half-hearted - it has so much energy and creativity that it's nearly bursting at the seams. Even when it goes over the top, or misses the mark (the entire "Mr Kite" scene comes to mind), it's still gorgeous to look at (and listen to).

It's not so much a musical as it is a snapshot of that particular time period as told through the lens of Beatles music - it might not seem like much of a distinction, but it makes a world of difference. Sometimes the songs are reworked (for instance - "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" is completely transformed into an awesome slow song of longing that includes a football team practice turning into a near ballet in slow motion. It sounds dumb, but it's very very cool) - and sometimes the songs stay remarkably faithful. By setting these Beatles songs against the lives of the characters, the songs often come to life in ways you've never seen before.

True, it's a tad too long, the entire drug trip / circus sequence is rather frightening, and the first half is a little better than the second half - but even at it's worst, this is a film that's very, very easy to fall in love with, and very highly recommended to everyone except elitist hipsters (who don't like anything anyways) and people who hate Beatles music (who have crap taste anyways).

Why You'll Love It, Too

The very talented (and unsurprisingly pretty) cast is nothing short of astonishing. Evan Rachel Wood and Jim Sturgess are both wonderful as the star-struck couple around whom the central storyline orbits. While both are good here, it's Jim Sturgess who's the most surprising - he's the heart and soul of the movie, and the quality of his voice counts as the most impressive happy surprise since Ewan McGregor first opening his mouth to belt out the opening of "Your Song" in Moulin Rouge. Everyone else in the film is extraordinary also - in fact, extraordinary is a great way to describe the film as a whole. It's gorgeous, moving, breathtaking, utterly captivating, and beautiful, and very, very, very good.

Oscar Chances: High - a best picture nomination is out of the question, but a nomination for one of the technical categories (Cinematography, costume and set design, etc) is about as likely as it could be without quite yet a sure thing.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part three (in which I shockingly add a family friendly film to my list, and Sarah continues to rock)

2008-01-09T00:03:00.000-08:00

Special family-friendly edition!

sarah's choices:

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up
8. Meet the Robinsons

Tagline: If you think your family's different, wait till you meet the family of the future.
Directed by: Stephen J. Anderson
Written by: Stephen J. Anderson, Jon Bernstein, Nathan Greno, Don Hall, Joe Mateo, Aurian Redson, and William Joyce (the book)
Starring: Daniel Hansen, Jordan Fry, Matthew Josten, Paul Butcher, Wesley Singerman, Stephen J. Anderson, Harland Williams, and Adam West
Music by: Danny Elfman
Released: March 30
Rated: G
Awards: None
Synopsis: A young orphan boy, named Lewis, is somewhat of a science genius and is obsessed with finding out who his mother was and why she abandoned him. At a science fair, he is confronted by a boy named Wilbur, who claims to be a time cop and wants to protect Lewis's science fair invention. A strange man in a bowler hat manages to steal the project and Lewis and Wilbur must work together, in the future and in the present, to save both themselves and their own futures.

Why it made my top ten: It's just another magical Disney movie. Yes, it was predictable in plot. Yes, there were silly scenes and rather obvious twists. But it still was a wonderful movie which emphasized the importance of family and bonds between family members, no matter how weird you might think they are. The bad guy in the film is possibly the funniest character of the whole cast, although he was grossly misrepresented in the previews. The movie has a cheerful, clean, optimistic quality to it, drawing from some of the odd and hopeful views the 50's used to take on the year 2000. There are flying cars in the future, as well as buildings you can build in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the time machines. Bubbles are the main mode of transportation - which I never saw in any of those cheesy 50's shorts, but I digress. Lewis is a heartwarming character who is written superbly as a young boy feeling abandoned but working with his strengths to solve the problem. His roommate, Goob, is one of my favorite characters in any of the newer Disney films. This movie, as I said, is squeaky clean and extremely family friendly. I highly recommend it. I only wish I could have seen it in 3-D.

Favorite scenes: Goob at almost any point in the movie, the scenes with Tiny the dinosaur, the singing frogs

jason's choices

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
8.)Ratatouille
Director: Brad Bird and Jan Pinkava
Written by: Brad Bird
Starring: Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Peter Sohn, Brad Garrett, Janeane Garofalo, Ian Holm, Brain Dennehy, and Peter O'Toole
Music by: Michael Giacchino
Released: June 29, 2007
Rated: G
Awards: A whole crapload of Annie Awards (the animation awards), a ton of "top ten" choices, even more picks for "best animated film", a Golden Globe nomination, and it'll definitely be nominated for an Oscar. As if that's not enough, it's also one of the best reviewed films of the year.

Why I Love It So Much

Is it possible to explicitly flip off the entire critic industry in a G rated comedy while still being heart-warming, humorous, charming, and inspiring?

Apparently so.

Make no mistake - "Ratatouille" viciously rips apart anyone who shows even an inkling of critical snobbery. It takes explicit aim at the most horrific kind of elitism present - the kind that's usually only found in film critics, food critics, and high school teenagers. I'm not exactly sure where Brad Bird came up with this aggression, since every single one of his films have been critically adored. It's not like he has anything he needs to defend. And it's not like he has to defend Pixar's films, either. (When "Cars" is generally considered the least of your films, you're in pretty good shape.) Regardless, "Ratatouille" is nothing short of marvelous. Pixar's technical game has ever been higher and the storyline and characters, as usual, are every bit as wonderful as you dared to hope for. Pixar has hit another home run, but is that really all that surprising?

Why You'll Love It, Too

Remy (the rat) is funny, clever, and yes - cute. True, the film never completely overcomes the "ick" factor that's so inherent to it's premise, but that's kind of the point. The film is also completely appropriate for all ages - nothing at all to object about here, and it'll keep the kids smiling, the teens laughing, and the adults thinking. It's also gorgeous - Paris looks better here than it does in real life. (Not to hard, in all honesty, but still.)

And there are the million and three little things that make the film seem so real - the way the food looks, the way you can see Remy's heart frantically beating when he's scared, or the creative way that the film is able to show what the food "tastes" like through shapes, colors, and music. It's an utterly brilliant film that works as both a simple pleasure and a work of substance. It is, however, rather disheartening as well. After watching it, you'll end up wanting to go out for a fine meal someplace - but you'll most likely settle for a chain restaurant. Go America!

Oscar Chances: High - this film will definitely be nominated for "Best Animated Feature," and I wouldn't be surprised if it won.

our favorite films of the year 2007, part two (in which our exciting choices for number nine is revealed!)

2008-01-07T22:30:00.000-08:00

Our picks for the film number nine can be found below. I think, at this point, it's important to make a distinction - these are our *favorite* films from 2007, and not necessarily *the best* films from 2007. These are films we will happily watch again at some point - films that we may even watch often. A film can be utterly brilliant, it may blow us away completely, but that doesn't mean we like it. And yes, this may blow what little credibility we have, but so what? If you want the high-minded opinion of a critic there are hundreds of other top ten lists out there.

These films? We like them. A lot.

Sarah

10. Wild Hogs
9. Surf's Up

Tagline : A Major Ocean Picture.

Directed by: Ash Brannon, Chris Buck
Written by: Don Rhymer, Chris Buck, Ash Brannon, Christopher Jenkins, and Christian Darren
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Jeff Bridges, Zooey Deschanel, Jon Heder, James, Woods, and Diedrich Bader
Music by: Mychael Danna
Released: June 8
Rated: PG
Awards: Nominated for 10 Annie Awards, including Best Animated Feature

Synopsis: A young surfer penguin from Antarctica finds his way to the fabled Pengoo Island - host of the annual "Big Z" Memorial Surfing Competition. The young penguin meets new friends along the way as he tries to emulate Big Z, who is is his hero.

Why it made my Top Ten: It's cute and funny, plus has great acting talent. LaBeouf is pretty much movie gold at this point - no matter what you throw that guy in, you know it'll be great. He does a wonderful job portraying the knocked about and underdog surfer, and plays perfectly beside Zooey Deschanel and Jon Heder. While the storyline is fairly predictable, that doesn't stop it from being great. Plus, the fact that it's an animated film made in the style of a documentary had me very intrigued. It's exactly like a documentary. There are shaky camera shots, voices behind the camera, interviews, out of focus scenes, people posing for the camera in the background, you name it. While the film itself looks unassuming and possibly like a rip-off of "Happy Feet," it instead keeps you smiling through the entire thing. I found myself laughing at everything - from the hilarious Chicken Joe and his "hot tub friends," to Arnold and the other tiny penguin beginner surfers. This film definitely makes my "wouldn't mind owning" list.

Favorite scenes: anything with the little penguins in it - anything.

Jason

10.) Knocked Up
9.) Death Proof
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Written by: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Kurt Russell, Rosario Dawson, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Sydney Poitier, Tracie Thoms, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rose McGowan, and the amazing and ever-asonishing Zoe Bell
Music by: No soundtrack - music for the film was chosen by Quentin Tarantino
Released: April 6th, 2007
Rated: R - lotsa violence, lotsa language. It's a Tarantino film - what did you expect? (Current dvd release is technically "unrated", but is still well within the R rating.)
Awards: None that I'm aware of.

Why I Love It So Much

Yes - I split this film from it's counterpart, the incredibly fun "Planet Terror." It deserves far more than the "grindhouse" designation that doomed its box office run earlier this year. This isn't a mindless rehash of the horror films from the "good 'ole days" - it's a vicious condemnation of the misogyny that infests today's horror films, the films where women are portrayed as poor victims, with just barely enough intelligence and ability to figure out they're in trouble, and scream, but rarely enough to save themselves. Tarantino has created the ultimate evil male stereotype in Stuntman Mike - he's a lecherous man who only looks at women as objects to be manipulated, toyed with, and destroyed. He's so horrific, in fact, that the first half of the film is genuinely hard to watch - the first set of girls never has a chance, and they're disposed of in a fashion that is impressively disturbing. You'll find yourself examining your own reactions to what you're watching, and you may not like what you're seeing.

I didn't.

And then the second group of girls comes in, and the tables turn. Make no mistake - this "film" is really two sets of situations, connected only by Stuntman Mike himself. The second half of the film starts with us meeting the second set of our would-be victims. This time, however, the tables are turned - and the girls are the ones who are calling the shots. And it is awesome.

Why You'll Love It, Too

Zoe Bell is beyond awesome. It's said that Quentin Tarantino wrote this film specifically for her, and it shows. She's fun, funny, and flat-out amazing - the stunts she does in this film are nothing short of jaw dropping. Also, the entire final third section of the film is a giant car chase that is utterly breathtaking. It's scary, funny, thrilling, and a really great film in it's own right. And really - Zoe Bell is freaking amazing. You need to see this film!

Oscar Chances:

No chance in hell.

#10!

2008-01-05T00:19:00.000-08:00

It (finally!) begins. My wife and I's top ten personal favorite films of 2007.

Sarah

Just for your pleasure, here's the list of all the movies which came out in 2007 that I've seen - once again:

Across the Universe
Beowulf
Blades of Glory
Death Proof
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Hairspray
Happily N'ever After
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hot Fuzz
Hot Rod
Knocked Up
Live Free or Die Hard
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Oceans 13
Paris je T'aime
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End
Ratatouille
Shrek the Third
Spiderman 3
Stardust
Superbad
Transformers
Waitress
Wild Hogs

So here we are.

10.) Wild Hogs

Tagline: A Lot Can Happen on the Road to Nowhere.

Starring: Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, William H. Macy, Ray Liotta, and Marisa Tomei

Released: March 2

Awards nominated/won: Nominated for Favorite Movie Comedy in the People's Choice Awards

Synopsis: Four friends who regularly ride their Harleys together take a road trip to declare their manhood. They tangle with a very gay state trooper, find themselves fighting the elements, and engage in war with a motorcycle gang called the "Del Fuegos."

Why it made my Top Ten: They say a lot of times that who you watch a film with makes a big difference. And it's true. That difference is what allowed this film to screech into the last place of my top ten. I first watched it with some family friends who are into motorcycles and who love to laugh; which made it a highly enjoyable movie watching experience. And from then on (through my 4 viewings of the movie) it just got funnier. It's a fairly clean movie, apart from the references to homosexuality, and plays serious actors (Travolta and Macy) off of stand-up comedians (Allen and Lawrence). The four men each represent some of the main problems guys could have in a mid-life crisis. One man is facing a divorce and bankruptcy, one has romance problems, one feels disrespected in his profession and at home, and one feels dominated by his wife. Each character may be a stereotype, but that doesn't keep them from being hilarious. And the cameos by certain actors and actresses really top the pot. Plus, Macy's character of Dudley will win your heart in the first 15 minutes of the film.

Favorite Scenes: Doug eating the butter, Dudley's Tattoo

Jason

And, like Sarah, here's the list of films that my top ten will be drawn from - there are a few differences from my wife's list, because I was often times a loser and would see movies by myself.

300
Across the Universe
Beowulf
The Bourne Ultimatum
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Grindhouse (Death Proof / Planet Terror)
Hairspray
Happily N'Ever After
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hot Fuzz
Hot Rod
I Am Legend
Into the Wild
Knocked Up
Live Free or Die Hard
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Bean's Holiday
No Country for Old Men
Ocean’s 13
Once
Paris, je t'aime
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Ratatouille
Resident Evil: Extinction
Shrek the Third
Smokin' Aces
Spider-Man 3
Stardust
Superbad
Transformers
Waitress
Wild Hogs
Zodiac

10.) Knocked Up
Director: Judd Apatow
Written by: Judd Apatow
Starring: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd
Music by: Loudon Wainwright III
Released: June 1, 2007
Rated: R for sexual content, drug use, and language
Awards: Chosen by the American Film Institute as one of the 10 best films of 2007. Numerous other top ten lists.

Why I Love It So Much

Judd Apatow can do no wrong, in my book. Starting with the legendary "Freaks and Geeks," he's quickly (and rightfully) gained a reputation for crafting hilarious comedies with a surprising amount of depth and heart mixed with pitch-perfect characterization. The laughs are of often crude, but they never feel mean, cruel, or even tasteless. His characters have filthy mouths, but they're also always capable of greater things. Which, in essence, is what "Knocked Up" is about - finding something in life that's worth growing up for, and making the choices and sacrifices that it demands. The laughs come a mile a minute, ranging from subtle little moments (Rogen and Heigl's reactions in the waiting room comes to mind) to obvious pratfalls that end up being just shy of eye-rolling. Even when they're being stupid, the characters feel honest and real. Katherine Heigl proves that she deserves far greater than the crap they give her on "Grey's Anatomy" - she'd be smart to take a graceful exit from that show if they don't give her some better storylines, especially since her film career is about to blow up huge. (Mark my words - "27 Dresses" will make oodles of money.) She's wonderful in this film, handling the hardest role of the film (the grown up, responsible adult) well and making her character more than just the one note it could have been. She's fun, and has a great sense of humor. Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann are both brilliant as the "already married with kids" couple, and they're both amazing. Leslie Mann deserves particular kudos, since she's actually married to Judd Apatow - it's clear to see that many of the moments in this film come from very personal areas of Judd and Leslie's marriage, yet she's still able to find the perfect tone in every scene she's in.

And then there's comedic juggernaut that is Seth Rogen. Judd Apatow may very well have found a goldmine of comedic genius when he hired Seth for "Freaks and Geeks." Of course, that goes for pretty much everyone involved with Apatow - everyone who's been involved in his films becomes comedy gold - but with Seth he's found a great actor who can deliver laughs with any line, scene, or situation he's put in. He *is* the movie, and he handles both the emotional and the hysterical scenes with equal skill and talent.

Also? This film is also pretty dang funny. The kind of funny that hurts.

Why You'll Love It, Too

Earlier this year I called this film "the dirtiest pro-life movie ever made," and I stand by that. It's entirely pro-family, and pro-life, and pro-marriage. So much so, that it's a little shocking - you generally don't expect to get pro-family values from crude comedies. It's touching, sweet, and quite possibly funnier than anything else released this year. Seth Rogen is a brilliant genius, and he and Katherine Heigl have noticeable chemistry - their scenes together are often sweet, touchig, awkward, hilarious - all at the same time. If prolific swearing and crudity bothers you, you should probably pass - and this goes without saying, because the language in this film is horrific - but for everyone else this comes highly recommended.

Oscar Chances:
Low - it's not likely, but stranger things have happened.

Top Ten Films off 2007!

2008-01-01T20:05:00.001-08:00

...will start tomorrow. My wife and I just got back from visiting my family on the opposite side of the state, and we're exhausted.

That said, my top ten films will be taken from the following list:

300
Across the Universe
Beowulf
The Bourne Ultimatum
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Grindhouse (Death Proof / Planet Terror)
Hairspray
Happily N'Ever After
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hot Fuzz
Hot Rod
I Am Legend
Into the Wild
Knocked Up
Live Free or Die Hard
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Bean's Holiday
No Country for Old Men
Ocean’s 13
Once
Paris, je t'aime
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Ratatouille
Resident Evil: Extinction
Shrek the Third
Smokin' Aces
Spider-Man 3
Stardust
Superbad
Transformers
Waitress
Wild Hogs
Zodiac

If it isn't on this list, I wasn't able to catch it. Feel free to guess away!

Happy Christmas!

2007-12-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

I hope your Christmas day was gloriously fun, joyfully chaotic, and just plain wonderful all around. Happy Christmas!

movies galore

2007-12-18T22:02:00.000-08:00

list updated on 12/22

The end of the year is fast approaching - which means that it's almost time for my top ten films of the year list! Oh yes, I can hear the cheers from here. And, yes, it is starting to feel a little weird doing these top ten lists. I started back in college, I think, when I wrote one for our college newspaper. I just kept doing them, even though I'm pretty sure no one cares. I've been thinking a lot about exactly why I write so much about television and film. There are no quick answers, but the most obvious one is this - I love the format of film. (Ditto for television.) It's the rare artform that is created by a group of people, rather than one person. And when it works, there's nothing that can compare to it. Also, I love ideas - I'm a sucker for the themes and ideas behind things. Every story is telling another story underneath it - there are bits of "the" story, the story of all creation, in everything that's created. We recognize the truth, and we recognize the lie, whether we realize it or not. And sometimes, the entire film, television show, novel - whatever - sometimes it's so powerful, so resonant, that it echoes forth themes and truths that tie directly into our roles as human beings, how we live in this world that God created for us - and sometimes, it can even bring illumination to our relationship with our loved ones, or, to God. (Yeah, I went there.) Truth echoes forth, and it's there, and it's powerful. This is true in all stories - whether it be a painting, a work of music, a novel, a photograph - there's always an idea, a message that wants to break free. In film, you have the opportunity to have all these artforms working together at once to bring forth a feeling, a message, an idea. This is why I love film so much - when it works, it blows you away.

This, really, is why I write so much about film - it fascinates me, and I love it. I write top ten lists not because I really think that people care about what I think is good or not, but because I get to think about and dissect films that I love. So, all that said, prepare yourselves - come Jan 1st I'll be putting up the list. I'm not sure if I'll do it all at once, or one a day - we'll see how things go. I'm now trying frantically to fit in as many films that I can before the end of the year. (We've knocked four films off our "must see" list in the past week alone - go us!) Here are the films I *have* seen from this year, in alphabetical order (I might have forgotten some - I'll update it if I remember any more):

300
Across the Universe
Beowulf
The Bourne Ultimatum
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Grindhouse (Death Proof / Planet Terror)
Hairspray
Happily N'Ever After
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hot Fuzz
Hot Rod
I Am Legend
Into the Wild
Knocked Up
Live Free or Die Hard
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Bean's Holiday
No Country for Old Men
Ocean’s 13
Once
Paris, je t'aime
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Ratatouille
Resident Evil: Extinction
Smokin' Aces
Spider-Man 3
Stardust
Superbad
Transformers
Waitress
Wild Hogs
Zodiac

I'm pretty dang proud of this list - save for "Happily N'Ever After" (Netflixed, I assure you), there aren't any horribly awful films on the list - even the "lesser" films (Fantastic Four, Hot Rod, etc) had their good points. This year has been awesome for film - many have said that it's been the best year for film since 1999 (list of films released in 1999), and I think I'd agree. I haven't even seen most of the prestige films this year, but what I *have* seen blows any other year out of the water.

Speaking of films I haven't seen - here is a roughly prioritized list of films released this year that I still would like to check out. And yes, I realize there is no earthly way I'll be able to get through all of them. Also, the films with asterisks are the films that I will *not* be able to see before the end of the year - either they never came to Tri-Cities, or they were in-and-out of the theaters so fast that I didn't get a chance to see them. (Or, I just didn't make it to the theater to see it - see; "American Gangster.") Regardless, I missed my chance, and they won't be out on dvd until 2008. It's disappointing, but there's not much I can do about it. Anyways, this list is organized so that the films on the top are are the ones I'll be making an effort to see before the first of the year - the lower it is on the list, the less effort I'll make to check it out. We'll see how it goes. That said, it doesn't mean that I don't want to see the films towards the bottom of the list - it's just that I want to see the ones higher up a bit more. If I've missed a good film, or if you've seen a film on this list and thought it was really good, let me know in the comments. And on the same note, if you've seen a film on this list that was absolutely horrific, let me know and I'll move it further down (or take it off completely).

Atonement
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*
Juno
The Mist*
The Darjeeling Limited*
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Gone Baby Gone*
Walk Hard
There Will Be Blood
Lust, Caution*
Sunshine*
Shoot ‘Em Up*
American Gangster*
Nation Treasure: The Book of Secrets
28 Weeks Later
Bridge to Terabithia
Disturbia
The Golden Compass
Enchanted
3:10 to Yuma*
The Kingdom
The Simpsons Movie
Jane Austen Book Club
The Kite Runner
Charlie Wilson’s War
Bee Movie*
Sicko
Becoming Jane*
Talk to Me*
Eastern Promises*
In the Valley of Elah*
Dan in Real Life*
Music and Lyrics
Surf’s Up
The Brave One*
Hitman
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Feast of Love*
TMNT
The Lookout
The Hoax
PS, I Love You
Things We Lost In the Fire
Fracture
Interview
Amazing Grace
Martian Child*
Blades of Glory
Ghost Rider
Catch and Release
The Nanny Diaries*
Black Snake Moan
Southland Tales*
Shrek the Third
1408
The Ex
Next
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
War*
Primeval
Balls of Fury
Pathfinder
Rendition*
The Last Mimzy
Bug
The Astronaut Farmer
Breach

Go ahead - try and guess my top ten. Bet you'll be surprised. :)

Tragedy Averted

2007-12-12T22:53:00.000-08:00

I found a copy of Happy Christmas, Vol 1.

Christmas is saved!

thatoneguy reviews "Beowulf"

2007-12-12T22:37:00.000-08:00

It’s impossible to discuss “Beowulf” (the film) without first going back to epic poem that it’s based on. For those that know little about it, well, it’s really just a bare framework of a story. Beowulf, the epic hero, comes and rids the lands of Grendel, the monster. He confronts Grendel’s mother, returns with Grendel’s head, and dies while fighting a dragon many years later. The end. I doubt that many people would say that it’s the story that makes Beowulf so renowned. Rather, scholars generally point to the language and the glimpses of history and culture it gives as the reasons for its worth. In fact, most English scholars I know respect the epic tome, but don’t really enjoy it.

And then there was Tolkien. Yes – the same Tolkien who wrote “The Hobbit” and “Lord of the Rings.” Turns out, he absolutely loved Beowulf – so much, that he wrote his own translation of the freaking thing. (Sadly enough, the Tolkien estate has no current plans to release his translation – which, why on earth not? I'd read it. I mean, it has to be less boring than the Silmarillion... right?) He also delivered a series of papers and lectures on the thing, which *are* available for purchase. It turns out that Tolkien had a radically different look at the poem. He argued that looking at the language and culture of the poem wasn't the best method of approach. And he has a point – Beowulf had been passed down and retold so many times that it most assuredly bears only a passing resemblance to its original form. (Think of a 1,500 year old game of telephone, and you begin to get the picture.) Instead, he argued that we should look as what DID stay intact – the monsters. (I am, of course, paraphrasing and condensing mightily here. Tolkien was brilliant, but succinct he was not.)

Which - of course. No matter who’s telling the story, monsters stay the same. Our monsters reflect what we fear. (No joke – do you want a perfect glimpse of the fears of society throughout history? Look at horror movies and books. They’re all archetypes of the evil we fear at the time.) In particular, he compared the monsters in Beowulf to other portrayals of the same sort of monster from that time period. And, while Grendel’s mother is barely described at all in the poem, she *is* said to be a water spirit. And by looking at other portrayals of water spirits, we can see that a water spirit is often described as a representation of seductive evil – or, to put it more bluntly, it’s a physical description of the allure of sin. And if you immediately recognize Grendel’s mother as an archetype for the allure of sin, then the story has resonance. And it raises a lot of questions.

I think this is the approach that screen-writers Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery took with Beowulf. By looking at the monsters, the story begins to take shape. For instance: If Grendel’s mother (who’s never given a name) is a representation of sin, then what *really* happened when Beowulf went into the cave to confront her? Did he defeat her? Can you ever defeat sin on your own? Really?

This would explain why the confrontation with Grendel’s mother was omitted somewhere along the way – many of the scribes were Christian monks, and I really really doubt that they’d be enthusiastic about transcribing a huge tome about a man who fell to pride and succumbed to sin. Of course, no one can say for sure what this thing originally looked like, but it’s fascinating to say “..but what if...?”

And now, welcome to the 2007 film version of Beowulf, written by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery, directed by Robert Zemeckis, and portrayed in jaw dropping digital 3D. You have Zemeckis to thank for the blood spraying, bosom heaving, and object throwing that your eyes will be subjected to. And let me for a second emphasize that "blood spraying" part - I have no idea how this film got a PG-13. I think it got a pass simply because it's motion-captured CGI - it's "real," but not really. People are ripped apart, limbs thrown, bodies impaled - it's all great stuff, especially in 3D, but for the kids it is not. Early on, it's easy to imagine that you're in for "300"esque tale of male machismo and camaraderie, with all the sexual conquests, bloody battle scenes, and heroic speech making the genre implies. It's interesting, then, that the film abandons the "infallible hero-man" mindset and begins to show us that every hero - in the end - is just as fallible as you and I. And what's more, their mistakes have consequences, just as ours do. The film dares to ask some serious questions, and ends up having considerably more depth than you'd assume it to have.

The credit for this seems to fall largely on the shoulders of the guys who wrote the script - Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery. I say this because their fingerprints are all over this thing - those who are familiar with any of their bodies of work will find much to recognize here. Avery is well known for deconstructing pop culture and modern times, but Gaiman is an honest-to-goodness genius when it comes to deconstructing myths and fairie tales and then re-spinning them into something that A) you love, B) is completely new, and C) makes you love the original all the more. They're a great team, and I really hope they collaborate more in the future. My respect for them knows no bounds, even if I *am* beginning to get a bit disgusted at Gaiman. (Honestly. Is there anything he can't do? And does he have to do everything so well?)

But you don't care about that. You care about the 3D! And for the most part, it delivers. It's a little shaky towards the beginning - you catch yourself thinking, "Well, that looks neat, but it doesn't really look right." It's a bit distracting, but not enough to take you out of the film. However, somewhere along the way, it becomes nearly seamless - you stop thinking, "Wow, that's pretty neat in 3D" and you start thinking, "Holy crap, this is awesome!" You have monster fights in 3D, battle scenes in 3D, simulated nearly naked Angelina Jolie in 3D, and an epic dragon battle in 3D. It's well worth the cost of admission. In fact, if you see this film, you owe it to yourself to see it in 3D. It's awesome.

Incredible technical fortitude, blood-pumping action scenes, with depth and character running throughout? Yeah, I didn't believe the reviews at first, either. While it's certainly not a "feel-good" film, Beowulf delivers far more than I ever expected.

Help Needed. Badly.

2007-11-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

Everyone. Please. I need your help.

It is now the Christmas season. Snow is falling as we speak.

And I can not find my "Happy Christmas Volume 1" CD anywhere.

I have my "Happy Christmas Volume 2" cd.

I have my "Happy Christmas Volume 3" cd.

I even have my "Happy Christmas Volume 4" cd.

And all are wonderful.

But, as those who have heard it know, Vol 1 is the best. For those that don't know, I am talking about the Tooth and Nail Christmas albums. The first one, aptly titled "Happy Christmas," came out in 1998. Here is the track listing. See - no, hear - how it rocks.

1. The O.C. Supertones - Joy To The World
2. Joy Electric - Winter Wonderland
3. Chasing Furies - O Come Emmanuel
4. Starflyer 59 - A Holiday Song
5. Five Iron Frenzy - You Gotta Get Up
6. Sarah Masen - Heaven's Got A Baby
7. Plankeye - Away In A Manger
8. Almonzo - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
9. Pep Squad - Feliz Navidad
10. Bon Voyage - Holly Jolly Christmas
11. Seven Day Jesus - O Holy Night
12. One Eighty - Mele Kalikimaka
13. Switchfoot - Evergreen
14. House Of Wires - Do You Hear What I Hear?
15. Fold Zandura - Asia Minor
16. The Huntingtons - It's Always Christmas At My House
17. The Dingees - We Three Kings
18. Puller - Saviour Of The Fools

Yes. It is the track listing of legend. And if you find yourself thinking, "...I haven't even heard of half of those bands" then you, my friend, missed out on the glorious wonder that was Christian alt/rock in the late 90s. (And I say that with complete honesty - Christian music at it's finest, in my opinion.)

However. If you find yourself saying, "Yes! Yes I own that album and I love it! I have it right here!" then you and I need to talk.

Also.

2007-11-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

New template. A bit boring, but it is new, so that must count for something. I also updated a few of the links on the side - if you want me to link to your blog, let me know in the comments.

In Which I Desperately Try And Write Something Worth Reading

2007-11-10T15:16:00.000-08:00

This is going to be one of those "everything-and-the-kitchen-sink" blog posts, because every other time I try and write something it just ends in children crying. Well, actually, it results in *me* crying, but I'd imagine it'd make small children cry too. Writing has gotten quite a bit harder - it pretty much puts my mental reserves in a blender and, well, blends it - but I'm trying to push through it. I've been reading things online, and it looks like when it comes to the mental fatigue side of MS, you can sometimes train yourself to use a different portion of your brain for whatever you are trying to do. I've achieved a small bit of success in other areas (I can now listen to music AND read again, even though it is just for a small amount of time. Still - progress!), so I figure if I keep pushing maybe I can start writing more often, in which case everyone wins! (Except those of you who actually read this blog. You are brave, brave souls.)

...and now I am venturing *very* close to the "complaining" zone, so I'm just going to skip ahead and say that overall the current MS condition is "Ok-ish, with a sense of slight apprehension." I have more tests in two weeks, and I really really really want them to show that there is little-to-no new damage. If you could all be praying, that would be awesome.

Ok. On to more fun topics.

It is the time of the year where our money suspiciously disappears more quickly than usual. Well, it isn't too suspicious - I know the culprit. It is Starbucks. It is the season of the Starbucks Peppermint Mocha, and the angels are rejoicing. I know they actually will make them for you at any time during the year, but they only have the red sprinkles for a small part of the year.

And the red sprinkles, as we all know, are the ingredients that contain the joy.

On the movie side of things, I've come to the opinion that this year has been the best year for film since 1999 - and I haven't even been able to catch a few of the "must sees." As it is, several films that would normally make it on to my top ten list are way down at 15 or 20 - and others are threatened to be pushed off in the next 2 months. I still need to somehow catch "The Darjeeling Limited" and "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford." However, I have been able to catch "Into the Wild," "Across the Universe," and "Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas" in Digital 3D (which was pretty dang awesome). If you've seen a great film this year, let me know what it is in the comments below. I'll add it to my list and try and check it out before the end of the year. I think the next film we'll catch is "Beowulf" in 3D - it's 3D, it's getting great reviews, AND it was written by Neil Gaiman, so I really want to check it out. Even if my wife keeps teasing me that it looks like "Shrek 4."

I've also descended deeper into geekdom. I've always loved comics, but I've always managed to just read them when they came out in paperback form. I always prided myself that I wasn't one of *those* comic book geeks, who eagerly go to their local comic book store and buy loads of overpriced flimsy pieces of geek bait that cause them to plunk down cash for a thing they will read once or twice and then hoard in little protective plastic sheaths. And then Adventures Underground opened up and ruined it all.

Adventures Underground is basically a store that was made to ensnare people like my wife and I - they are a book store that sells new/used books, new/used comics, and games (both board and rpg). The owners are young (not much older than us, actually), and awesome. I've been buying the new Buffy comics there every month (which are awesome, by the way), and today I started a "pull list." For those who aren't geeks, a pull list is a list of the comics that the store will "pull" and hold for you. This way, you don't have to look for each comic that you're collecting every time a comic comes out. So far, I have

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8
Angel: After the Fall (Basically, Season 6 of Angel)
Runaways
The Umbrella Academy (I saw the online short at "Dark Horse Presents", and liked it quite a bit. I also picked up the first two issues, and liked them too, so on the list they go!)
...and any new Hellboy comics.

It's a short pull list, I know, but all the Marvel and DC continuity/crossover crap has me a bit intimidated, so I'm resisting - for now. I'll be adding more, eventually, but I honestly do not know where to start.

Work is going well. Something really really cool (not a raise or promotion) happened in the last week, but I'm not allowed to say much about it except that I can't really talk about it. Sorry! Still, it made me excited, and my wife and family are happy as well.

As for videogames, I'm still working through the new Metroid for the Wii, and enjoying it a ton. I'm about 75% done - and WOULD be farther - but we also bought "The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass" for the DS, and that's stolen a good part of my time. I'm really really looking forward to the new Mario game (which I believe comes out... tomorrow?), and a few others that will be going on my Christmas list.

Book-wise, I'm reading lots of Terry Pratchett, because I have found that he rocks. And now I'm tired, so I'll try to pick up whatever is left some other time.

Summer-y Judgement

2007-09-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

I meant to write reviews for all of these, I really did. But to be honest, writing (well, typing, to be more accurate) has gotten quite a bit harder as of late. So, instead of me going through and reviewing each and every one of these films, I’m doing a quick summary. A summer-y summary, if you will. If you want a full review of one in particular, just let me know, and I’ll see what I can do. I’m really really trying to become “good” at writing again, so it’ll be good practice for me. This… is not good writing. But it *was* fun. :)

movies i saw this summer

(a report by jason meaden)

This summer I saw a lot of movies. At first we didn’t see many movies, but then summer came and we saw a lot. This is mostly because my wife is awesome and we found fun friends to see movies with and because there were lots of movies we wanted to see. The first movie we saw this summer was a movie called Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End.

It was about pirates. I liked it a lot, even though a lot of other stupid people didn’t like it and even though it didn’t have a giant squid attacking boats and killing people. But it had a giant whirlpool that sucked ships down while they were fighting and a wedding was going on and stuff, and that was awesome! And some people died, and that was sad. After the movie my head hurt from all of the sounds and all the pretty pictures of things asploding, but in a good way. I smiled a lot.

The next time we went to the movies we saw two movies in one day! It cost a lot of money, but it was fun. First we saw Ratatouille, which is about a rat that can cook, and it was really really good. I liked how you could see the little hearts in the rats beating really fast after they ran, or when they were scared. They did a really good job with the animation! I heard this movie was made by a guy named Brad Bird, who also made The Iron Giant and The Incredibles. Both those movies are good too! In fact I am pretty sure that all three movies are like some of the most best cartoon movies I’ve ever seen, so I decided that I will see anything that Brad Bird makes, and you should too, because he is awesome. Why is he awesome? BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Then we went and had dinner. And then we went and saw Knocked Up, which is the funniest dirtiest sweetest filthiest pro-life movie ever made, I think. I laughed a lot, but I would never ever bring Mom or Dad to see it. It made everyone laugh a lot, and it made the girls in the audience go “awwww” a lot. Ok I went “awww” too, but it was only because the movie was very good and very funny and it shows that family is worth “growing up” for, even if you and your friends like to just lay around and be lazy all day and the baby at the end was really cute so DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME FOR GOING AWWW. I mean it. Usually comedies do not make you think, but this one did! They even decide not to have an abortion, which I thought was awesome. People – IT IS OK TO HAVE A BABY. They are cool! Really! They are also a lot of work, but I’ve heard they are worth it. I mean, I was. My mom says so. Anyways, this movie was really really good and sweet and funny, but really really dirty too. That doesn’t make sense, but it’s good! Honest.

Then we didn’t see movies for a while, and then we saw like three movies in one week! First we saw Transformers. Let me just say this right here – if you did not see this movie you are stupid.

IT WAS LIKE THE COOLEST MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

Giant robots fought and chased each other and the teenage guy in the movie was funny (I liked him in “Even Stevens,” too) and did I mention GIANT FREAKING ROBOTS? I think I did, but I just wanted to make sure. This was, like, the coolest movie since Jurassic Park. Probably because the only thing as awesome as giant dinosaurs running around destroying things is giant robots running around destroying things. We saw this movie at midnight and everyone was super happy they saw it. And I know I said it before but I will say it again and that is that if you did not see this movie on the biggest screen possible then you are a stupid head. I am pretty sure this is why God invented movie theaters.

A few days later we saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which was like twelve million times better than the crappy fourth movie. I’m sorry for swearing, but it was really crappy. But this movie wasn’t! They cut a lot of parts out from the book, but the parts they left in were awesome! They had a scene where they flew through London at night, and it was like the coolest part of any Harry Potter movie ever. Until the end of this one. Let me just saw this – the fight scene at the end of this movie is unbelievably awesome. Honest. And Ginny rocks, too. Harry and Ron and Hermione also rock, but they ALWAYS rock. I am pretty sure this is the bestest Harry Potter movie they have made so far, and that makes me excited because the guy who made this one is also making the next one. The music was really really good too! If you did not like this movie then I do not understand you. What I’m saying is that if you didn’t like this movie, you do not make sense at all, so maybe you should be smarter and realize that this movie is great, so be quiet. Rogue agrees with me that this movie is awesome, and she has very good taste and is smart (she reads a lot of books) so there.

Then we saw Stardust, which is based on a very good book by a man named Neil Gaiman, who is an awesome author. I liked this movie a lot, even though it was a little different than the book. But different is not always bad! This film is funny and sweet and exciting, and you CAN take your parents to see it too (or even your little brother or sister, but only if they don’t get too scared at scary parts, because the witch in this movie is SCARY, mostly because I didn’t know Michelle Pfeiffer was still alive, so THAT was a surprise, and there are also dead guys who watch things, which sounds creepy but it’s really actually funny.)

Anyways, it’s really really good, and if you didn’t see it in theaters you really missed out. I mean, it doesn’t have giant robots, but it’s a very funny and exciting fairy tale for grown ups, so you don’t have to be embarrassed when you watch it. In fact, you can be proud! Because not many people see good movies like this, and if you do, then you show that you are smart. And being smart is cool. So see this movie when it comes out on dvd, and then you can feel silly for not seeing it in theaters.

Then I saw Live Free or Die Hard, which is so stupid that I think I rolled my eyes over 12 thousand times. It was exciting, and the guy from the Apple commercials is really good in it, but really – it’s silly. It isn’t really a bad movie, but it IS a silly movie, and it doesn’t really make sense at all. To the people who made this movie: When a movie about giant robots makes more sense and seems more realistic than your movie, then you have a problem. Also I’m pretty sure that Bruce Willis is getting kind of old, so maybe he should stop making silly movies that do not make sense and start making good movies again. That’s all.

After that, I went and saw The Bourne Ultimatum with Rogue’s mom. It was awesome! It made you think, but it wasn’t TOO complicated, and it didn’t make me sick with shaky screens like the second one did. I couldn’t wait to see what Jason Bourne would do next, and he ALWAYS DID SOMETHING AWESOME. I was like, “Man, if this ever happens to me I should TOTALLY REMEMBER THIS.” Because in case you did not know, Jason Bourne is named after me. Really! My name is Jason too, but they had to change his name because they didn’t want everyone to call me and go “Jason, you are as awesome as this guy in this movie!” Because I’m pretty sure I am, even if I do not kill people with my bare hands and rescue pretty girls and drive cars backwards off of parking garages I am pretty sure I could. Anyways, this movie was really good to watch after the stupid Die Hard movie because it made sense and was actually realistic. Plus it is very exciting, and Jason Bourne kicks a lot of butt. Honest. You should see it.

The last movie I saw this summer was a movie called Resident Evil: Extinction. Rogue did not see it with me, because she hates zombies a lot. So I saw it with my cousin and my uncle and my uncle’s friend, and we all liked it a lot, except my uncle because he was scared. In this movie zombies have taken over the whole world, so the people still alive have to fight their way to the north to stay alive, because I guess like Canada and Alaska are the only places zombies do not like. (I think they are afraid of polar bears and grizzly bears, because WHO ISN’T. Also I think between a fight between zombies and a grizzly bear the grizzly bear would win. By a lot.) Anyways, there are lots of really cool fight scenes, and lots of zombies, and an attack by zombie birds, which is like almost as cool as giant robots fighting. It is not really a serious movie, but it doesn’t pretend to be one or try to be one like that stupid Die Hard movie. (BRUCE WILLIS PAY ATTENTION!) It has super-powered zombie-killing girls and clones and cool explosions and zombies that go SPLECH when you shoot them in the head. It was a lot of fun.

That was my summer of movies. They were mostly very very good, and I am glad I got to see them. Movies are fun!

The end, by Jason

For those that didn’t want to sort through my crazy ADD-kid fueled ramblings, here’s how the films all pan out. I didn’t write about “Once,” because it’s the sort of movie that demands better. I’ll try and write a full review sometime soon. Suffice to say, it’s an amazing film. In the mean time, here’s a quick rundown of the films I saw this summer, along with their dvd release dates. Again, if there are any films that you'd like "real" reviews for, just let me know, and I'll see what I can do. Also, if there are any movies that I missed that I *must* see, let me know!

Quite Literally, Awe Inspiring
Once (still in limited release, dvd date unknown)

Nearly Perfect
Knocked Up (out on dvd now!)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (dvd on Dec 11th)
Transformers (dvd on Oct 16th)
The Bourne Ultimatum (dvd on Dec 11th)
Ratatouille (dvd on Oct 6th)

Really Really Good
Stardust (dvd on Dec 18th)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (dvd on Dec 4th)

Good Guilty Pleasure Fun
Resident Evil: Extinction (in theaters now)

Absolutely Ridiculous, But Not Quite A *Complete* Waste of Your Money
Live Free or Die Hard (dvd on Oct 20th)

This Story Just Completely Made My Night

2007-07-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

I can now go to bed nice and happy. Check it out!

We'll Always Have... Paris? Really?

2007-06-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

I’m writing again, it’s gorgeous outside, work stuff is going well, the summer movie season is in full swing… life is, for the most part good. Making things even better? These things.

I’ve never heard of SoulFest – apparently, it’s a Christian music festival in New Hampshire, or something. However, I want to go to it. Badly. Why? Peruse this page. Specifically, look at the lineup for Friday, August 3^rd. Even MORE specifically, look at the list of names playing on Friday, August 3^rd on the Inside Out stage and the Mercy St. Café stage. That’s right. They somehow got Reese freaking Roper to play at their festival. And, according to people who are volunteering, early artist lineup sheets billed Reese as “Reese Roper and his 5 Iron Friends.”

*head explodes*

If Five Iron Frenzy is playing a reunion show… I would geek out so much. I mean, they probably aren’t, but still – let me dream. For those asking “Um, isn’t Five Iron Frenzy some Christian ska band from the 90’s?”, the short answer is, well, yes. The long answer would be yes, but…

And then after the “but” I’d give you reason after reason why FIF wasn’t just a “band,” but one of the finest music groups in the past 20 years, Christian or secular. And my reasons would be so firm and glorious and TRUE that you could do nothing but mutely nod your head in earnest agreement. They were THAT. GOOD.

And yeah, I know that it’s still probably just Reese Roper playing a show, but still – this is beyond awesome. He’s been out of the music scene for far too long. Whether it’s old stuff, new stuff, Brave Saint Saturn stuff (which would be almost as good as FIF stuff), or a genuine honest-to-goodness reunion – I envy anyone who gets to go. If he was playing at Creation West, I’d be there in a heartbeat, despite my doctor’s orders that under no circumstances am I to go out in the sun. Screw MS – I’d be all over that. But a trip cross-country - no. Sadly.

Speaking of MS – one of the things I’ve heard most often from those with MS, or those who live with /work with/know people who have MS, is that there are literally zero celebrities pushing for more research and money to help find a cause / cure. That sounds cynical, but famous people bring more money, and money brings results. The closest thing I’ve heard so far is that Barack Obama’s father-in-law has it. That is, until now.

I was reading the interview that Barbara Walters did with Paris Hilton (hey – I was bored. Don’t judge.) when I read this little gem:

“I asked what kinds of things she might want to do. She said she would like to help in the fields of breast cancer — her grandmother had breast cancer — or multiple sclerosis. ”

That’s right. The celebrity champion for multiple sclerosis might very well be Paris Hilton.
Is this a good thing? I mean, half of me is saying “Yay, maybe more people will know about this now!” The other half of me is saying things that aren’t very Godly. (I blame the damage caused by MS.) I mean… Paris Hilton.

I… do not know what to say to this. I am using a lot of “…”’s, and you can read a lot between those three little dots, because what, exactly, do you say to this? I mean, on the one hand, we’re nowhere NEAR a cure – heck, they don’t even know what causes MS, let alone know how to cure it, and the treatment they have now is created from Chinese hamster ovaries (yes, you read that right – CHINESE. HAMSTER. OVARIES.) and involves plunging a stupid suck-tacular needle into your body and INJECTING the medication made from Chinese hamster ovaries into your blood stream, and hoping it’s helping, even though a lot of the time it makes you feel like you have the flu. And they don’t even know WHY it works, they just know that it usually does. So yes, at this point, any publicity it good publicity. I, for one, dream of a day when my treatment is Chinese hamster ovary free. And maybe? Someday? We’ll get a cure. And I guess if Paris is the only one who’s willing to push for that future, then we’ll take her. Gladly. Welcome to the club, Paris!

And, finally, Harry Potter fever is growing. I think Rogue and I are both quietly counting the days until J.K. Rowling unveils “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” We’ve been debating who’s going to die, who’s going to live, how it’ll all end, and all that good stuff. (Yeah – we’re geeks that way.) I know some people who don’t want it all to end, but I can’t wait. I’ve been lucky enough to catch “the end” of a lot of my favorite things (The last episode of Buffy, the last Five Iron show, the upcoming last season of Battlestar, etc), and I love it. I love it when an artist decides that it’s time to finish the story, on their own terms. (This is very different than when someone else decides it’s time to end the story – see: “Veronica Mars,” “Angel,” “Firefly,” “Wonderfalls,” etc.) I can not WAIT to see what she’s had planned this whole time, and I can’t wait to debate it all with my wife, my siblings, and my friends. Plus, the next movie is looking pretty great, as well. (As long as they keep George and Fred in the film, all is good.) Isn’t it a great time to be a book nerd?

And finally, FINALLY, if you’re a Hellboy fan, like I am, (and you should be) you’ll be interesting in this: Neil Gaiman is hanging out on the Hellboy 2 set (to pick up some directing tips from his good friend Guillermo Del Toro), and he’s let his 12 year old daughter take over his blog. The result is basically a set visit through the eyes of an extremely smart 12 year old – with pictures! She has pictures of her and her dad hanging out with Doug Jones (who plays Abe Sapien) and the rest of the gang, and it’s very cool. Nothing outright spoilery, but it’s just fun getting a glimpse into this film that is, for me at least, extremely anticipated.

Say What?

2007-06-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

I wrote a movie review! Yes, I can hear your gasps all the way over here. But it's true. You can go to Rogue and I's classic | celluloid site to check it out. Now that I've thrown off the horrid disease of "lazy blogger" syndrome, maybe I can write some more!

Well, maybe. Someday.

In the mean time, check out my review, check out Rogue's 20 million reviews (if you haven't already), and let us know what you think! We like hearing from people, if if you're wrong. Er, I mean, even if you disagree with us. Yeah.

Sarah 1, Gallbladder 0

2007-05-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

You might have heard that my wife was getting her gallbladder out today. I am currently sitting in the waiting room here at the hospital, and the surgeon just came out to talk to us - Sarah is fine, and the surgery went wonderfully. She's in recovery right now, and as soon as she starts to wake up we'll get to go see her. Thanks for all your prayers!

(Mostly) Good News!

2007-03-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, they removed the two inch tumor attached to my thyroid. (Yay!) Unfortunately, this involved removing the left half of my thyroid.
The tumor was benign. (Double yay!)
I had a "happy" button while in the hospital - whenever I pushed it, more morphine would be pumped into my IV. (Awesomely yay. I felt like Malcom in the Jurassic Park novels.)
I have a really cool/gross 4 inch cut along my throat - I made a kid cry in RiteAid today while we were picking up my pain meds. (Thirty happy pills! Joy!)
After I'm all healed up, life looks like it will FINALLY be getting back to normal. (I honestly can not remember what "normal" feels like anymore.)
Normal, that is, except the whole MS thing. We've started treatment for that, and besides it making me feel like I'm about to puke every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night (the nights I get my injections), it's going really well. I'll be at full strength next Monday. Hopefully after that my body will get used to it, and it won't make me quite so sick.

And I So Wish I Was Joking

2007-02-24T23:07:00.000-08:00

Most of you already know, by now - I have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. (Yes, this is the previously mentioned "very very scary" health problem and "decidedly non-normal" life event.) Which sucks, but it could suck a lot worse. My wife and I are actually doing pretty well with the whole thing, and I start treatment this Monday. (She wrote a lot about it already, because she is a responsible blogger. Read it right here)

This is not all, however.

After looking at the results of my last MRI, my doctor noticed an odd lump located on my thyroid.

I am not even joking.

It is a completely separate deal from the whole MS thing, and it kinda came out of the blue. It is most likely nothing serious, but thyroid cancer runs in my family. We're going in for more tests and a possible biopsy on - yup, you guessed it - Monday. The same day I start MS treatment. Rogue and I are still doing ok with the whole thing, but it's like... seriously. Did my body have to start falling apart all at once? At the age of twenty freaking five?

It's been an interesting experience, to say the least - usually, when bad things happen, you can look back and find a moment, or a choice you made, where it all went wrong. You can say, "That's where it all went wrong," or "I really really wish I had done that differently." With this, you can't do that. I can't point to a single thing that Rogue or I did that led to this. Even with "random" events, like a car crash, you can say, "If I hadn't decided to go to the store, this would never have happened." Not so much with MS.

Which is why I'm surprised when people tell us, "Oh, you're handling it so well!" I mean, how ELSE can you handle it? There is literally nothing either of us can do about it. And that's really, really, freeing.

Because it's out of our hands, and in God's. And really, you only have two questions to ask. You can ask, "Why did God allow this to happen?", or you can ask "Why did God choose me to have MS?" If you ask the first, you immediately assume that it's something that God is unable to control. (Also, you sound pathetically petulant and whiny.) You're assuming that God didn't want this to happen to you, and was unable to stop it.

The second question is exponentially more frightening. IF God is all powerful (and I believe He is, or He would not be God), then He COULD have stopped it. But he didn't. Which means that He actively chose to have me experience MS. And I'm ok with that. If this is what He's picked for me, I'm sure He has his reasons. And I'm sure He's in control. All Rogue and I have to do is trust Him, and treat the crap out of this bad boy. Yes, you want to panic, but it is a lot like a roller coaster - you are freaking out and your body is COMPLETELY CONVINCED you are going to die, but then it rolls to a stop and it's all ok.

It's exhausting, and terrifying, but what else can you do? You can either drive yourself crazy with anger or self pity, or you can trust and go forward the best you can. You save your sanity, and your life sucks less. And I'm all for life sucking less.

There's also that stupid lump, though. (I know. Ridiculous.) If you could pray, we'd really appreciate it.

Also, if Pan's Labyrinth doesn't clean up at the Oscars tomorrow there will be hell to pay.

If you have any questions, ask away - no need to be sensitive and such, we'd rather people be blatantly honest. We're not particularly sensitive, so please - ask.

Soon. Very Soon.

2007-02-13T00:25:00.000-08:00

New posts - including the final few films in my top ten - are coming soon. I promise. Life has just been decidedly non-normal the last few weeks, and blogging was fairly low on the list of "things that sound fun."

But - soon. (I think?)

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Six

2007-01-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

So that sucked. I apologize – this “review a day” thing was great in theory, but early on I realized that to actually post a review a day, I’d have to write a review a day. This did not happen. It lasted longer than I thought, though – I made it like five days. Then Saturday happened. Well, specifically, “Children of Men” happened. It inevitable occurs that halfway through writing my top ten I’ll see a movie that I didn’t think I’d be able to see in time to make it in my top ten – and then that movie screws the entire thing up. It happened last year with “The Constant Gardener,” and it happened the year before that as well. Last year, with "The Constant Gardener," I decided to not include it, because it didn’t really fit in with the rest of the list – even though it’s an utterly magnificent film, and probably my second favorite film of 2005. It's also tricky, because "Children of Men" is like a shotgun blast of awesomeness to the chest. All you know is that you've been hit, and hit hard - but there's no way to tell what the lasting result will be until a while later.

Also, I am lazy. (See? I can admit it.)

So. It's time to get this thing started again. Time for the top five to start.

Rogue:

10: She's the Man
9: X3: The Last Stand
8: Over the Hedge
7: Nanny McPhee
6: Beerfest

5: Monster House

Starring: Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, Spencer Locke, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Lee, Kevin James, Nick Cannon, Jon Heder
Rated: PG
Released: July 21, 2006
Awards: Won a Florida Film Critics Award for Best Animated Film, nominated for 9 other awards
Synopsis: DJ and Chowder are just breaking into the terrifying world of adolescence when something even more disturbing presents itself into their pubescent world. The house across the street from DJ seems to be alive. And evil. Not one of the neighborhood kids dares set foot on Nebbercracker's lawn for fear of disappearing forever. When the intelligent and attractive Jenny enters into the picture, the three decide to find out the secret behind Nebbercracker's evil living house before it has a chance to devour hapless trick-or-treaters come Halloween.

Why this made my Top Ten:
Mostly because I went into the theater expecting a cheesy dorky kids movie and found so much more. Despite the fact the experience itself was horrible (butter pouring down onto my jeans from our popcorn and forever staining them) I really enjoyed the movie. The story wasn't cheap at all, instead the house really WAS evil and really WAS eating people. I expected a cop out ending instead of something terrifying. Plus, some of the one liners were positively scandalous in nature, making the characters actually seem like teenagers. The babysitter and her boyfriend were ridiculously punk rawk - which of course I appreciate. As my husband alluded to, it was like watching an animated "Goonies." And since The Goonies is one of my favorite childhood films and is deliciously dirty, you can imagine how much I loved this film.

thatoneguy:

10.) M:I:3
9.) The Prestige
8.) Monster House
7.) Over The Hedge
6.) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

5.) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Director: Adam McKay
Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen
Released: August 4, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: Pretty much nothing.

The Lowdown: It's tricky writing a review or critique of a comedy - humor is extremely subjective, and doesn't really hold up well to analysis or deconstruction. When you start really thinking about why a joke is funny, you miss the entire point of the thing. We try and do this all the time, of course - we start telling someone about something hilarious that happened during the day, only halfway through the story you realize that it doesn't sound half as funny as when it happened and you finish by saying (somewhat lamely) “Well, I guess you had to be there.” So yes, I could delve into how this film subtly uses America's homophobia and xenophobia as a way to get to get us to laugh at ourselves while realizing that we're kinda jerks a lot of the time, or how it expertly mocks the redneck culture while simultaneously praising it, or how Will Ferrell is showing an amazing ability to play all sorts of roles, but I really doubt you'd be interested. All you really need to know about “Talladega Nights” is that I laughed so hard that I could not breathe, and I am not even joking. This film prompted the sort of laughter that causes intense pain, the kind of laughter that starts being scary because you suddenly realize “Holy crap, I can not breathe anymore.”

It's that funny. Honest. Go see it.

Why You Should See It: Will Ferrell. John C. Reilly. Sacha Baron Cohen. “I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!” The cougar. The hilarious Applebee's product placement. “Save me Tom Cruise!” “Shake and Bake!” The crash scenes. The skewering of the NASCAR subculture. “You'd best shut your mouth before I stick your head in the microwave.” The kids (Oh man, the kids). The hilarity. The awesomeness. And, because it's pretty much the funniest film of the year - if not the past several years.

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Five

2007-01-06T15:38:00.000-08:00

Late. Yes, I know. It's not Rogue's fault, either - her reviews are written like 2 days in advance. I, however, am not as responsible as her - I'm making this stuff up as I go along, basically.

Rogue:

10.) She's the Man
9.) X3: The Last Stand
8.) Over the Hedge
7.) Nanny McPhee
6.) Beerfest

Starring: Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Kevin Heffernan, Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme, Cloris Leachman,
Released: August 25, 2006
Rated: R
Awards: Haha, yeah right.

Synopsis: After their grandfather dies, Todd and Jan Wolfhouse are given the task of burying his ashes at Beerfest in Germany according to tradition. However, they mistake Oktoberfest for Beerfest and suddenly find themselves on the run from thousands of angry, drunk Oktoberfest fans after insulting tradition. They find themselves led to the uber secret Beerfest - a once a year competition in traditional beer drinking games. They also find out the Germans are the reigning leaders, their distant cousins, and that they are sons of a bastard child who stole the top brewery in Germany's secret beer recipe. Jan and Todd vow to clear their grandfather's name and return the following year to win Beerfest. They gather up their college beer drinking pals from their various low-level jobs and begin to train. Matters are complicated when they actually find the secret recipe and the German team decides to do all they can to get the recipe back and take out the Americans.

Why this made my Top Ten:
After all my previous picks, you might be thinking I've lost my mind. You may be right. I'm actually not a big crude humor fan. I can handle a few fart jokes and occasionally some double entendre. But for some reason, whenever Broken Lizard produces a movie, I find it absolutely hysterical. I know nothing about beer drinking games or beer, having gone to a Christian college (not that this really excuses me), and I don't even like beer itself. But Broken Lizard's comedy is so off the wall and absurd that I find it addicting. Every movie finds one of the actors playing a completely different character than their previous roles. And despite the fact that Jay Chandrasekhar directs them all, each has a different member as the lead. They find ways to make the oldest of jokes funny in each movie and every one seems destined to become a comedy classic. In some ways, this movie reminds me of an R rated episode of The Office - some parts are just so uncomfortable you're cringing while you're laughing your butt off. And I appreciate that as much beer as they drink in this film - they include a disclaimer at the beginning and do it in a way that portrays this course as a bad choice. Plus - nowadays it seems nearly impossible to rent a movie without getting the unrated version of it. Personally, I don't want to see nudity or push things much further than Broken Lizard pushes them in the first place. And, according to my husband, the unrated version actually seems cleaner than the screen version. Which is nice. Granted, there are still boobies and lots of drinking games, man part jokes, and bad drunk jokes - but for some reason I still love it.

thatoneguy:

10.) M:I:3
9.) The Prestige
8.) Monster House
7.) Over The Hedge
6.) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Director: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Jonny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jack Davenport, Bill Nighy
Released: June 24, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: A Golden Globle Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy nomination for Johnny Depp, a Grammy nomination for best soundtrack, and it will most likely win an Oscar for it's special effects.

The Lowdown:

Yes, it's overly long. Yes, it's a cliff hanger. Yes, it was a smart enough film to utterly confuse most of it's audience. And yes, it made a crapload of money. So why is it sitting so high on my list? Because it rocks. Seriously. Also, because it's a much, much darker film this time out - every character is painted in a shade of grey, and left to fend for themselves, and I love that they had the courage to take a Disney film in that direction. Plus, it earned a spot on the top ten JUST because of the Kraken. (Seriously. If you have a Kraken as a major plot device, you've earned top ten consideration.) Some of the best special effects ever done only add to the fun - as do the wonderful performance by Depp and the gang. It's also interesting that this film is actually more of a fantasy film than a pirate film - a fantasy film with a pirate theme, if you will. That's more than ok, since the pirate mythos is at times more interesting than historical reality. This has the pleasant bonus of letting Verbinski and Depp run wild with their love of dark humor and imagery in unexpected places. Verbinski also continues to show that he has an eye for shocking, surprising, and overwhelming imagery and tone with the many phenominal set pieces and scenes. It's pretty, loud, exciting, hilarious, and breathtakingly imaginative and brave. Of course, it also has a Kraken. And that kinda rocks. This film is an absolute blast, and anyone who says otherwise has crap taste in films. (There. I said it.)

Why You Should See It:

This film has grossed over one billion dollars worldwide. That's not hyperbole, or a mistake - it has, literally, made over one billion dollars. Specifically, one billion sixty-five million three hundred sixty-one thousand eight hundred and twelve dollars, worldwide . In numerical terms, that's $1,065,361,812. That is a lot of money. You've all SEEN this movie already, and if you haven't, you have most likely spent the last six months in a coma, since this thing was even released in the Philippines and most of Africa. However. You want reasons? I will give you reasons. A Kraken. Johnny Depp. Some of the best special effects of all time. Dark humor. Bright humor. Amazing set pieces. Lush photography. Fight scenes the like of which you've never seen. A Kraken. Davy Jones, and his crew. Wonderful supporting performances. Keira Knightly. Bill Nighy. That awesome, perfect, moment where Sparrow calls Elizabeth "Pirate," and the smile that follows. Also - there's a Kraken. Seriously, why haven't you seen this yet?

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Four

2007-01-04T23:38:00.000-08:00

Ha! Making it JUST in time - midnight's only a few minutes away. So, with no further waiting, let me introduce you to Rogue and I's choices for number 7....

Rogue:

10.) She's the Man
9.) X3: The Last Stand
8.) Over the Hedge

7.) Nanny McPhee

Starring: Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Angela Lansbury, Kelly MacDonald, Imelda Staunton, Celia Imrie, Thomas Sangster, Eliza Bennett
Released: January 27, 2006
Rated: PG
Awards: A Silver Medal at the New York Film Festival for Introductions and Lead-in Titles, and nominated for a Satellite Award.

Synopsis: Recently widowed Mr. Brown has more than just his undertaker business and personal grief to worry about. His seven children are completely out of control and known as a bane to all 17 nannies they have managed to chase away. A mysterious voice tells him to hire Nanny McPhee, and the woman suddenly appears on his front step. Nanny McPhee is hideously ugly and takes no nonsense from the children. She states she has five rules they will learn to obey and as soon as they want her there she must leave and will not leave as long as they don't want her around. The children obviously rebel, and Nanny McPhee begins to use her magic to teach them some of the consequences of their actions. But Great Aunt Adelaide comes to take one of the children away in order to teach her to behave properly and Mr. Brown is faced with the distasteful job of finding a new wife as quickly as possible.

Why it made my Top Ten:

This movie is a modern day sort of Mary Poppins, only...the children are actually naughty instead of just estranged from their parents. Emma Thompson is absolutely brillian as McPhee, as well as the adaptor of the screen play. Kelly MacDonald quietly shines as the maid Evangeline in her quiet love for Mr. Brown and of course, Angela Lansbury is the perfect crotchety old woman in her first screen appearance in 20 years. I love this movie because kids will love it for it's "Home Alone" moments of food fights and pranks but it actually does teach valuable lessons about being respectful and obeying your parents. It tries to get across the five rules of McPhee and although when the children disobey funny things happen, it can help kids understand that it really is a good idea to learn manners. On top of wonderful acting, humor, a love story and cute kids, the art direction was incredible. All of the colors were bright and beautiful, there was always a sense of life about the film. Things went on in the background to add to the humor and the final scenes were absolutely gorgeous in their sense of contrast and colors. All in all, this film was perfectly acted, written, and portrayed.

thatoneguy:

10.) M:I:3
9.) The Prestige
8.) Monster House

7.) Over The Hedge

Director(s): Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick
Starring: A whole bunch of famous people
Released: April 29, 2006
Rated: PG
Awards: A whole slew of Annie Award nominations - and it has a chance at being nominated for an Oscar in the "Best Animated Film" category.

The Lowdown:

Dreamworks - long content with churning out mindnumbing fare like Shrek, Shrek 2, Shark Tale, and Madagascar - has finally created an animated film that will hold up to the test of time. It's a message film, yes, but one that relies on characters and a solid storyline to convey it's message. Toss in a solid cast that never tries to steal the scene, and jokes that are more than pop culture references, and you've got a solid film that'll make almost anyone laugh. (In fact, at times it almost feels like a Pixar film - the only thing that holds it back is the celebrity cast and the quality of animation.) What's more, it manages to completely skewer the typical suburban lifestyle while never quite insulting the audience who perfectly embodies the lifestyle they're skewering. It's awesome. This is the rare film that leaves little room for complaint - it's entirely enjoyable, and hopefully a solid indication of where Dreamworks Animation is heading. (Not likely, though - Shrek 3 comes out this summer.)

Why You Should See It:

Hammy, the squirrel who steals the show. Bruce Willis, who actually sounds ALIVE in this film, turning in his best acting job in years. Eugene Levy. The "Squirrel Time" sequence. The traps. The "You're the devil" line. Steve Carrell. A great soundtrack performed by none other than Ben Folds, including a family-friendly reworking of his own "Rocking the Suburbs." The jokes. The comic timing. "But I like the cookie!" The reminder that as humans, we pretty much suck a lot of the time. And all the reasons Rogue mentioned in her own review, below.

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Three

2007-01-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

Rogue:

10: She's the Man
9: X3: The Last Stand
8: Over the Hedge

Starring: Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes, William Shatner, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Avril Lavigne, Allison Janney, Thomas Haden-Church
Released: May 19, 2006
Rated: PG
Awards: An Audience Award for the Best Family Film at the Indianapolis International Film Festival, and 8 nominations at the Annie Awards.
Synopsis: A loner raccoon named RJ finds himself in a jam after being caught trying to steal a hibernating bear's junk food stash. Vince the Bear gives RJ three days to replace all of the items ruined during the failed caper and the raccoon turns to a group of naive forest creatures who have suddenly found themselves in the middle of a suburban housing development. The hapless creatures are led by the logical and steadfast Verne - a turtle who only has his "family's" best interests in mind and doesn't want to take any chances. However, RJ convinces them to load up on human junk food for the next winter while secretly scheming to take it for himself to pay back Vince.

Why it made my Top 10:
Mostly because of the wonderful comedic blending of all different styles of comedy; you have the straightlaced Shandling, the witty and sarcastic Willis, the over dramatic Shatner, the insane quirkiness of Carell, and the attitude of Sykes. All brought together in a social commentary cleverly disguised as a children's movie. And that social commentary was one that I support wholly. I'm not a tree-hugger by far, but I do believe humans, Americans in particular, use much more, eat much more, destroy much more than we actually realize. The choice to use cute little sarcastic animals to attempt to get this message across to cute little sarcastic children is a good one - especially when they use such well known names. It seemed like every five minutes I found myself laughing so hard I was in tears, whether it was another death scene by William Shatner, a poke at the stink of skunks, or an atomic cheese mushroom cloud exploding off the face of the earth. I guess I can't really put any other reasons than these - the movie makes a great point on consumerism and gluttoney and it made me laugh hysterically.

thatoneguy:

10. M:I:3
9. The Prestige
8. Monster House

Director: Gil Kenan
Starring: Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, Spencer Locke, Steve Buscemi
Released: June 15
Rated: PG
Awards: Golden Globe nomination for Best Animated Film, and a whole ton of Annie (the animation awards) nominations

"Are you guys, like, mentally challenged? Because if you are, I'm certified to teach you softball."

The Lowdown:

I talked quite a bit about this film right here - and I still believe that this is a really fun, funny, and adventurous film that pretty much anyone can enjoy. Family movies of late have become so sanitized that they're either plain message films ("Happy Feet") or empty pop culture reference parties (the Shrek films). By having "real"ish children it's lead characters, "Monster House" quickly establishes a sense of realism that is far too rare in animation. If you haven't seen it, it's time to correct your mistake.

Why You Should See It:

The gorgeous art style. The three lead actors. The supporting actors. A house that eats people. The many, many moments where you'll laugh out loud. The sense of adventure you felt when you first watched "The Goonies." But, most of all, it'll make you feel like a kid again.

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Two

2007-01-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

Rogue and I's number 9 picks are below. Go go super film reviewers!

Rogue:

10.) She's the Man
9.) X-men 3: The Last Stand

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, Shawn Ashmore, Ellen Page
Released: May 26, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: None, but nominated for 15 different awards.
Synopsis: A new vaccine has been discovered to overcome the gene causing the genetic mutations of mutant humans. And of course, the government "strongly suggests" that mutants utilize this "cure" and get rid of their powers. Magneto obviously opposes it and forms the The Brotherhood - a band of mutants who believe themselves superior to humans. And he also wants to kill the boy whose blood is the source of the cure. Professor Xavier and his integration friendly X-Men are doing their best to stop Magneto from instigating war with non-mutants (again), while trying to protect themselves against one of their own. Jane Grey has been resurrected as the nearly all-powerful and out of control Dark Phoenix and seems hell-bent on killing anyone who pisses her off. No matter how much it screws up any plans for further sequels.

Why it made my Top 10: I dearly love the X-Men movies. I think it's a very creative idea and for the most part has followed what little I know of the comic strips. And I was very much anticipating this third installment in the series. I think the previous two have done a stellar job of character development, action, and creativity in plot lines. Not to mention the special effects have been dazzling. But this third film was a terrific disappointment. It was marred by cast members fighting over screen time - detracting from the film focusing on any one character other than Jane Grey/Dark Phoenix. And she spent most of the film either glowering or killing people with her awesome molecular disintigration skills. But mostly just glowering. Another of my biggest disappointments in this film. Grey was one of my favorite characters and I knew before they announced the third film that they would bring her back and a lot of the backstory about her being chosen by an alien entity and having enormous powers and sometimes being good and sometimes being evil. But I was severely disappointed with how the story was altered to making it seem Professor Xavier had kept her in some sort of Vulcan mind lock for years and years and now with her new abilities she simply decides to join the Dark Side. But enough sci fi classic allusions. There were other negative aspects of this movie, too. I felt the plot was incredibly rocky - some scenes just looked like excuses to use up the special effects budget. The wonderful Nightcrawler was absent. And as I mentioned before - the character development aspect was horribly deficient. I was surprised they didn't play up the angst between Kitty Pryde, Bobby Drake, and Rogue/Marie.
But this movie did make it onto my Top Ten for a reason. I enjoyed the addition of new X-Men characters, such as Kitty Pryde, Beast, and especially Archangel (the adorable Ben Foster certainly deserved more screen time). Not to mention all of the innovative mutants who were randomly showcased through The Brotherhood and in the final battle. I thought they played the ending well, however, as I mentioned before it seemed a little rushed. And all of the actors did a superb job in their respective roles, especially Anna Paquin (when does she ever do a BAD job?), Patrick Stewart, and even Rebecca Romjin as Mystique, who actually had a little bit of an emotional role. And although I would never acknowledge it out loud to my husband, Kitty Pryde was quirky, cute, and added a little bit of the witty Elizabeth Bennet innocence that the X-Men needed.

thatoneguy:

10: M:I:3
9. The Prestige

Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, Piper Perabo, Rebecca Hall
Released: October 20, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: None, but it was chosen by cnn.com and "Village Voice" film critic Tom Charity as one of the best films of 2006. It also earned stellar reviews from Peter Travers of Rolling Stone magazine and Richard Roeper. On top of that, it's sparked a number of articles and essays by critics and screenwriters examining it's themes and messages.

"No one cares about the man in the box, the man who disappears. "

The Lowdown: Based on an incredible intriguing (but slightly rough) book by Christopher Priest, this film was largely overlooked - most likely due to coming out a few months later than that other film about magicians, "The Illusionist." Which is a shame - "The Prestige" is an absolutely stellar film. Director Christopher Nolan takes an already mind twisting and gut wrenching story and makes it even more mind twisting and gut wrenching. Taking a page from his debut film, "Memento," Nolan crafts a story where perspectives change throughout the films running time, right until the last scene. Which isn't to say that it's a twist ending - the pieces are all there, from the beginning - they just aren't put together the way you expect. Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale both turn out astounding performances. They both add crucial humanizing emotion to this otherwise brutal story of two rival illusionists destroying their lives through their pride and jealousy.

Why You Should See It:

Oh man, why SHOULDN'T you see it - this film is a genuine work of art, enveloping your mind even while it alternately entertains and horrifies you. The story seems to be black and white, before blending your preconceptions into a milkshake of grey. It's not content with that, either - your own sense of morality is challenged, and the film ends up feeling like something very much like a fable. Of course, that sounds really boring. So here are the REAL reasons to see it: 19th Century London, amazingly recreated. Fun and authentic magic tricks. Amazing performances. Michael Caine! Twists. Turns. Gasp-worthy moments. Impeccable production values. Scarlet Johansson. Magic! An incredible invention that does the impossible. Some more magic. And one thing is for sure - it'll prompt discussion afterwards.

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part One

2007-01-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year again. Top ten lists are popping up all over the place, and this site is not immune. Over the next ten days I'll be revealing my personal favorite films from this past year. As a lucky bonus, you also get to catch a glimpse of my wife's top ten list, as well. Our lists have a lot in common, and a few differences. She has excellent taste, so I'm sure you'll enjoy reading her top picks as well as (if not more than) my own. Her number 10 pick is first, mine is second. All the words in her review are her own, and same goes for mine. With that out of the way...

Rogue:

Well, since I rarely (if ever) review movies - being more of a book person - I'm not exactly sure how to go about this. But for what it's worth, I'm trying. And I'm getting a book review out of it from my husband for my site. So, here we go. Hang on to your popcorn balls...

10:) She's the Man

Starring: Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, and Laura Ramsey
Released: March 17, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: Teen Choice Award to Channing Tatum for Choice Breakout (Male)
Synopsis: Viola is a star soccer player on the Cornwall girl's soccer team. The girl's team is cut and Viola is refused a spot on the boys team, which includes her exboyfriend. When her twin brother, Sebastion, decides to run away to Europe for the semester, Viola disguises herself as him and joins the Illyria School Boys Soccer team (her former school's archrivals). Unfortunately, she falls for her room mate, Duke - also on the team. And also unfortunately, her brother's slutty on-and-off-again girlfriend believes her to be Sebastion and begins to pursue her romantically. Mass hilarity ensues.

Why it made my Top 10: I do not care for Amanda Bynes. Granted, she has matured a little in the past few years in the area of acting, but I've always been annoyed by her loud voice and use of rude and disgusting humor. Fortunately for her, this movie needs that. Bynes' over-the-top acting skills make her portrayal of her brother hilarious. And although my sister pointed out, her soccer skills are nothing spectacular, but good enough so that someone who knows nothing about soccer would think she's good. The girls who play Viola's friends (especially the gay one) are wonderful and the scenes between Viola and Olivia had me laughing until I cried. And the scenes where characters used tampons for nosebleeds. I have no idea who thought of that, but well done! I'm sure this movie also was helped by the fact it was inspired by Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night." So all the creativity didn't come from modern writers trying to be funny but from a master author himself. All this put together helped it overcome it's annoying lead actress and eke out a spot on my Top 10.

thatoneguy:

10. Mission Impossible III

Starring: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ving Rhames, Billy Crudup, Michelle Monaghan, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Kerri Russell
Released: May 5th, 2006
Rated: PG-13
Awards: A number of Teen Choice nominations, and it has the possibility of being nominated for an Oscar for Best Visual Effects - but even it is, it won't win.

"Who are you? What's your name? Do you have a wife? A girlfriend? Because if you do, I'm going to find her. I'm going to hurt her. I'm going to make her bleed, and cry, and call out your name. And then I'm going to find you, and kill you right in front of her."

The Lowdown:

I'm fairly sure that when Tom Cruise chose J.J. Abrams to helm the third film in his Mission Impossible series he didn't count on getting upstaged by pretty much everyone in the film. Yet, that's the result - and it isn't a surprise. J.J. Abram's "Alias" has always been about more than the character of Sydney Bristow - so it follows that M:I:3 isn't REALLY about Ethan Hunt, the character Tom Cruise plays. In fact, in an interesting twist, everything Ethan Hunt tries to do in the film either fails, or completely backfires. The only reason things turn out OK in the end is because of his talented team of superspies, and because of his wife. In the end, he is quite literally brought back to life by his wife. And that's a pretty cool statement to make, for a spy film. And yes, it's all very pretty, with daring plans and big explosions and the like. However, under all the gloss and star power, there's a solid bedrock that lifts the film up from it's origins as a summer action flick.

Why You Should See It:

Tom Cruise gets the crap beat out of him. Philip Seymour Hoffman as the most genuinely terrifying "bad guy" you've ever seen in an action film. Michelle Monaghan proving once again that she's much too talented to remain a Hollywood unknown much longer (See "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" to see what I mean.) Kerri Russell completely stealing the movie from (and being a better action hero than) Tom Cruise, even though her character only has about five minutes of screen time. Shanghai. The Vatican. Baseballs being shot over sky scrapers during a heist. A helicopter chase through a wind-power farm. Tom Cruise being slammed into a car by an honest-to-goodness cruise missile. Michael Giacchino's fun (and, at times, beautiful) score. J.J. Abrams proving that "Alias," "Lost," and "Felicity" weren't a fluke - he's the real deal. Also, it's pretty.

Less Talk, More Rock

2006-12-26T22:50:00.000-08:00

Rogue and I have survived our Christmas wanderings, wanderings that have taken us over six hundred driving miles and have included no fewer than four Christmas celebrations in six days with no fewer than 25 people (us not included).

We are both weary, though I suspect Rogue more than myself. Poor Rogue found herself dragged into a genuine perfect storm of the borderline insanity that is known as the "Meaden Family Christmas." I had tried my best to prepare her for this whirlwind of craziness, but this year was so especially crazy that I suspect I myself was slightly unprepared.

We had brought the Wii along - it's quickly becoming one of our most cherished possessions. Exchanging notes, receiving pictures, playing games (with up to four people!) - and now it will not only tell me what the weather is in the land I call "outside," but it is also lets me browse the internet from the comfort of our couch! True, I can simply walk upstairs and check my gmail account on our mac mini, but there is an almost marvelous delight to be found in the act of browsing the web while reclined in a comfy chair, beverage or snack food of choice in hand. I had thought about typing this very post on it, but trying to do so quickly revealed a rare weakness in our beloved system - typing things out with a remote and a single button is time consuming, at best. A sudden longing for a wireless Wii compliant keyboard immediately jumped to mind, but I'm not sure they make such things. So, until the day that I procure such a wonderful device, I'll keep pounding away in the traditional style. Anyways.

As I was saying, we brought the Wii along - and yes, it was a hit. People used such words as "awesome," "fun," and "incredible." However, our beloved system was quickly overshadowed when one of my cousins asked, "What's that plastic guitar thing over there?"

It was, of course, our Guitar Hero controller. This simple device, combined with a PS2 copy of Guitar Hero II, unleashed an addiction that Rogue and I were simply unprepared for. We woke to the sounds of people playing it. We fell asleep to the sounds of people playing it. There was an honest to goodness line of people waiting to play it. Not even my Mom, who was born in a time period known as "The 50's" was immune. When trying to make our escape so that we could drive home, we had to wait a good fifteen minutes while people played "one last time." It didn't help that we got an extra controller so that two could rock at the same time. In fact, the extra controller produced an effect not unlike throwing napalm on a raging fire. What was a happy little blaze quickly turned into a deadly firestorm of Rock 'n Roll. I can't really blame them - the game is one of the best gaming experiences I've had in years, and I'm STILL not sick of it.

And, despite the craziness, I think we had a lot of fun. We received a genuinely embarrassing amount of really cool presents, and we had some great times with the family. We are home, now, and my mind is already trying to piece together my end-of-the-year "best films" list. I'm hoping to have it finished before this weekend, and the idea is to post one film a day, starting on the first, counting down from the 10th film down to my absolute favorite film of the year. Of course, there are still a few question marks - there are a number of films that I really want to see, and have a likely place on the list, but our location (the Tri-Cities) kinda makes the chances of seeing these films rather small. We'll see.

Finally, both Rogue and I would appreciate your prayers. We are still trying to find out why my brain decided to go all seizure-tacular during September and October, and the possibilities have crept from the "curious and puzzling" to "very, very scary." We have more tests scheduled in the next few weeks, along with an appointment at one of the best neurological centers in the Northwest. (Or so we're told.) Most likely there's nothing to be worried about, but prayers would be very much appreciated.

A belated "Happy Christmas" to you all, and an early "Happy New Year" as well!

We Have A Wii

2006-11-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

Rogue has jury duty this week, and we have but one car. Thus, I find myself sitting in a coffee house trying frantically to wake my body up despite every fiber of my being screaming at me, reminding me that usually my body has not even begun to think about waking up at this point in the morning. (Also, I am on the laptop that belongs to Rogue. This means that the hyphen and the apostraphe keys do not work. This is a stretch for me. I like apostraphes, and my love for the hyphen key is very well documented.)

This is not even the first time in recent days that I have found myself dragging myself out of bed before dawn. Last Sunday (Nov 19) I woke up at 4:00am. Why?

To make sure that Rogue and I got a Nintendo Wii. We had checked to see if there was a line yet around midnight, and there was not. So, I figured I would roll out of bed around 5 or so, and go on down and wait for the store to open. Instead, I woke up at 4:00am. Instead of falling back asleep, I decided to brave the bitter cold and just go a bit early, just in case.

Good thing, too. I was number 19 in line. The store got like 25 or so Wiis in, so I was good to go. However, it was a good thing I did not wait until five, since the line was pretty much filled up before then. It was cold. It was windy. I was tired. (I had only gotten about 2 and a half hours of sleep.) But when the manager came out, and handed us ticket/voucher thingies, I could only stare. There, in my hands, was a blue ticket blessed with a giant number nineteen on it. When the store opened, I quickly rushed in (along with the rest of the people who were lucky enough to get a ticket.) The heat of the store rushed over us like blessed warm blanket, driving out the bitter cold that had set up a seemingly permanent residence in our bones. I grabbed one of the copies of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and went up to the counter to pay for it and the console. After entering my pin number to authorize a truly frightening amount (I consoled myself by realizing that my entire purchase was less than half of what a PS3 would cost me), the nice man behind the counter said, (imagine quotation marks, please) Congratulations, sir! Enjoy your game.

Behind me, a large and friendly Nintendo Nerd (one of the absolutely nicest types of nerds, by the way. They are like giant happy teddy bears. Seriously. Try and find a Nintendo fanboy that is also a jerk. It can not be done. In lines for the PS3, people who got there to late to get one got mocked by the rest in line. In the Nintendo line? People in line gave out hugs. Seriously.) Anyways, this particular Nintendo Nerd, after receiving his console, raised it over his head triumphantly and made that sound from the Zelda games that plays whenever you open a treasure chest or get a new item. (You know the one I am talking about. You know? da da da DAHHHHH!!!!! That one.) We all laughed, but honestly? I think we ALL heard that sound in our heads when they handed the box over. He was just brave enough to actually vocalize it.

I brought it home, set it up, and turned it on. Rogue must have heard me, since she came sleepily down the stairs, asking (again, imaginary quotation marks people) Did we get one?

She quickly woke up. We fired it up, and we were off.

We have logged more than 40 hours on the dang thing. In about the span of a week. The thing? Is awesome. I know, I know, telling you to get one now is really quite mean, since they are pretty much all sold out. Still... when they get them back in stock? Pick one up. They are an absolute blast. Anyways, I am out of there. It is time to get the tires on my car rotated.

(Dang, Rogue; this typing without a hyphen or an apostraphe key sucks. We need to fix this.)

NaNoWriMo

2006-11-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

NaNoWriMo starts now.

Who's all in?

Wedding Pictures! Yay!

2006-10-30T20:41:00.000-08:00

New, "official," pictures of the coolest wedding EVER are now up at www.a-verymeadenwedding.com. You should probably check them out. They're pretty dang cool.

Also, if you need a wedding photographer? www.diannaclark.com. She's awesome.

Television Has Officially Been Saved

2006-10-30T20:22:00.000-08:00

This, my friends, is awesome news.

However, I see that you're skeptical.

You shouldn't be. Here's why:

1. It is a television show helmed by Tim Minear. Who? A fantastically creative mind that helped shape such shows as "Angel," "The Inside," "Wonderfalls," and a little show by the name of "Firefly." You remember Firefly, right? Because I'm pretty sure I have written about it about 20 million times before. Trust me - this guy is the real deal.

2. Screenings of the pilot have resulted in huge amounts of praise - praise that is usually not given to television shows. Plus? Joss Whedon loves it. Here are his exact words:

"Now if like me you're, yeah, awesome, Tim Minear comes over for dinner and shows
you the pilot of DRIVE. Which was, yeah, awesome. Tim described it to me as
"'Magnolia' with cars", which I got 'cause the characters are great, but that
didn't prepare me for the intense cool driving action or the gorgeous shooting.
Plus you can just see how the show works, which is not always the case with
pilots. (Of course, it helps to have Tim sit there and spell out the upcoming
twists, which is akin to watching them, as he's ever the spellbinder). Also,
ginormous props to my old pal Melanie Lynskey, who's magical in it. It should be
on TV; TV would be grateful. I'm just sayin'. -j."

3. Special effects are by Zoic. For non-geeks, this is the special effects company that was/is behind the industry-changing special effects found in "Firefly" and "Battlestar Galactica." They were the first to really use those awesome shaky-camera CGI zoom/blur shots that Industrial Light and Magic recently copied for the latest Pirates of the Carribean film. Here's a quote about the special effects in the opening sequence:

"The talk culminated in a five minute clip from a new pilot from Tim Minear
(with Loni supervising VFX) called Driven (or Drive, or something like that).
About an illeagal cross-country road race a la The Cannonball Run, it has
multiple characters who are all introduced in one take as they race across the
Florida Keys. How this single take is achieved, as the camera swoops into one
car for a dialogue scene then swoops out, winding between cars in classic action
movie chase/race scene motions, winding up on the next character's license plate
(so this one's from California, eh?) before craning up and into that car for
another dialogue scene, before swooping out, and so on, is a miracle of visual
effects co-ordination. I've never seen anything like it, and apparently it
combined green screen, cgi and live road footage. The planning must've been
enormous, however, and it all comes off totally seamlessly."

Remember - this is a television show.

4. It will be the closest thing that we'll get to a Whedonverse television show. (For those keeping track, it has been been nearly 3 years since "Angel" went off the air. Which is unacceptably wrong.)

5. It'll be awesome. Have I convinced you of this, yet?

I've actually been following this show for the past year or so - and it actually looked like Fox wasn't going to pick it up. Thankfully, they came to their senses. It'll begin airing in April, so HOPEFULLY they'll put it on after American Idol.

However.

This is Fox. The ones who cancelled "Firefly," "Wonderfalls," "the Insides," etc. Hopefully, they'll avoid their previous mistakes.

Hopefully.

*crosses all ten fingers, and hopes for the best*

Geek Overload

2006-10-04T23:13:00.000-07:00

So, Veronica Mars (the best show on currently on television) didn't get that great of ratings Tuesday night. This is unfortunate, because if it gets cancelled I will complain about it for the next 10 years.

So you? Need to watch. I mean it. Tuesdays, 9pm, The CW.

Also, Lost started up again tonight, but it really doesn't need the ratings. And, I'm assuming if you're a fan of the show you already knew that.

Finally, Battlestar Galactica (the best show on television not named "Veronica Mars") starts up again this Friday. You'd probably like it if you enjoy shows that cause you to think about questions like "Does humanity deserve to exist? And if so, at what cost?" It's on this Friday, 9pm, the SciFi channel.

...but really. Watch "Veronica Mars." Please?

A Small Request

2006-09-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

If you went to the wedding and took pictures, we have a small request.

Could you possibly send them to Rogue and I? If you have any handy, just send them to themeadens[at]gmail.com. It doesn't matter what they're of - us, other people, that strange person who kept staring at you - we're interested in them all. So, please? :)

We're also putting together some fun stuff for our website - hopefully it'll be going up soon, but the more we have, the more we can share. Also, if there's anything that you'd like to see added, or if you have any questions, just let us know. We really appreciate it!

Married! Yay!

2006-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

So. Quite a few people have commented on the slideshow/video we did for our wedding - and while I helped, the end result is truly because of Rogue's hard work.

What's that? You weren't able to SEE the awesome slideshow, because you didn't go? Never fear - Rogue and I have uploaded it to YouTube.

I kid you not - we are truly that awesome. True, it is a bit blurry and is not in it's original 1.3 gig glory, but hey - it's still pretty dang cool.

Enjoy. :)

It's Not A Tumor

2006-09-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the lack of posts. I owe several of you interview questions, I know. I am also miles behind my planned posting schedule, and I really hope that I can catch up sometime.

The reason for all this is two-fold - first, I am getting married.

This Saturday.

Surprisingly, neither Rogue nor myself have entered the fabled "meltdown stage." While certainly not perfect, things seem to be going along about as well as we could hope. We're tired, yes, but not unreasonably so.

The second reason for the lack of posts has to do with health issues. No, Rogue is ok - it's ME who's body is freaking out, this time. I have numerous moments during the day where I suddenly get dizzy - this isn't all, however, because seconds after the dizzyness hits I begin to have difficulty breathing.

This is where the fun starts.

Right when I begin to have to take deep breaths, I begin to lose the ability to articulate speech - it's slurred, and I often jumble words together. Finally, right after THAT begins I begin to lose motor functions on the right side of my body.

If this sounds alarming, take a breath, and refer to the title of this post - it's not a tumor.

It's not a series of strokes, either. We found this out when I finally let Rogue take me to the emergency room at 11pm on Friday night. We met a very cool doctor, and a couple very cool nurses, and they all did a bunch of tests on me. CAT scans, EKG's - it was just about as much fun as a guy can have at 2:30am, let me tell you. However, the tests looked clean, which meant that I wasn't in any immediate danger. However, this also means we're not sure what it is yet. I have another appointment tomorrow, so hopefully we will learn more soon.

Anyways, those are the main reasons for the lack of posts. I'm sorry, but I hope you'll understand. I'll try and keep updating this with more info as we get it, and I'll be sure to answer any questions you leave in the comments section.

Also, I'm hoping to upload one of the pictures of my brain from the CAT scan - that thing is pretty dang cool.

Fall TV Preview - Part .05

2006-08-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

So. Writing update. I am halfway through my post on the books I read this summer.

I am about 1/3 done with my post on the films I saw this summer.

I have barely started my post on all the music I found this summer.

And, finally, I am well on my way to finishing my post about the fall TV season.

So why am I posting a single, solitary piece of my fall preview now, instead of the whole thing when it's done?

For you, my loyal readers. For you.

What Is It? Heroes
When does it air? Sept 25, at 9:00pm

The buzz on "Heroes" is huge. Ads are all over the place - in theaters, on bus sides, newspapers, magazines - NBC must have spent a fortune on advertising this thing. And it's an alluring premise - ordinary people who find out that they aren't exactly so ordinary. Some of them have flat out awesome powers - others, not so much. But it's fairly clear from the first episode that these people are being brought together for something - which is kinda cool. In fact, that's the coolest thing about the premise - there are a ton of directions they can take the show, and almost all of them would be great. Also, Bryan Fuller (of "Wonderfalls" and "Dead Like Me" fame) has come aboard to help guide the show, so it has a rather large amount of promise.

But, promise isn't any help if the show sucks. Luckily, it doesn't. Rogue and I had the chance to check out the pilot a few weeks ago, and it looks like "Heroes" will be quite a bit of fun. There's a LOT of storylines thrown in, but most of them work quite well. True, a few don't quite catch your attention as much as the others, but I have faith that they'll pull them up to the level of the others. You'll get no less than four "holy crap!" moments - some them caught me completely by surprise. (For instance? Invincible girl + hand + garbage disposal: you do the math.) It's a far cry from "Lost's" pilot episode, but it's definitely good enough to check out - also, there's nothing else good on at the time, anyways.

So. Why am I telling you this so early? Because you can be JUST as cool as Rogue and I, and check out the pilot on iTunes - starting today, Sept 1st, the "Heroes" pilot is on sale for $1.99. It's well worth the $2, and you'll also be able to tell ALL your friends about how cool the show is. Or, how much you hated it. Your choice.

A Short Quiz, With Answers Following

2006-08-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

How it works:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The Questions: (submitted by Thea)

1. What is your most favorite movie ever, and why?

I hate questions like this. Not because I don't know the answer - but because I know the answer far too well. And, it should be mentioned that I believe their's a vast difference between my "favorite" movies and what I consider to be the best films of all time - I will readily admit that I often love films that have large, vast problems with them. If I'm going to call a film one of my favorites, I have to be able to watch it over, and over, and over again, never once getting bored. (My own criteria? I have to have seen it three times or more, with a minimum of one of those viewings on DVD at home. And, it has to have been at least a year since I first saw it. I take these things a bit seriously.) It has to be a film that has somehow made an impact on my life, leaving a noticeable impact. Right now, my "favorite" list stands at around 20-30 films, but we don't have time for that sort of thing. So. My favorite film, ever? "The Empire Strikes Back." Why? Because, in my mind, it's the epitome of what a film should be. Epic, larger than life - but wonderfully personal. Flawed heroes, gorgeous scenery, vast and incredible vistas and set pieces; this is the very definition of space fantasy. The AT-AT walkers slowly approaching the Hoth base, the Millinium Falcon dancing through the asteroid field, Cloud City, the swamp, the freezing chamber, Yoda, Vader, Boba-freaking-Fett, the instantly recognizeable (and still powerful) Imperial March, the "I know", and the mythology that holds it all together - it all causes me to immediately sit down with a smile on my face. George Lucas' recent efforts may be a bit dubious, but here he was still drawing from the strongest archetypes you can find, pulling themes, storylines, and characters from a well that goes back thousands of years. You want your material to resound? Just look at history. We recognize these stories, because they go back as far as we've been writing things down on paper. It's about love, loss of innocence (and belief), good vs evil, destiny - and spaceships. Also? The freaking Battle of Hoth, people. Come on. Who doesn't love it?

2. Dream job! What is it?

An author, or sceenwriter. Actually, Neil Gaiman already has my dream job. But, I love my job that I have now - I would just love being one of those more. :)

3. You're getting married next month. Tell me the weirdest thing you guys registered for, and whether or not you really think anyone will buy it for you.

Well, it's not really the weirdest, but Rogue let me register for this thing right here. And no, I really don't think we'll get it. :-D

4. Let's say someone forced you, at knifepoint, to do karaoke, but you can pick any song you want. Which song do you choose?

"Where the Zero Meets the 15," Five Iron Frenzy - because it's just fun.

5. What is your earliest memory? What is your best memory? (Okay, I cheated--that's two questions, I know.)

Earliest memory would have to be my Grandpa taking me to the video arcade in the mall, and then out for ice cream - he died soon after. In fact, I think it's the only memory I have of him, and I'm so thankful that I have it. Best memory? Waking up at 6:30am, walking out of my tent, and having my devotions in a field of grass, surrounded by cliffs and waterfalls hundreds and hundreds of feet tall, smack dab in the middle of Switzerland. That whole summer was inccredible, but that memory specifically is something I will never, ever forget.

Answer away!

KIDNAP THE SANTY CLAWS

2006-08-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

This? Is awesome.

Links and Such

2006-08-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't mentioned this yet, and I probably should - Rogue and I's wedding website is up. You've probably already been there - Rogue's had the link up for a while now. However, if you somehow missed it, now is your chance. It was designed and put together by Rogue, we both helped with the writing, and I scanned the pictures and worked on the webhosting side of things. Teamwork - it is a beautiful thing. It's still being tweaked a bit, so if you find any broken links, or have any suggestions, please let us know! Oh, and here's the address: www.a-verymeadenwedding.com

In other news, some of our best friends have found themselves recently pregnant-fied. (Yay for them!) There's a blog (writting from the man's point of view) about the whole thing - you may check it out right here: http://stretchmarks28.blogspot.com

It's About Freaking Time

2006-08-04T01:07:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, a movie by the name of "Hellboy" was released. It was (and is) considered by many to be one of the finest action films in recent memory - I'm one of the people who hold this position.

It did pretty well in the theaters, but the studio never announced a sequel. Guillermo del Toro, the director (and co-writer), shopped around a sequel all over Hollywood, and everyone passed. The story is written, Mike Mignola and del Toro were both excited to finish the screenplay, and all of the cast of the first film said (quite vocally) that they'd love to be in a sequel. Still, no dice. In fact, it was starting to look very much like a sequel would never happen.

And then, tonight, it's been announced that a studio has stepped up to fund and distribute the film. And that studio is none other than Universal, the very same studio that gave "Serenity" it's home. It's set to be released in 2008, among films such as "The Dark Knight," "Iron Man," and the Wolverine spin-off. That is pretty stinking cool.

And, for those that passed on the first film? Time to play catch-up.

A Show of Hands, If You Will

2006-07-29T01:20:00.000-07:00

Which would you prefer:

1.) A post covering all the summer movies thus far

2.) A post covering all the books I've read thus far this summer

3.) Or a post talking about all the summer music I've bought

Let me know in the comments - I'll make sure to write about the one I receive the most feedback for, and I might get around to doing the second favorite as well. If I get enough comments, I might even do all three.

However, if I fail to get any comments, I'll simply assume you are not interested, and won't write about any of them.

Oh, and I have internet again. In case you couldn't tell. :)

Great Odin's Beard!

2006-07-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

thatoneguy reviews...

"American Gods"
by Neil Gaiman

There are "American" books, and then there are books that somehow define America. These are the rare books that perfectly capture the heart and soul of our young (and extremely eccentric) country, books such as "Huckleberry Finn," "The Great Gatsby," "The Scarlett Letter," and "Uncle Tom's Cabin." You may feel free to add "American Gods" to this list.

And yes, I fully realize what a strong statement that is.

"American Gods" follows the adventures of Shadow - a man who's just about to be released from prison. He's lucky - he has a wife who loves him, a friend who's giving him a job, and the moral steadfastness to ensure that he'll never go back. Things are looking bright, until he gets word that his wife has died, just moments before he receives his freedom. Left with nothing to live for, he somehow gets mixed up in the affairs of Wednesday, an odd man with some extremely eccentric friends. Soon enough, Shadow comes to the realization that "Wednesday" is, in fact, Odin, and he finds himself mixed up in the affairs of the gods. He has to find his place in their (and his) world, come to grips with his wife's death, and try and figure out exactly he has in his future that is worth looking living for.

This is the "plot," of "American Gods," but it's really not what it's about. It's a moving and breathaking story of America and it's people, with an eye looking back at it's roots and a glance at it's future. It somehow perfectly captures a side of this country that is rarely portrayed so eloquently, if at all. It's a celebration of the vastly different people groups that founded this country, and the gods and faiths that they brought with them.

It surprised me, so much that I stayed up to 4 in the morning reading it - only to fall sleep with the book still open. It is, in essence, a good book, the kind that takes both your imagination and your mind and whisks them away to a place where you're enthralled, thrilled, moved, and challenged.

What? A Kid's Movie? Scary? You'd Better Believe It.

2006-07-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

thatoneguy reviews "Monster House"

"Monster House" is a film that has a surprising amount of oddities associated with it. It's a Halloween film that's being released in July, it's a "kid's movie" that isn't meant for small children, and it's being billed as a Nickelodeon-esque comedy/adventure when it's really a surprisingly scary horror film - meant for kids. Yes. I said horror film. Without giving it away, let me just say this - this film doesn't pull a Scooby Doo. The "Monster House" in question? It honestly, truly, eats people. Adults, kids, pets - it lures them to it's door, and eats them.

It's a film that is completely out of place in the current family film market - and thank goodness, too. It brings back memories of a time where the heroes of a children's adventure would actually *act* like children, and not act like some idealized caricature of what "grownups" would want their children to act like. The adults aren't trustworthy, kids trashtalk each other, and the babysitter is horrific. These kids have imaginations, they play, they joke, they... seem real.
If your mind is flashing back to films like "The Goonies," "E.T.," and the "Back to the Future" films, you're on the right track. "Monster House" is about as close to an 80s shoutout as you can get. The result is a surprisingly real feeling film, despite the fact that A) it's computer animated and B) it's about a house that eats people.

And, you really need to know where you stand on this before you take your kids to see this. The kids act like real kids. And, while it never quite goes so far as to have kids calling each other "penis breath" (E.T.) or having kids drop the s-word (The Goonies), it at times reaches a point where you might begin to think that they've gone too far for a kids movie. This film completely avoids the "wink wink, nod nod" tone of the Shrek films, and just puts things as they are. It doesn't sugar coat things and doesn't hide any of the humor behind a wall that only adults will recognize. It is what it is. And, here's the odd thing - while it IS dark, scary, and a little crass, I consider "Monster House" to be miles more acceptable than many of the so-called "kid's films" that have hit the theaters recently.

The film is fun, surprising, funny, and (at times) surprisingly scary. It's a horror film for the whole family, and that's a rare thing. It's definitely worth checking out, but you should think for a bit before taking the young ones. If you don't want your children thinking about death, don't take them. If you don't want your kids ever thinking ill of authority figures, don't take them. If you try to keep your children from having imaginary adventures about monsters that eat people, don't take them. And, by all means, if your kids are easily frightened (or if YOU'RE easily frightened), DO NOT take them.

If, however, you trust your children, take them. If you want to experience an exciting thrill ride that both you AND your children can enjoy, even though parts of the journey might be a little frightening, take them. If you are willing to concede that kids will, in the end, be kids, then take them. If you want to revisit your own childhood, and remember what it was like to be a kid, then you should definitely give "Monster House" a chance. It might seem out of place in the overly sanitized kid's market of today, but trust me - this is a GOOD thing.

First time director Gil Kenan has knocked it out of the park - this is fun film. It feels a lot like one of those old school Disney films, before things got so insanely sanitized. It dares to dream up a dark adventure film that's actually an adventure, and ends up being wonderfully resonant, whether you're 12, 22, or older. Go see it - I promise that you'll be surprised. (And, hopefully, in a good way.)

Note: This film comes out this Friday, and I've heard this film is utterly phenomenal in 3-D - if you have a theater screening it in 3-D, then place this on your "must see" list. And as always, let me know what you think!

What? Me? Gone? Pshaw.

2006-07-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

It's true. I have moved. It's done. I've handed in the keys to my old apartment, kicked the dust off my sandals, and have begun to settle in a new location. And I'm exhausted.

Moving is scary to me. You see, I find that my much of my self perception is intrinsicly linked to my living situations - you can trace the different "versions" of Jason to where I'm living at the time. Which makes sense, to a degree - the place where you sleep at night will affect you, whether or not you're happy with that fact. But to be honest, I think it's the packing that truly scares me. Here's my life - all my possesions, both bought and given, all put in little boxes. Empty rooms, vacant closets... emptiness permeates your life, and it can be extremely disconcerting. These things that you rely on, your crutches - they aren't there when you need them. You can't get comfortable, and you can't rest - because you aren't allowed access to the things that are required for rest or relaxation. Your routine is shattered, your possessions gone - and all that's left is you.

No crutches. No possesions. Nothing to hide behind. Just... you. And that is really, really, really not so fun - it's the equivalent of standing naked before a mirror (Please, people - mind your mental thoughts here. I'm nearly a married man.) You see some things you like, but what they say is true - you ARE your own harshest critic.

When everything else is stripped away, I feel like my every flaw is wide open for all to see. I have no retreat, no place of safety. And then you just pick up, and move. And you have a fresh start.

What do you do? Do you stay the same? Do you use this change to make OTHER changes? How DO you redefine yourself? What do you use this opportunity for? What will this new space be? (And really - how is it that we can take some random physical space of emptiness and assign it the identity of "home"? How do we do that? And, what's even MORE crazy, in a few short months I'll be sharing this home with Sarah - it'll be our home, not my home. Empty rooms. Home. OUR home. I don't get it.) And, really - what will this place I'll come to call "home" hold in store for me? Happiness? Tears? Joy? I know one thing it won't hold in store for me - television.

That's right. I cut out cable tv. (Ha! How'd you like THAT tranistion sentance? Marty Trammell, eat your heart out.)

And I cut my TiVo account.

I'm going to try to live without it and see how it goes. I was finding myself watching television instead of reading books, or watching films - and while the television I *do* watch is generally good enough to be called "art," and is worth time and study (Well, except "Survivor," maybe. It's my weakness), I found that I missed reading. I missed watching films. I missed music. And yeah, I still did all those things... but I just did them a lot less. Moving to a new apartment was a perfect time to make this change. We'll see how it goes.

And yes, you ARE allowed to place bets on the outcome - there are already several who say I won't last past September. They might be right.

Also?

Rogue and I have DS Lites.

And they are beyond awesome.

But, I think that's a topic for another day.

*Jason's note: This was written a few weeks ago. I stole Rogue's Powerbook (She's taking a nap right now), and quick uploaded this. A lot has changed, and there is much I'd like to add, but instead of performing a huge rewrite I'm just going to post it as-is. I still kinda like it, even though this isn't my exact frame of mind at this time. I have TONS of stuff to post, too - I've kept writing, even though I have no way of uploading it. My guess is after I sort through it, perhaps 30% of it will see light of day. We shall see. I'll try and steal Sarah's laptop again soon - I've been away FAR too long. And, hopefully the next posts will be a little more fun, and a little less heavy. And yes - I love the apartment, still don't have cable or tivo, and we still play our DS Lites every day. Go us!

Here's the Deal

2006-06-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

What's that? You didn't reserve your DS Lite? You're bored?

Go see "A Prairie Home Companion." It looks like it is not even going to break $5 million this weekend, and that simply will not do. It isn't playing here in Tri-Cities, so... go see it for me, ok? Please? "Cars" will wait. "The Omen" is not that good. You've already seen X3.

So go see "A Prairie Home Companion." I am pretty sure you'll like it.

That's all.

cuteness^2

2006-05-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

A brand new MacBookPro.

A little kitten.

All you tech geeks out there will cringe. Everyone else?

"Awww!!! He's so cute!"

really expensive cat toy

It is worth noting that it is not my MacBookPro. Also? Not my kitten, though my kitten DOES like to do this to the monitor I have hooked up to my MacMini. She usually just falls off the desk, though.

Screw You, Sun

2006-05-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

You need to understand something - when I say that "It is hot," I mean that it is indeed hot. This might seem overly simplified, but it's important - I am not exaggerating. It is hot. Grossly, disgustingly, horrifically hot. I do not care where you live - the temperature is not supposed to climb to 103 degrees on May18th. It is completely and totally unacceptable.

And yes, I knew it was coming. I've lived here for *almost* a year now, and I've experienced the hellish heat that comes with living in the Tri-Cities in the summertime. However, in MAY? How the crap does that even happen? And, what's worse?

People here seem to like it. They are cheerful about it. They're blissfully basking in the midst of this skin melting crap. "Gorgeous day, isn't it Jason?" "Man, it makes you want to take a picnic!" "Oh, I could stay out here all day - couldn't you, Jason?"

Do you know what I say to them? Nothing. Do you know what I WANT to say to them? Do you?

Keep on wondering - my relatives and other various innocents read this blog, and there's no way on earth that I am going to subject them to that sort of violence and language.

It's an entirely new phenomina to me - over on God's side of Washington, we'd happily complain about the weather. "Sheesh, it's raining again?" "When on earth are we going to get some SUN?" "Overcast, as usual - our weather sucks."

But here's a little hint, a secret that few even know: We like it. No, wait - we love it. That rain is our little secret, our little joy. Others may not understand it, but that's ok - it's ours. We may SAY that we wish it wouldn't rain, but if it went away? We'd be lost. It's calming, relaxing, and it washes everything away. It's a reminder that even though we have all this pollution and crap in our world, it can be washed away. Tomorrow, we will wake up and find a crisp green world, alive and renewed. And, while we sleep, those little falling drops of life speak to us and hold us in our sleep. When it rains, things are ok.

It doesn't rain here often. And you simply can not complain about the weather. If you do, people say "What did you expect? SEATTLE?" And they are cheerful about it. And it sucks.

Part of it is that my car doesn't have air conditioning. Part of it is that I drive to work during the heat of the day. Part of it is that I don't really own that many light clothes. But mostly? I miss my rain. And as I wipe the salty stinging sweat from my eyes, I imagine rain. Because I'm tired of heat, I'm tired of dust, and I'm tired of being tired. And summer has yet to begin.

But just when things become too much, something shifts in the wind... and the forecast for tonight?

Thunderstorms. And that, my friends, is awesome.

2006-05-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

I'm getting pretty tired of these "little" posts, and I'm sure you all are too. However, indulge me one last time, alright? Do you love videogames? If so, have you seen this video? It's a clip of someone learning how to play the new Mario game (tentatively called "Super Mario Galaxy") on the Wii.

And it is deliriously awesome. For someone who grew up playing Mario games, this looks like pure crack - in fact, I was so caught up in it that I caught myself shaking the mouse back and forth when the screen said "Shake the controller left and right when you're under a star."

There's been LOADS of huge info pouring out of E3 thus far (And I'll get to most of that later, after E3 is done), but this is the first piece of info that has thrilled this little gamer's heart.

2006-05-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

I have been seriously - seriously seriously - slacking in the blogging department. And I apologize. I have 7 half written posts, it's just a matter of which one gets finished first. Until then, however, I thought I'd share this:

concept by Rogue

photography by the very awesome Dave Patrick

edited by me

go here for the big version

HECK. YEAH.

2006-05-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

FINALLY.

I am, in case you can't tell, TOTALLY geeking out right now. It's about time!

Just A Hunch...

2006-04-05T02:10:00.000-07:00

...but I'm pretty sure that Jesus would be totally OK with this Bible.

In fact, I bet He'd help hand them out. American Bible Association? You might, you know, want to actually READ the book that you're making once in a while. Just a suggestion.

My Thursday Morning

2006-03-25T01:47:00.000-08:00

I absolutely hate going to the dentist.

The various reasons for my strong hatred are, of course, extremely varied and have origins that are shrowded by mental blocks that are best left, well, blocked. I have a few theories, though. For instance - I hate needles. They freak the crap out of me. Not needles by themselves, per-se - they are inert pieces of metal that tend to stay put unless someone is holding them. No, I don't hate needles themselves - I hate needles when they come into contact with me. It's like all I can feel is this piece of metal sliding it's way through my skin, pushing aside little molecules to make it's way. And everything - my thoughts, my sense of touch, EVERYTHING - is tuned soley to that little piece of metal. And then, my brain freaks out. It makes no logical sense - my brain just refuses to cope with the situation, and tries to shut down. I don't get it, and I really don't think my brain does either. We just do. Not. Like. Them. They are unacceptable to us.

So, knowing that, how do you think I'm going to respond to a situation where a needle roughly (read: nowhere near) the size of an ice pick comes into contact with my MOUTH?

Here's a hint: not well.

Another crucial piece to this irrational dentist hate that I have is the fact that my teeth have a consistency that totally sucks. How bad is it? Let me put it this way. You have two huge pieces of rock - one made out of my teeth, one made out of, say, sandstone. You are building a house, and need to pick which one to build it on. If you want the best bet for your house, you choose the sandstone.

I am not joking. I floss twice a day. I brush at least twice a day. I use listerine twice a day, too. I have eight (8) cavities. Are you beginning to understand?

I had four fillings done yesterday - the "bad" ones. I knew going in what was going to be done - you get as many fillings as I do, and you kinda get a feel for how bad things are, and what your visit is going to be like. I knew that this one was going to suck.

And it did.

It's 8am. I am sitting in the chair of pain, and my dentist comes in

- Side note. How on earth does anyone grow up and be a dentist? I mean, who ever says, "You know, I want to stare into people's mouths for the rest of my life"? It's weird. I can't shake this feeling that, somehow, every dentist watched "Little Shop of Horrors" as a child, saw Steve Martin's role, and ran over to their Mommy's lap whispering excitedly "Mommy... I want to do THAT when I grow up!" and they smile this sweet little smile and you know, you just know, that they've been taken over by evil for the rest of their life. And their Mom cries tears of joy and pride, because A) she's just gotten free dental care for the rest of her life and B) her kid is going to be able to buy her cruise trips and crap for all the birthdays of the rest of her life. -

and she say's, "Alright, are you ready?"

My mind says, "Do your worst, Satan-spawn."

My voice says, "Yup, all ready!"

Embodiment-of-Sauron says, "Ok, lean back..."

Normally, this is the part where they shine the light in your eyes so you can't see the gigantic needle they're about to shove into your mouth. I like this. I prefer this. I can tell myself that it's not a needle being shoved into my gumline or cheek, it's just a little pinch as they poke and prod around. But with no light to blind me, I see it. And I see the Bride-of-Vader pushing it into my mouth. My brain, of course, takes emergency action, flashing through myriads of events and subjects, trying to find ANYTHING to take my mind off the fact that there is one unGodly sized needle currently lodged in MY MOUTH.

A hundred shots later (or so it feels like), and we're done. She-Devil and her minion leave me sit for a while so that the beautiful bliss that is known as topical anesthetic takes hold of my nervous system. First, my tongue. Then my lower cheek. It spreads, and soon the entire right side of my mouth is happily oblivious - I amuse myself by poking it, since I can't feel anything. (It feels like rubber - and it's weird.)

Barry Manilow's Mother: "Well, if it's numb, we can get started!"

They start the usual crap - putting metal in your mouth, placing up little tents of rubber to keep area dry, suctioning out all the water, etc...

Voldemort's Love Child: "Ok. Let me tell you what's happened, here..."

I don't NEED to know, lady, please - I get it, I have cavities! Let's just fix them, and we can both go on to more pleasant things!

"...and you see, these cavities are like little moles, digging their way through your teeth..."

What the HECK? Freaking MOLES? Lady, let's just get a MOVE ON, ok - WHAT? SHE IS DIGGING WITH HER HANDS, LIKE A LITTLE MOLE WOULD. I KID YOU NOT.

"...and so, one of your cavities is really close to your nerve, so I will not lie to you - It will hurt a lot. You will feel pain for quite some time, afterwards."

Oh... I get it. This is why you're so happy. This is why you're doing the mole-dance. I get it. Dance little mole-lady, dance. Dance the dance of mole joy. Because I can take it. I can take the pain. I can take the - what? She's still talking...

"...and I like to listen to a little music, while I work, is that ok? Alright, I'll just turn on the radio here..."

She's won. I've given up, completely. Because just then, when I'm at my weakest, she unleashes the pure life force of Hell upon me. She shows no mercy.

What did she do? She turned the radio to smooth jazz. I had lost. Utterly and completely.

It was going to be a very long two hours.

Call Me What You Want - I Regret Nothing

2006-03-21T23:42:00.000-08:00

It is true.

My new computer looks like this:
And I love it. I love it with a love that rivals the love I have for my TiVo. After ~~using~~ fighting a Windows PC for 12+ years, using my new Mac Mini is pure bliss. And worry not - my PC has been placed in it's proper place - as a backup media server attached to my television and surround sound.

Yes, you may call me a traitor. You can call me an abomination, a horrible horrific digusting Mac Fanboy, a poor deluded fool who knows not what he says.

But. To all those who would cast stones, I have only one thing to say:

If being wrong feels this good, then I never ever want to be right.

Color Me Surprised (What Color Would "Surprised" Be, Anways?)

2006-03-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

I have had an unprecented amount of feedback for the last few of my posts. And not just in the comments, either. MySpace messages, IMs, and even e-mails! I've received them all, and it's rather unsettling. Because, really, I always convince myself that there are only 3.28 people that read this site - and then I look at my site stats, or get some random e-mail from someone I haven't seen in over seven years saying "I read your blog!" and I suddenly remember: This is the internet. People READ things on it.

And, once in a while, they respond. And when they do, they respond in a big way. And so, you may consider this post an "update," if you will, to previous posts.

My "Cell" review:

They're making "Cell" into a film. And this is a really, really bad idea. And not because of all the bad things I said about the book, but because of all the GOOD parts of the book. That is to say, the things that "work" in the book aren't the things that will translate well to film. Well, except crazy phone-zombies tearing each other to pieces, to which I say: Awesome. But the book had some huge pacing problems as it is, and this is just going to completely cripple the film at every moment. That is, unless they completely change the plot, which would just make it another zombie movie, with just the "evil cell phones" theme remaining. Actually, thinking about it, that actually might not be half bad, except the director has vowed to keep the film totally faithful to the book. Which, of course they would - Hollywood just loves to screw things up and change everything, until something NEEDS to be changed, and all of a sudden they're like, "What? But why would we CHANGE this? It's brilliant!" This is the reason why we get films like "The Shaggy Dog," people.

And while we are still on the topic of my "Cell" review... One of the e-mails I received went something along these lines: "I know FOR A FACT that you've read 'Moby Dick' twice, so don't you DARE try and pull that "Oh, I'm not as high-brow as everyone else, woe is me" crap." And... guilty as charged. I really didn't intend for the whole thing to come across as me mocking Rogue or Thea - I check their sites everyday, and I have nothing but the largest amount of respect for them. (Have you SEEN the books they read?) The original intent was actually to make fun of myself - I was going to have that opening paragraph, and then do a detailed literary critique of "Cell," thus making myself a hypocrite and making the whole thing really funny. However, the "critique" didn't really work. It wasn't funny, and it wasn't even helpful to anyone. It just came across as dumb and overly-pretentious, so I canned it. I chopped out tons of things, switched things around, and added quite a bit - I think I ended up saving maybe 20% of what I originally wrote. However, I forgot to change the opening paragraph. The unintended effect of this was A) that it suddenly sounded like I was mocking Rogue and Thea, when I wasn't, and B) made it seem like I didn't read (or even enjoy reading) "important" books, which isn't exactly true. And while the whole thing ended up being pretty funny, I really wish I had gone over that paragraph and changed it up a bit. But if wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak right about now.

The Oscars

So, wait - I get a grand total of ZERO COMMENTS on my Oscar posts for the last few years, and NOW you all miss them? Next time, I WILL do them, I promise. And, surprise surprise, they actually ended up being worth watching. Jon Stewart brought the funny, and the Brokeback effect wasn't really half as big as everyone thought it would be. And of course, this is pissing people off. In fact, many of the commentators are claiming that this is a blatant example of homophobia.

And here we have it - proof, solid proof, of the sheer stupidity of Hollywood. They've created a logic loop so insidious that I'm expecting the whole greater L.A. area to go "poof" and dissapear at any second. I'm going to try and follow this line of thought, but a fair warning to all those reading: Be prepared to be utterly confused.

When "Brokeback Mountain" came out, nearly all the reviews insisted that it was not a "gay film" - it was a love story, who's main characters happen to be men. In fact, we should just forget about the gay thing - it's just a beautiful love story. This was the general consensus, and it seemd to work, since the film has made over $70 million dollars in the US alone. (Which really completely shatters any claim that this film is "indie" or "underground" - this thing made more than "The Island" and "Serenity" combined.)

Then comes the Oscar season. The buzz is huge. And...it doesn't win Best Picture. And, suddenly, it's because of "the gay factor." The Acadamy is homophobic! How dare they pick "Crash" as the Best Picture!

And this is the exact moment where my mind attempts to implode, because weren't they all just saying a few months ago that this film wasn't really about the gay issue? And if this is the case, it's understandable that it didn't win - because it's basically a chick flick with rugged cowboys. If the film was centered around a hetero couple, would anyone be surprised when it didn't win? Of course not, because that's not an issue - it happens all the time. And, of course, to win "Best Picture" you have to hit a Big Issue. And you just can't have it both ways - it's not hard to understand this. And besides, calling Hollywood homophobic is just hilarious in and of itself.

There is yet another side to this whole big deal as well - isn't rascism more important than being gay or straight? Isn't it more prevalent? If you insist on the Acadamy rewarding the film that addresses the biggest issue, well, you can't get more relevant than racism. And say what you want about "Crash" - that film will make you think, no joke. It's been four weeks, and I'm STILL thinking about it.

But really, this is a whole bunch of words about something that will blow over in a few weeks time. And, as a whole, the Oscars rocked this year - Rachel Weisz won, which is awesome, and Jon Stewart brought the funny (As did Ben Stiller).

Finally, to close off this whole thing, I have two questions:

Would you want to read a review of the awesomely craptacular "Ultraviolet"?

And do you want me to "officially" review "Crash"?

Bored Now

2006-03-05T01:24:00.000-08:00

Every *other* year, I've done a huge post thing where I go through all the Oscar categories, and do some sort of in depth commentary/prediction. This year, not so much. Why?

Because I'm pretty sure that it bores the crap out of all of you. Also? I think the Oscars are going to bore the crap out of me too, this year. It is "Brokeback's" year, that's for sure, but my thoughts on that whole thing would best be saved for a later time, I think. In fact, I really doubt there will be *any* surprises this year - and, since all the predicted winners pretty much bore me, I think I'll be watching for two sole reasons: To watch Jon Stewart, and to see "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" performed for the "Best Song" category. Oh yes. It will awesome. But other than that, I think the forecast is calling for large amounts of boredom, with a small chance of indifference.

However. Traditions are traditions, so I'm going to give you my thoughts in a nice short and sweet little post.

Go Munich (won't win), go Philip Seymore Hoffman (will win), go every single woman in the "Best Actress" category (but especially Keira Knightly who won't win), go George Clooney (will probably win), GO RACHEL WEISZ (WILL win, thankfully), go George Cloony again, go "The Constant Gardener" and "Pride and Prejudice," go "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp," go "Wallace and Gromit," and go "King Kong" for all the technical awards it's up for.

Oh, and Acadamy? Screw you for not nominating "Revenge of the Sith" for best visual effects. And for not working "Serenity" in there for "Best Adapted Screenplay."

Why are you all looking at me funny? A guy can dream, right?

I'm going to bed now. I'll let you know what I thought of the whole thing in the comments below, after A) it's all over or B) I wake up from the nap that it's probably going to put me in.

Things To Do and See

2006-02-24T07:23:00.000-08:00

Odds and ends, if you will:

Those that A) love great literature or B) love great Sci-Fi are already at least somewhat familier with Philip K Dick and his works - most likely, you've read at least one of his books (or seen a film that was based on one.) "A Scanner Darkly," one of his finest works, has been made into a film by the great Richard Linklater. You can watch the new trailer for it right here - you will need Quicktime, of course. Since "Serenity" has come and gone, I find myself having a more and more "bleh" reaction to most of the films coming up in the immediate future. However, this trailer? Rocks. I'm not sure if it's the incredible visuals, the fact that it looks to be VERY true to the source material, or the awesome soundtrack - but it is a pretty dang good trailer. For those wondering, the film was roto-scoped - that is, it was filmed and then run through a process that "animates" each frame. The result is something that is pretty dang cool, and miles and miles more advanced than earlier films that did this. All in all, it looks to be worth checking out. Also, it made me want to run down to the bookstore to pick up a copy of "A Scanner Darkly" - it's been way too long since I've read that book.

I caught the tail-end of an awesome piece about violence in entertainment on NPR the other day, and I quickly looked around to see if I could dig up the whole show in audio format. It featured an extremely fascinating (and fun) interview with Chuck Palahniuk. I found it, and you can listen to the show in pieces right here, however, if you have iTunes (and you really should), you can just click right here to get the free podcast of it. (It helps if you have iTunes open before clicking.) It's an absolutely awesome interview, no matter what you think of Palahniuk's books. In fact, he's almost the exact opposite of what you'd expect from someone who's books tend to be, well, rather dark. It's an absolute "must listen" if you have any sort of interest in art, literature, film, music, whatever - it's worth it.

Finally, I've been a lover of Television Without Pity for quite some time now, but I've never been able to find a way to directly tell you guys to go there. Until now. For those that don't know what TWoP is all about, they're a "recap" website - the people there get paid to write recaps of television shows. Sound dumb and pathetic? It's not. Each recap is generally 10 to 25 pages long, and they put some amazing work into these things - they're funny, they're harsh, and they're insightful, oftentimes delving into the symbolism and philosophy that can be found. (You may laugh, but shows such as "Battlestar Galactica" or "Angel" or "Firefly" are FILLED with this sort of stuff.) They never fail to call out any television show that's anything less than perfect - in fact, the only shows that regularily get decent grades are "Veronica Mars," "Grey's Anatomy," and the aforementioned "Battlestar Galactica" - and even these shows aren't safe from being ripped to shreds at a single miss-step. So why am I finally pointing them out? Because of "Serenity," of course. They've done a recap that rings in at thirty five (35!) pages long, and it's basically the review that I wanted to do SO badly, but never had the guts to do. They delve into some pretty deep stuff (which you can ALWAYS do with Joss' stuff), and point out some connections to "Brave New World" and "The Tempest" that I had never noticed before. (Which...makes me feel pretty stupid, actually.) It's thoughtful, intelligent, and tons of fun. You can read it right here. Also, be warned - there's a definitely some language there that you might not enjoy.

You'll Never Quite Look At Your Cell Phone In The Same Way

2006-02-22T16:18:00.000-08:00

If you are anything at all like me, you have often read rogue or thea's book review blog and thought to yourself, "These girls are smart." And then, after reading some incredibly in depth and insightful look into some book that you've never read, let ALONE heard of, you might think, "...I am not worthy of reading this material. It is, in essence, beyond me. I will never attain such heights, such glorious insight." And then we go and watch American Idol or something. I am here to tell you, people - they are not above us. They are DIFFERENT from us. Yes, we will let them have their fancy/schmancy reviews, their exclamations of glorious joy that stem from reading something that we may never quite understand. Well, ok - maybe if we put a lot of effort or time into it. But that? Ain't going to happen. I like some "high class" now and then, make no mistake - but a lot of the time? I'm watchin' my "American Idol," or "Survivor," or yes - the Olympics. I'm reading my "Star Wars" books. And I'm reading stuff like "Cell." Because zombies made by cell phones? I am SO there. I mean, look at the cover - a cell phone, in a pool of blood. It does not get any more obvious than that. I mean, you know what you're getting - Zombies, cell phones, and blood. At least, you *think* that is what you're getting. Does "Cell" really deliver? Well...

thatoneguy reviews...

"CELL"
by Stephen King

On October 1, God is in His heaven, the stock market stands at 10,140, most of the planes are on time, and Clayton Riddell, an artist from Maine, is almost bouncing up Boylston Streen in Boston. He's just landed a comic book deal that might finally enable him to support his family by making art instead of teaching it. He's already picked up a small (but expensive!) gift for his long-suffering wife, and he knows just what he'll get for his boy Johnny. Why not a little treat for himself? Clay's feeling good about the future.

That changes in a hurry. The cause of the devastaion is a phenomenon that will come to be known as The Pulse, and the delivery method is a cell phone. Everyone's cell phone. Clay and the few desperate survivors who join him suddenly find themselves in the pitch-black night of civilization's darkest age, surrounded by chaos, carnage, and a human horde that has been reduced to it's basest nautre . . . and then begins to evolve.

There's really no esacping this nightmare. But for Clay, an arror points home to Maine, and as he and his fellow refugees make their harrowing jouney north they begin to see crude signs confirming their direction: KASHWAK=NO-FO. A promise, perhaps. Or a threat . . .

There are one hundred and ninety-three million cell phones in the United States alone. Who doesn't have one?

Whether or not Stephen King is a truly great writer has yet to be decided. It is true that many of his books are truly great - "The Stand," "The Shining," "Misery," "The Green Mile," and the "Dark Tower" series are all of enough quality to be honestly called art (As is his novella "The Mist" - that story freaked me the heck out). There are also many books that may be considered just "good," or "good-ish" - "'Salem's Lot," "Carrie," "The Dead Zone," "Pet Sematary," and "Bag of Bones" all fall into this category. However, far too many of his books fall flatly into the "lacking" or "just plain bad" category. (I'm looking at you, "Tommyknockers," "Dreamcatcher," and "From a Buick 8.")

His writing style is not really artistic or anything special - but it does have a certain rythym to it, a flow that can be distinctly attributed to him. Certain themes, events, and plot lines invariably pop up in nearly every one of his books - call them his calling card, if you will. (Or call it his crutch, if you'd rather.) He tends to write what he knows, and he generally writes what he knows quite well.

His short stories are phenominal, that is certain - he's able to prompt an incredible array of human emotion and feeling in the matter of a few short pages. And yes, quite often the human emotion he most invokes in any of his stories is one of absolute terror. However, his best stories don't dwell on fear alone - they build up to it slowly, laying on layer after layer or just flat out ignore it all together.

"Cell" is simultaneously completely different and more of the same. It's well known that King has been "retired" for the last few years. (Nevermind the fact that he'll have published three books in less than a year and a half come October.) It is also well known that he's shied away from writing a genuine "horror" novel for quite some time - "Cell" is his first since, well, sometime in the 1990's. (Some may count "Dreamcatcher" as a horror story, but I'm not one of them. In fact, I think that it is better to pretend that book - or the movie [which very well may be the worst movie I have ever seen] ever existed.)

It differs from many of his other books, because the terror starts immediately. Think the new "Dawn of the Dead" remake mixed with the first episode of "Lost" and you're pretty close to there. It's gripping, frightening, visceral, and incredible - while it lasts. We meet our main protaganist - he's a graphic novel artist that's just sold a pitch, and he's on his way home to tell his wife and son. If this seems familier, it's because, well - it is. Count how many times King has used this exact character mold, and you'll run out of fingers really really quickly. Only, this time, it's different, because the main guy DRAWS things, instead of WRITING them. See? Different! What? Not so much? Yeah, I didn't think so either. And, of course, he's having marital problems and is hoping that a steady job will help improve their relationship. (Again - count how many times King has used this. A lot, I tell you.) And, of course, the bad stuff interrupts his trip home.

And boy oh boy, does it interrupt - the action starts and it is gloriously violent. We're talking teen girls with cell phones launching themselves at fellow teens, chomping on whatever they can grab hold of. It's bloody, confusing, and extremely promising - we're going to be taken on a fun zombie ride, and I have NO complaints. And then, well, that doesn't happen. Because the plot changes, and I have some serious issues with this, because it is NOT what we signed on for. And, I have to mention here, we're going to get into some serious spoilers. If you ever think that you're going to read the book and you want to stay surprised, jump off here - just know that I think the book starts off great, and quickly goes to "bleh." It's not a BAD book, just not great. Ok? So, away with you spoilerphobics.

Gone?

Good. So, we're introduced to our main characters pretty quickly. We've got our little group, and it looks like they're going to be going on a road trip, to see if they can find the main character's family. But, then they stop at a house. For, like a couple days. And every single bit of that exciting pace we just had drops to zero. Your interest begins to slowly die. And then? You find out these aren't zombies. In fact, they're mostly content to stick to themselves. They may have been, in fact, created by humans. They evolve. They rebel. There are many, many of them. And they have a plan (Oops. I apologize for the blatant shout-out - just way, way too much Battlestar Galactica on the brain, here.)

They eventually get back on the road, meeting up with the flow of fellow survivors, and you kinda get back into the "on the road" groove, and then... they stop. Again. For, like, a week. And talk a LOT. They try and figure out what's going on. And there's some sort of techno-babble crap about how this is all happeneing and how there is an explanation and all this crap, and I am SO bored. I mean, honestly - we had ZOMBIES, made by CELL PHONES. What is NOT to love about that story? What the crap is this storyline that I am being fed? I mean, seriously. (I honestly, for a second, considered that King might very well be using drugs again, but then I realized that the books that he wrote while using are actually, well, good.) The change is so abrupt and sudden that it's just...dumb. I mean, this guy is all hell-bent on getting back to his family, and he just STOPS? For a week? *sigh* It all goes downhill from here. The book morphs into something that I had zero interest in. And then he kills the only interesting character. And, you KNOW how it's going to end - and let me tell you just now, it's one thing for a book to build and build and you KNOW what the ending is, and it is going to be awesome. It is an entirely different thing for you to know where a book is headed, and you keep hoping that you're not right, because that path is the path that leads to crapitude. And then it ends that way.

And then there's the whole "point" of the book, the "moral." I mean, the whole "cell phones turn you into a zombie" metaphor isn't exactly subtle, but it's not exactly unwelcome, either. Sure, it's a bit too obvious, but I'll buy it. It's fun. And for the first third of the book, he's totally building into this not-so-subtle theme. And then he abandons it. And then, at the end, he totally forgets about it. How do our hero's beat the bad guys? With a cell phone. I kid you not. And it's not like he's "redeeming" it, either - he just forgets that he's spent a whole 1/3 of his book telling you that cell phones are bad. It's dumb, and it's uncalled for. And that's not the only other theme he abandons - in the first half of the book, all of the brandname items are bolded and larger print. Like this. It's all very "young modern writer," only King is neither modern nor young, so you're like, "Um, what the heck?" But again, I'll buy it - it's sort of a condemnation on our infatuation with namebrands and technology. That's ok with me, I'll buy it. But once again, he totally abandons this halfway through the book - no more bold words. No more analogies. It's just all...forgotten, maybe? I don't know. But it made me kind of mad, like I invested in something that was misleading me.

Ok. I think all the hate is gone now. Because, really, I didn't HATE the book - it just pissed me off that I was totally mislead. Perhaps if I had known what the book was actually about, I wouldn't have been so upset. I mean, the plot isn't exactly BAD, even though it IS typical (classic?) King. But it just seems very, very lazy. King usually never abandons his themes or ideas - in fact, he usually pounds them over your head. And some of the scenes are pretty awesome, and genuinely creepy/scary. He has a few fresh feeling characters, and you have glimpses of some really fun stuff. But, in the end, it's all just way too disjointed. And that's kinda sad, because I was really looking forward to a solid genre entry - I like "'Salem's Lot" a ton, and I was hoping he'd do for zombies what he did for vampires. If you love King, check it out - you'll probably find some stuff to like. If you could take it or leave it, then get it from the library, or pick up a used paperback a few years down the line. You're not missing a whole lot.

thatoneguy gives "Cell" a C+ overall, but gives the first third of the book an A-

I Suddenly Feel Old

2006-02-21T02:43:00.000-08:00

Today (February 21st) is the 20th birthday of "The Legend of Zelda." It was first released February 21st, 1986, and is considered by most to be one of the finest videogames of all time.

I also believe it to be the game that holds a personal record for me - the game in which I have spent the most time playing with the least amount of progress. I don't even think I got to the first dungeon until I was, like, 12 or so. (Yes, Megan - you totally kick my butt when it comes to this game. I bow to your superiority.)

My neighbor and I played this game for hours, every day - until our mothers would kick us outside to go and play. It's still just as fun today - and, hopefully, we'll have a brand new Zelda game to take over our lives in the next few months.

edited to fix a stupid grammer mistake - I had written "Mom's" when that word should neither be capitolized nor have it's very own apostrophe - so I fixed it

An Apology, Some Admiration, and A Display of Awesome-ness

2006-02-15T00:54:00.000-08:00

Michelle Kwan, I am sorry.

I know. I have made sarcastic comments about you for the last 8 years or so, and I'm sorry.

Truth is, your first Olympics? I was totally rooting for you. When you got Silver instead of Gold, I felt pretty bad for you - it must have sucked. A lot.

However, the next time you came back, it was like EVERYONE (including yourself) assumed that you automatically deserved the Gold. It was a given - you'd be up on that stand. Problem is, I'm a total sucker for the underdog story. I'm not sure if you were just self-assured, or just a tad bit prideful, but I was actually fairly happy when you ended up with Bronze - perhaps it was my love for irony that made me so satisfied - I'm not exactly sure.

Now, for the 2006 Olympics, I started off dead set on rooting for anyone BUT you. You knocked someone else off the team when they added you to the roster, even though you weren't healthy enough to compete in the National qualifiers. That, is not cool. And, once again, everyone started up with your praises.

But not me, no way - I was sure that you were some sort of self-absorbed star, drunk on the praises of the media. To put it simply, I did not like you all that much.

But I was way, way wrong. Totally wrong. And I apologize. Dropping out of the Olympics? That shows some SERIOUS grace and humility, right there. There's no way I'd ever have done it - and ESPECIALLY not on day two. I do not care if I lost both of my legs to frostbite - I'd have stubbornly clung to my spot on the team up until the actual competition, actively hoping that some miracle would restore me back to health.

Instead, you bow out gracefully. You take the moral high ground, and admit that you won't be able to compete. And all of this is on top of the fact that this IS the last chance for your Gold. It is one thing to have someone beat you for it - it's a totally different matter to give it up yourself, to gracefully acknowledge that your time is done.

I feel pretty stupid. All my cynicism and sarcasm is coming back to bite me in the rear, and I'm pretty sure that there's a lesson in here, somewhere. So here it is: I'm sorry I was so bitter. I'm sorry I said all those mean things and made all those mean jokes. I am sorry that I misjudged you. I'm sorry that I judged you at all - as a Christian, I'm not exactly supposed to be doing that. And I am very, very sorry that you never got your gold.

Shaun White has been a big name to the Meaden clan for quite some time, now. Both of my younger brothers are very active snowboarders, and one of them is an awesome skater as well. Needless to say, there are Shaun White posters all over the place. And, accordingly, we all freaked out (in the good way) at his awesome win on Sunday. I'm adding his final run to my "Coolest Olympic Moments" list, definitely. For those that missed it, snowboarders get two runs in the halfpipe finals - their best score is kept, the lower one is tossed. Shaun White had had an amazing run the first time through (with "Back in Black" playing over the loudspeakers - how awesome is THAT?) and set the bar so high that no one really even came close, even on their second attempts. He was the last one to go, so he knew he had the Gold - everyone else had taken their second run, so he was left at the top (with one run still to go), suddenly realizing that he'd gotten Gold. He popped his iPod ear-phones out of his ear, and you saw this slow realization spread over his face as the crowd starts chanting his name. He looks around, clearly overwhelmed, then gets ahold of himself and asks the officials - "So, can I go again now?" And he takes his second run, just completely screwing around. He falls, but that's ok - he's crying now, and it's pretty awesome. Most snowboarders act like winning isn't a bit deal, but Shaun is clearly quite amazed at the whole thing. His family cries, he cries, and he's hilarious in his interviews.

Funniest moment, though? Later on, when he admits that he hopes that this Gold medal will get him a date with Sasha Cohen.

Finally, Joey Cheek is one awesome guy. He wins the 500 meter speed skate event, and what does he do at his press conference?

Talk about Africa. He's giving ALL of his money that he receives from this to a charity for Africa, and using all of his 15 minutes of fame to talk about the situation there. His words: "This is a unique experience, I want to take advantage of it. You've got to keep things in perspective,'' Cheek said. "Sure, I've been training for this my whole life, but I'm just a guy skating around in tights. It's not that big a deal.'' That's pretty dang cool. If YOU want to help out with the situation in Africa (and you should), you can find a list of charities right here.

Oh, and it looks like I won't be doing the Oscar thing - zero interest, other than Rogue's desire to see me in a pink scarf. I'll give it a few more days, so let me know... because I have about half the reviews written anyways, but I'll give it a break if you're all tired of the review thing.

My TiVo Will Be Getting The Workout Of It's Life

2006-02-10T05:26:00.000-08:00

The Winter Olympics begin tonight.

And, just as a friendly warning, I'll most likely be posting about them quite a bit. More later, perhaps, when I am not on my lunch break.

The Oscars! Yay? Or Not so Much?

2006-02-05T01:02:00.000-08:00

The Acadamy Awards (otherwise known as the "Oscars") are coming up in a little over month. You either know this, or probably could care less. My question, is this:

I am thinking of posting a review/commentary on one Oscar nominated film a week, up until the the Oscars themselves. Is this something you would be interested in, or not? And, if you *are* interested, are there any specific films that you'd like to hear about? Let me know through the comments section - you can catch a list of the nominees right here: http://www.oscars.com/nominees/films.html

I Call B.S.

2006-02-03T20:56:00.000-08:00

NBC's "Will and Grace" is set to end it's eight season run this May. And no matter what you think of the show itself, there are a few things that are undeniable. First, it is often a very, very funny show. Second, it has never (in the times that I've seen it) unfairly mocked any group, belief, or minority. If they take a shot, it's usually a fair one - it may sting, but that gives way to you thinking "...yeah, but it's funny because it's kinda true."

It was announced last week that Britney Spears was going to guest star in an episode that will be airing April 13. In the episode, the gay-centric TV network Jack works for is bought out by a Christian broadcaster, and Spears' character is brought onto Jack's show to appeal to the religious market. Jack then recruits Will to help his new co-host relax a bit. The new co-host was going to be the role that Spears would play. Her character was going to be an overly upbeat Christian that wants to add a cooking segment called - hilariously enough - "Cruci-fixin's" to Jack's talk show.

None of this will be happening, however. All the Christian activist groups quickly reared up and started threatening to boycott NBC - never mind that the episode still wasn't even written, let alone filmed. NBC quickly backpedeled, and announced that "Some erroneous information was mistakenly included in a press release describing an upcoming episode of 'Will & Grace,' which in fact has yet to be written. The reference to 'Cruci-fixin's' won't be in the show, and the storyline will not contain a Christian characterization at all. We value our viewers and sincerely regret if this information has offended them."

And here is where I call B.S. Not at NBC - but at the Christian activist groups.

As you probably know, I consider myself a "Conservative Christian." But lately I'm finding myself more and more baffled at what the crap the Christian church is focusing it's efforts on. Here's the thing - that plot line was funny. I can't even begin to imagine how it could even be CALLED offensive to any Christian. And before you begin to be upset with me, let me ask you this:

How on earth could that episode be ANY more offensive than anything aired on TBN? Or more embarrassing than any of Pat Roberson's insane comments? People - we, as Christian's, have been acting like complete idiots for the last few years. It's insane. Looking around, I see a complete disconnect from the Christianity I see in the Bible and the Christianity currently running amuck in America.

What part of that episode's plot line was offensive? The part about the new owner insisting that a Christian element be added? Because, you know, that actually happens all the time.

Was it the name "Cruci-fixin's"? Because if so, my goodness - please go into a freaking CHRISTIAN BOOK STORE and take a look around. Buy yourself some "Testi-mints," pop them in your mouth, and think about just how Godless someone must be to even name a cooking segment "Cruci-fixin's." Please.

Or was it the fact that Britney Spears would be playing a Christian character? God knows, I am by NO means a lover or defender of Britney Spears (Ask me about the time where I had to spend 5+ hours in a pitch dark room with "Oops I Did It Again" playing on permanent repeat - actually, please don't) - but the girl grew up Baptist, sang in the Choir, and has a Dad who used to be an Elder in his church.

If that episode made you feel just a bit embarrassed it's probably because it hits just a LITTLE too close to home? Let me fill you in on something - it was funny because, well, it was true.

It seems to me that we have a bit more to worry about than some episode that most Christians probably don't watch anyways. And really, I can't help but think that all this time and effort that you spend organizing boycotts and sending out chain e-mails can be spent more wisely. Say, perhaps, by furthering Christ's kingdom by actually showing a bit of love? Maybe, you know, helping out those in need? Praying, maybe?

No? Stupid me. I must be reading the wrong Bible - mine's missing the "How to organize an effective boycott" section.

Time to Break Out the Mr. Pibb and Red Vines...

2006-01-27T23:02:00.000-08:00

My second favorite film of 2005 (And currently second-highest grossing film of 2005), "The Chronicles of Narnie: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" is coming out on DVD in a little over two months. (Nevermind the fact that it's *still* sitting pretty in the top 10 of the box office every weekend.) There will be a single disk set (for people that don't really want to know anything about the film) and a double disk set (the one that pretty much everyone will actually be buying). Why will everyone be buying the double disk set? Check out these special features:

TWO commentaries - One with the director and other filmmakers (no word on who they'll be), and one with him and the children.

Pop-up windows that can be enabled to show you facts about the books and C.S. Lewis while you're watching the film.

An interactive map of Narnia (Very, very cool.)

A "making of" featurette

Concept art and diaries of those involved with the film

Collectable booklet

AND more that hasn't quite been finalized yet - I'm betting deleted scenes, at the least.

All this will be hitting stores on April 4th, so you have plenty of time to save your pennies. :-)

Say What?

2006-01-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

It is the end of the month, otherwise known as "bill paying time." I got paid today, so I log on to pay one of my bills that is due next Monday, and...

...find out that I already paid it. A couple weeks ago. Apparently, in some odd state of responsibility (which I'm pretty sure is somewhere near Wisconsin, that's how odd it is), I paid my bill already. Early.

As in, ahead of time.

It felt... weird. But good. I was all like, "Wow... I am... Responsible?" Confused the heck out of me, let me tell you that.

Now I just need to figure out something to buy to reward myself for being so responsible...

thatoneguy's Top Five Films of 2005 - FINALLY!

2006-01-27T03:57:00.000-08:00

Ok. We are so going to bust the baby out of the park. And by “this baby,” I am referring to my FIVE ABSOLUTE FAVORITEST FILMS OF 2005! Which you should be really thrilled about, considering that I’ve been working on this post for about 2 or 3 weeks now. So let me just tell you this – please. Lower your expectations. You will not see something amazing or astounding here, just a few little movies that I totally geeked out about. They are, what I like to call, “great films.” Films that I just pretty much love.

Though, I thought I should point something out before I started this final little countdown thingy – these aren’t “the best” films of 2005. At all. And this isn’t to diminish the artistry of these films – the artistry there, and it’s evident. However, when putting this list together I didn’t go through my list of films and think, “Hm, now, which of these films made the greatest artistic statement? Which of them is the finest work of art?” Because this isn’t the place for that – these are, purely, the films that make me want to watch more films. The ones I geeked out about for endless days. Weeks. Months. (Years? Hasn’t been years yet, but just maybe…) These are films that I can find myself watching 10 or 20 years down the road. These are films that I wouldn’t mind watching next week, either. And that’s a fine line – for instance, I thought “Hotel Rwanda” (which actually came out in 2004) was an absolutely incredible film. It physically crushed me, and left sitting in the theater with tears streaming down my face. Because of this, it isn’t one of my favorite films. I’m not going to be popping it in the dvd player just any old night – perhaps once in a while, when I want to be reminded of it’s impact, but it’s not a “fun” movie. These, I believe, are. All five of them dare you to dream, just a little bit. And every single one transports you to a time or place that is far, far away from our world. Also? They’re all adapted from previous materials, which is kinda weird, but hey – I like them. And really, that’s all this list means – I like these films. A lot. So, I’m going to talk about them.

A lot.

Let’s start now.

5. KING KONG (2005)

I actually understand why people aren’t flocking to see this movie. It’s an achingly heartfelt love letter to a film that everyone knows about (but hasn’t actually seen, but more on that some other time). It’s more than just a tribute – this film is Peter Jackson saying, “Look, you guys – this story, these characters, are the reason why any of you were ever able to see a “Lord of the Rings” movie made. Without them, I wouldn’t be here.” And he’s not trying to remake it, or “update” it – in fact, I don’t think that he ever even thought that his film would be ANY sort of improvement. It’s just him unleashing his inner child – without any restraints. Because really, when you get down to it, this is a film that a nine year old would make.

A lot of people complained that everything was a bit excessive – well, duh. Jackson is in full-on nine year-old mode, here - why have Kong fight ONE T-Rex when he can fight THREE? Why only have a giant wall with a gate when you can have a monolithic wall illuminated only by fire and magma perched on the edge of a vast chasm? In fact, you get the sense that Jackson doesn't really care what the audience thinks of what he's putting on the screen. This is completely for him and him alone, and we as the audience are just along for the ride.

This is not a film made for adults. It’s for kids, for those who still dare to dream, for those who “get” what Jackson is doing. It’s a film that he has dreamed about since he was NINE. Sure, it’s sloppy. It’s messy. And yeah, perhaps a tad self-indulgent – but none of this matters, because this is just Jackson’s imagination magically transposed into film. This film demands to be seen on the best and biggest screen possible – waiting for DVD simply is not an option. “King Kong” is the epitome of the phrase “big screen spectacle.” It is huge, it is glorious, and it is an absolute blast.

4 - Pride and Prejudice

This film wasn’t supposed to be this good – it was supposed to be so bland and painfully “modernized” that none of us would have any trouble proclaiming the mini-series to be vastly superior in every imaginable way. Instead, we got a masterpiece.

This is the director’s first film, which makes it all the more incredible – the film effortlessly soars at nearly every point. The camera swirls through the dance scenes, shows the lush beauty of the English countryside at every moment, and pauses and lingers to show us things that we’d never really notice otherwise. It’s never flashy, yet it’s never ceases to give our eyes something new to examine.

It’s more than just a pretty picture, however – Austen’s brilliant words are brought to life by a group of actors that are uniformly perfect. Keira Knightley, who is quickly becoming the actress that everyone thought Natalie Portman was going to become (which is ironic, since Keira Knightley played Sabe – Padme’s [Who’s played by Portman] body double in “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.”), gives the performance of her career as Elizabeth Bennet – as well she should, since she claims “Pride and Prejudice” as her favorite book. Her performance got her a Golden Globe nomination, and don’t be surprised if she picks up an Oscar nod as well. Most of the other performances are easily up to par – even Matthew Macfadyen, who has the un-enviable role of trying to fill Colin Firth’s shoes (Which he doesn’t *quite* do, but still – the guy deserves major props for even TRYING. I sure as heck wouldn’t.)

The direction, performances, and story all come together to present something incredible – a film that works as a chick flick, comedy, period piece, and drama all at once. It’s a film that my entire family loved, one that made me laugh, smile, and even cry – twice. It’s more than just an old story made new; it’s the rare sort of film that lives and breathes, effortlessly convincing you of the reality of the characters, setting, and situations. It’s lush simplicity at it’s finest, and it should not be missed.

3. HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

I honestly feel a bit sorry for anyone who’s yet to experience a Hayao Miyazaki film. This one is one of his finest – and that says a lot. Rogue and I saw this film two times in a single week, and we’ll be buying it the day that it comes to DVD. There is a point when proclaiming a film to be a “work of art” simply isn’t enough. This film, quite simply, is one of those films. Every single second of this film is pure beauty, both in its art and its story. If I seem a bit reserved in the words I’m using, just know this – words fail when trying to describe just how incredible this film is. This is not some film to be “watched” – this is a film that you experience. And it’s wonderful.

2. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

My review of this film was short – my explanation for this film’s place on my list will be even shorter. This film was near perfect, and better than I could ever had hoped. See it, and you’ll understand. If you loved the books, you know what I’m talking about – it’s a magical thing to have Narnia right there, up on the screen. It’s like my own imagination was projected on the screen, and there’s something very, very special about that. What more can I say? (That is, other than “Can we go see it again, Rogue? :) )

1. SERENITY

I know. You are not surprised. In fact, you are probably rolling your eyes at me right now. So allow me to explain – and yes, it may take a while. You may want to make some coffee, perhaps grab some food. Cozy? Good.

“Firefly” was a television show that aired on Fox during the fall of 2002. It was shown out of order, moved around, left of the television schedule, and promptly cancelled. I was lucky enough to catch a single one of these episodes – and I was interested. However, my college didn’t exactly get the channel Fox was on. Thus, I wasn’t able to explore it further.

I bought the DVDs the day they came out, and promptly sat down to see what I’d missed. At first, I wasn’t impressed – the characters were clearly carbon copies of other well known characters. There was also a huge cast, and I everyone sort of mixed together. But, since I’d paid $40 for the thing, I stuck with it.

And, somewhere along the way, something incredible happened – the characters came alive. They lived, they breathed, they were real, real to me. And then I finished the episodes, and that was it. There were no more. Their stories were done – cancelled by a network that never even liked the show.

However, I could give the series new life – I could pass it along to my friends. And I did. My DVD set of Firefly has been loaned to over 20 different people, and all of them fell in love with it. Here was a show that captured the love of nearly anyone who came into contact with it, but it was only a memory. 13 episodes. A little over 9 hours, and that’s it. Cancelled shows, as a rule, do not come back.

But the fans refused to let that be the end. Unbelievably, against all odds, the show refused to die. The DVD launched up into the top of the charts, and remained there for 1 month, then 2 months, then three and four – it refused to go away. Conventions were filled with homemade shirts, booths run by fans were popping up left and right. The cast went public – proclaiming their love for both the show and the fans. Joss Whedon, the creator of the series refused to give up, and looked for a home for this show that no network wanted to even touch. The little show that could, and the growing fan base (who call themselves Browncoats - watch the series, and you'll understand why) caught the attention of Universal. And a movie was announced.

The fans went nuts. *I* went nuts. This is the first time that I’ve ever been involved in a grass-roots effort like this – I helped design posters and banners, I chatted with the cast on the forums, and it couldn’t have been more incredible. Yes, I geeked out – and I’m proud of it.

The movie came out, and it was (and is) perfect. It’s an epic, moving Sci-Fi film that resounds long after the credits fade. And as amazing as it is, as wonderful as it is, the best part is that it’s personal – it’s a love letter to the fans, and it proudly displays that love with every frame. It’s a film that is already firmly entrenched in my all time favorites list, and I doubt that it’ll be displaced anytime soon. I’m done saying “See it, or else!” – I’ve said that enough. If you haven’t seen it, it’s simply your loss. I’m not going to rant or rave at you, it’s your choice. However, before you write it off, know this – you’re missing an experience that is like nothing else.

Oh '24,' How I Have Missed You So.

2006-01-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

I love high quality television. It's all the fault of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" - before that show, I could take or leave television. But it turns out, there IS good stuff on tv - you just can't really trust what's popular. So yes. I love "Lost," "Grey's Anatomy," and the new "Battlestar Galactica." I watch every single new episode of "Gilmore Girls," "Supernatural," "Medium," and "Alias," among others. (Ok, so I haven't really seen much of this season of Alias - we're pretty much waiting for the DVDs, I think.)

However, there is but one show that prompts an incomprehensible giddiness in my little heart. And that show is "24." Yes, the plot contrivances are many. Something big always suspiciously happens at every hour mark. And just how many bad days can one man have, anyways? Still, my love for this show knows no bounds. This show is so glorious that it even has it's own drinking game. (For those wondering, you take a drink every time the word "dammit" is said by a character - TWO drinks if Jack uses it in conjunction with a person's name; ie, "Dammit, Tony!" I dare not play this game, as you'll pretty much be flat out drunk before the half-hour mark.) There isn't really reason or purpose for this post - it was just my lunch break and I really really really wanted to write some words that didn't involve reviewing films. (And yes, the top five will be up soon - it's just that writing about 15 movies takes a surprising amount of time.) Also, I kinda wanted to geek out a bit - I mean, you have GOT to respect a show that brutally kills off two of it's most popular characters in the first 10 minutes of the new season.

Oh yes. The "Jack Bauer Power Hour" is back. And I am loving it.

Also, tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 24. Which is kinda weird.

that one guy

Movies I Saw In 2008

Review: Brisingr

a few words on banned books

thatoneguy's vegas adventures! (spoiler alert - they're pretty lame and boring)

oh yes. two things.

catching up, part 1

the whole deal with the adoption thing

don't freak out.

awesome summer movie blowout, part one

this was a triumph. i'm making a note here: huge success!

I'm totally at a loss for a title, here. So... yeah.

twitter

our favorite films of the year 2007, part TEN. (Yes. Finally. Our absolute favorite film from the year 2007. WE DID IT!)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part NINE! (The penultimate entry in which we both geek out over giant robots)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part EIGHT! (In which we discuss films with a rather shockingly high amount of violence)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part SEVEN! (In which we discuss films that include a plethora of brilliant British accents!)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part SIX (Yes! We continue on! In this edition? Rats and serial killers!)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part FIVE! (in which the competition heats up, and the quality of the films chosen become shockingly intense!)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part four (in which we assure you that YES, we WILL be getting through all ten films! [God willing.])

our favorite films of the year 2007, part three (in which I *shockingly* add a family friendly film to my list, and Sarah continues to rock)

our favorite films of the year 2007, part two (in which our exciting choices for number nine is revealed!)

#10!

Top Ten Films off 2007!

Happy Christmas!

movies galore

Tragedy Averted

thatoneguy reviews "Beowulf"

Help Needed. Badly.

Also.

In Which I Desperately Try And Write Something Worth Reading

Summer-y Judgement

This Story Just Completely Made My Night

We'll Always Have... Paris? Really?

Say What?

Sarah 1, Gallbladder 0

(Mostly) Good News!

And I So Wish I Was Joking

Soon. Very Soon.

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Six

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Five

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Four

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Three

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part Two

ThatOneGuy's Top Ten Films of 2006 (And His Wife's, Too!): Part One

Less Talk, More Rock

We Have A Wii

NaNoWriMo

Wedding Pictures! Yay!

Television Has Officially Been Saved

Geek Overload

A Small Request

Married! Yay!

It's Not A Tumor

Fall TV Preview - Part .05

A Short Quiz, With Answers Following

KIDNAP THE SANTY CLAWS

Links and Such

It's About Freaking Time

A Show of Hands, If You Will

Great Odin's Beard!

What? A Kid's Movie? Scary? You'd Better Believe It.

What? Me? Gone? Pshaw.

Here's the Deal

cuteness^2

Screw You, Sun

HECK. YEAH.

Just A Hunch...

My Thursday Morning

Call Me What You Want - I Regret Nothing

Color Me Surprised (What Color Would "Surprised" Be, Anways?)

Bored Now

Things To Do and See

You'll Never Quite Look At Your Cell Phone In The Same Way

I Suddenly Feel Old

An Apology, Some Admiration, and A Display of Awesome-ness

My TiVo Will Be Getting The Workout Of It's Life

The Oscars! Yay? Or Not so Much?

I Call B.S.

Time to Break Out the Mr. Pibb and Red Vines...

our favorite films of the year 2007, part three (in which I shockingly add a family friendly film to my list, and Sarah continues to rock)